by brunnhilde 37 Replies latest social relationships
If you really want to piss him off just move back in.
Respectfully, acting for the sole reason of pissing someone off is not a good way to act, and is childish. Do you really think provoking fights is a healthy and reasonable thing to do, even if you're wronged?
If you really want to piss him off just move back in.Respectfully, acting for the sole reason of pissing someone off is not a good way to act, and is childish. Do you really think provoking fights is a healthy and reasonable thing to do, even if you're wronged?It was a joke, lighten up.
It's obvious they are not living together for a reason, humor is a good thing in stressful situations.
dragonlady of the knows how to act class.
Ah, I got you. Sometimes humor escapes my notice. ;-)
Ah, I got you. Sometimes humor escapes my notice. ;-)
It happens to us all, John. When you don't hear the tone of voice and see facial expressions, sarcasm and humor can come accross as immaturity. Luckily, we are all adults here and give each other the courtesy of an explanation when our comments are questioned.
No big deal, it's a matter of getting used to others posting styles, it happens over time, you discover a pattern to them and figure out who is always serious, empathetic and goofy etc..
The most important is to sell the house quick at the better price ... everything else is about his privacy (a right) ... and about your part of ownership (still have access to the house and use it if needed meanwhile). Since he didn't say anything like "you don't have the right to get into the house" well I just think that he just don't want some people to meet and maybe in very intimate situation (which is understandable) not sure you want to see that too (not that it would hurt you - but just because well if you can avoid it it's better for everyone) - what if it was the reverse situation?
but I can understand that at first (because of your free for now investement) it sounded a bit out of place to ask you that ... but if you really think about it ... well ... everything is ok.
I don't think his request is unreasonable - it is his living space regardless of which of you are paying for it. Having been through a somewhat similar issue - I find your story interesting. It was probably nothing more than a thoughtless comment or a slight dig at you - neither of which should get under your skin. Just push for a quick house sale - either that or tell him to get out and have a stranger rent the house until it sells.
In most cases the guy pays the ENTIRE mortgage and utilities. I see no reason why the shoe can't be on the other foot. When my ex and I split, I had to turn my keys in and
I should have lived on that illusionary planet!!!! sammieswife.
I should have lived on that illusionary planet!!!!
I've seen a few comments like this reguarding my comment about the guy paying the mortgage. I don't know in what country you reside, seeing as how not a lot of people identify their true residence, age, gender, etc. I know many, many women, including my mother and sister (who was married for 5 years and has no children), who walked away w/ a shitload of alimony and a fully paid mortgage. My mother's husband (a JW elder) pays his ex-wife's mortgage while she sits at home on her fat, lazy ass. I also have several divorced male friends who are responsible for the mortgage of their ex-wives' residence. None of these men are welcome into the residence w/o permission from the ex-wife and not one has a key to her place. I guess I could have gotten the same thing, but I don't need my ex or a dime of his money. I do very well on my own (w/o a day over HS)!
Hi OP, I understand your frustration-but I think it comes more from the letting so many other things 'slide' than it is about his wanting some notice of your arrival. Perhaps you can simply change the rules. I don't know how much of this is done with lawyers, and how much you have just worked out for yourselves. If you think he is taking advantage in the situation-housing, utilities, child, etc., then decide what battles are really worth fighting. I know that in divorce there are myriads of them. If the house is for sale, do you have anything in writing about the condition the house must be kept in? Do you have an agreement about what kind of offer you are both willing to accept? It is costing you money every month he is there, and he is getting a really good deal-which is not in his interest to forgo by actually getting it sold. So make sure your financial butt is protected from his agenda.
Perhaps he could agree to keep several changes of your son's clothes in the garage, so that you can retrieve them when necessary. I don't think calling before you are coming over is that unreasonable, but if you are just accessing a garage, it should only be informational, not in the way of asking permission, and not off limits if he doesn't answer the phone.
Decide what issues you have doormatted on and see what you can do, if anything to change them if possible. If nothing, accept it and make note for the future. Good luck!
sorry double post
