I finally took my stand.

Orgull

I just missed two meetings for the first time in five years.

This past week I went "on vacation", housesitting for relatives nearby. I told my bookstudy overseer I'd be "away", even though I was only a twenty minute drive from the Kingdom Hall. I spent the entire week away from my insane family, away from the meetings and away from my "brothers and sisters".

It felt great.

Coming home felt... not so great.

But the first brick in my fade has been laid. I missed meetings. The guy who NEVER misses. Hah!

Of course, I have to go to the meeting tomorrow or they'll know something is up. Ugh. Fading is going to test my patience to the limit.

Open mind

"Even the longest journey begins with a single step."

Wasn't it CT Russell who said that? (gag)

Good for you.

Baby steps. Baby steps to freedom.

Bob (as in "What About") would be proud.

Open Mind

OnTheWayOut

Congrats. Keep making progress. Go as fast as you dare. Set a goal to
miss more. I was probably one of the quickest faders, other than those who
simply walked away all at once.

You can actually monitor your progress of a fade. Start by missing 25% of
a certain meeting, which is about once a month, but add special occasions
and overtime and sick-days (mental health). Start doing this with the other
meetings as well. Most start missing bookstudy, then evening meetings.
Usually, dropping the WT and public meeting is the slowest fade, but whatever
you feel comfortable with.

Don't forget to cut back on commenting and field service. Personally, I had to
stop recruiting altogether and fake it with one or two hours for a few months until
I was ready to go "inactive." Even if you go out, just go through the motions and
don't really try to "sell" the literature. Nobody will notice, anyway.

Good for you.

Arthur

Of course, I have to go to the meeting tomorrow or they'll know something is up. Ugh. Fading is going to test my patience to the limit.

Yes, it surely is difficult. I strongly recommend that you DO NOT make any statements to anyone that would suggest that you have doubts. Don't make any waves, or draw attention to yourself. I made the mistake early on of confiding in a couple of people, thinking that it was the right thing to do. Wrong! Opening up to people will just make your life very difficult.

I would suggest that you make your fade very gradual. Don't start missing a bunch of meetings too quickly. This will draw attention to yourself. Just slowly and gradually miss more. If you are approached by elders, just tell them that you have been "busy with stuff"; whatever that might be. Just tell them what they want to hear. But again, from my own experience, I strongly suggest that you avoid confiding in anyone about how you truly feel about the organization. It will surely come back as a boomerang and hurt you.

ninja

well done orgy mate....apostasy aint easy

carla

Couldn't you pretend to have a second job or something? Make the fade a little easier? I'd rather shovel manure than go to a kh myself, 'course I've never been but just from what I've heard and from the looks of it my jw doesn't exactly come home all excited or joyful.

R.F.

Well done Orgull. Definitely take your time with the fade and follow some of the good advice already given here. Just follow your instincts and play it smart and you'll come out unscathed.

free2think

Well Done Orgull. I know what you mean, fading really does test the patience, but it has its benefits too.

Twitch

Congrats, Orgull

One brick at a time,.....

greendawn

A lot of JWs chose to follow the way out of the cult through fading, as long as you don't tell them anything critical of their FDS and doctrine there is nothing they can do to you. Meanwhile you can start developing a social life outside the JW community. If so many succeeded so will you.

I finally took my stand.

Share this