regrets

by IP_SEC 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    So....you want to be dad? I love hearing that from men.

    Truly, Matt, be glad you didn't have kids with the wrong person because of being jw--you really might feel some regrets then, buddy!!! Since you're a guy, you can have them whenever you wish.

  • free2think
    free2think

    I think you'll make a great dad IP.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    yup i regret not having children.

    i would have loved to teach them and take them places - like disneyland

    i didn't do it cos the wts told me not to.

    what a plank

  • shopaholic
    shopaholic

    IP_SEC, wow, its interesting to hear that from a guy. You'll make a great dad. Also, you have PLENTY of time. I know several couples that didn't have children until their late 30's.

    But you are not alone in that regret. For many years, I didn't want kids but I also didn't think that I would be in my 30's and "still in this system" as they say. Now that I see that it was all a farce, I think about having a family and being a mom more often than I ever did before (I'm surprising myself). As a guy you've got all the time in the world, however, for me I fear it might be too late partly because of trust issues you develop from being a long-time JW. I really do feel like I have so many great things to share and pass on to a child especially a little girl. Plus, when I think about all the older JWs that didn't have any kids and are all alone, I don't want to end up like that. I have plenty of nieces and nephews but its not the same. Its nice to know that someone might be around for you when you get older.

    So, I'm not trying to make a baby connection here, just saying I know the feelin'.

  • daystar
    daystar

    IP_SEC, I know we're the same age and all, but... will you be my daddy? I promise to spit up on you only when you get me liquored up.

    Seriously though... I understand exactly what you mean. I've wanted a little boy to raise as far back as I can remember. Luckily fortune has smiled on me and I have a fantastic one. But you're nowhere near too old to have one now.

    On the other hand... you're going to have to face the possibility that you may never have one, and be okay with that. Or, maybe, try Big Brothers and Sisters... or, look into adoption.

  • sammielee24
    sammielee24

    You still have loads of time ...but if the feeling to nurture is that strong, there are groups like Big Brothers and there is always foster care. Foster kids need someone to love them and guide them and be a rock for them too - then there is always adoption. All children are special. Good luck! sammieswife.

  • freedomloverr
    freedomloverr

    Lonelysheep read my mind....

    I think you may have had a BIGGER regret if you had a child with a jw wife and then had to see that child torn between choosing mom or dad's beliefs.

    you really do have time. having a child is wonderful but it's also great being in a good relationship and having that child with someone you really love.

    regrets? we all have them to some extent.

    cheers -

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    I wish I had questioned being a witness years earlier.. when I was a kid.. Dad was never a witness.. if I had had a clue to its falseness he would have never made me be one. but I never even thought to question..

    so many things would have been different..

  • jeanV
    jeanV

    34? great age! I have plenty of friends that had children much later than that (but I would not recommend to wait till you are 40 )

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Ipsec I'd love to volunteer for inccubation duties for you but I've already promised to have someone else's babies. I have approximately 8 or 9 years to persuade him he wants me to have them for him.

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