Harry Potter and the exasperated mum........help

by fifi40 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  mrsjones5

  but unfortunately Alex asks me to check it with his dad first................

  I would have told the dear boy to ask his father himself. I get the feeling that he already knew what his father's answer would be but didn't want to be in the line of fire and hoped that you could sway your ex to let him go. I wouldn't have let myself be drawn into it and would I have told my son that as far as I was concerned it was ok for him to go but if he felt he needed the approval of his father and if his father said he couldn't go, that was fine too. No skin off my nose and I'll see you after I see the movie.

  Josie
• 

  fifi40

  Well it seems I may have got my point across.........he just asked Alex "Do you want to go?"..........to which Alex replied "Yes" and ex left it at that.................

  So Alex is back at mine (we share custody) and is off to see HP and the evil mind influencing little demons tonight...........I just hope he doesnt get to mentally scarred by the film.........hee hee

  I actually just said to Al that he shouldnt feel bad about it as lots of JWs go to see it and dont see anything wrong with it............I do keep talking to him as well about thinking for yourself and checking things out for yourselves........oh and I also mentioned that i wouldnt like him to get baptised at a young age for a variety of reasons (which I explained to him) including the fact that Jesus was not baptised until he was 30 (ish).........

  Anyway thanks for the help everyone.......................I hate this doing battle with this religion and its naive followers
• 

  daystar

  I think the important thing is that this does not hurt your son's conscience, not your own feelings about it.

  If I place myself back in my old JW shoes, it becomes very obvious that the Harry Potter movies are not movies that so-called "True Christians" should go see. Hmmm, let's see... magic, and magic and even more magic!

  Whether "so many other JWs are going to see it" is true or not, it's completely irrelevant. It's herd thinking. "Look! See! A lot of others are doing it!"

  I hope you and your son enjoy the film.
• 

  White Dove

  When Starwars came out in 1977 and all of the others came out, my mom fought my dad and even went to the elders about not letting my dad take us to see it. The elders said that their families saw it and it was pretty good. She was all out of sorts. My dad simply took us. Just go!
• 

  Heather

  Telling your child you don't want them to see Harry Potter is like saying you don't want them to have an imagination. If thats the case you might as well ban them from seeing any fictional movie. Its just a movie with great imagination. Spiderman isn't real either.....was he alowed to see that.....I'm happy that (poo head) was able to finally ask your son what he wanted cause I know of many cases where the parents were strickt like that and it eventually back fires. Good luck and I hope he enjoyed the movie....my 9 year old loved it!
• 

  Emma

  Maybe you could use this as one of those teaching moments where you subtly encourage him to reason on this. You could also tell him that you and his dad differ on some things and that doesn't make one view wrong.

  Interrestingly, I haven't heard anyone spreading smurf-like stories about having the HP books in the house.
• 

  Mum

  Your son is only three years from being 18, legal age to make his own decisions. Unfortunately, his father does not appear to be concerned that this young man will one day have to make good decisions based on more important criteria than whether daddy would be displeased.

  I keep beating this drum with my own family. Young folks need to sit down and write, if necessary, a list of pros and cons, the reasons why a decision would be sound or, possibly, hurtful. In short, they need to learn right from wrong and have an internalized value system / moral code. If you thought your son would be harmed by seeing this movie, I am sure you would veto his choice, and that's fine. In three short years, no one will have veto power, and he will need to know for himself what is appropriate.

  Regards,

  SandraC
• 

  Gill

  Take Him to see it! Hope you both have a great time.

  You remind me though of my kids when we were still JWs. The school showed the film, 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' and one of my twins was worried that he shouldn't be watching it and sat under the school desk. They watched the first half that day. When he came home his brother told me what had happened. I made sure that the next day he actually WATCHED the film and didn't sit under the desk.

  My cousin is a rabid JW. She takes her children out of English lessons where Harry Potter is read in their school. Even the mention of Harry Potter is discouraged and the kids are absolutely superstitious....as are all JWs. The kids all say, as taught by their mother, that they don't watch HP as there is no such thing as magic, but the real reason is their mother is terrified that they will become possessed by demons.....God knows they're naughty enough already....she can't cope with any more trouble!!

  My parents are terrified of Harry Potter and were horrified to see the books and films in our house!
• 

  Terry

  I shelve books at work (bookstore) pro and con (vis a vis Christian thinking) Harry Potter.

  Harry is a lure to Satan/Harry is harmless fun.

  The most important issue in not Harry Potter. No.

  What is the important issue, you may well ask?

  THE PROCESS OF REASONING about whether or not to go and how it works FOR or AGAINST the persons involved.

  Meaning what?

  1.The Dad rejects Harry Potter outright because he has been told it is wrong.

  2.The mom thinks it is harmless fun and that dad's reasons are silly.

  For the child it is really important to SEE THE DIFFERENCE in how TWO CONTRARY OPINIONS are manifest in the rational thinking process.

  a.What are the claims made about Harry Potter's influence?

  b.How can these claims be verified/falsified?

  c.How many kids (as a result of reading/viewing Harry Potter) have become enslaved to Satan?

  d.Is frightening people about "danger" simply a way of controlling their mind? How do we really identify genuine dangers above and beyond being "warned"?

  e.Is parenting simply keeping children away from things which are "bad", or; is being a good parent about teaching the child to think rationally so that they correctly choose (based on verifiable facts) what is best for them WITHOUT having to resort to an outside authority doing the thinking for them?

  You see we are talking about a process of individuation.

  Wouldn't you rather have a kid that knows how to make good choices when parents aren't around? What tools has the child been given to accomplish this?

  That is my answer. Teach the child how to think and step back and watch their mind work correctly!

  Otherwise, all the child learns is guilt, power-tripping by adults and that their are two strong forces which oppose even the most innocent of life's joys.
• 

  Mum

  Thanks for that, Terry.

  fifi40: Terry's post reminded me of a book I would like to recommend. The title is The Thinker's Way (8 Steps to a Richer Life; Think Critically; Live Creatively; Choose Freely). The author is John Chaffee, Ph.D. It sets out step-by-step processes for reasoning and making good desicions.

  Regards,

  SandraC