rebel8- I will clarify this.
rebel8 13 hours ago
I would be interested in getting clarification on what is meant by this.
I never bought into the "it is playing by their rules argument". Most who say this are really pretty much faking it
it is equally as judgmental to claim "playing by their rules"
Why do you view this as judgmental? DA is their religious ritual; voluntarily participating in it is playing by their rules. This is just a statement of fact, not judgment.
when they don't know your personal reasons for DA). I did gain great peace of mind from it
I can't imagine many personal reasons. Is my list missing anything?
Expressing your feelings/beliefs to your former cultmates by use of a cult ritual (their rules).
Seeking a sense of closure by forcing the cult grant it to you (their rules).
Any variation on #2--getting some sort of catharsis by participating in the cult ritual of DA (their rules).
Utilizing a cult ritual (their rules) to cut off contact from your former cultmates.
Seeking punishment (their rules).
Anyone who wants to play by their rules is free to do so. That's the beauty of the freedom you now have.
Statement of fact says who? I would really like to know who the authority is on this???
I agree that is not necessary to DA. In fact, I was quite opposed to the idea, (even to the point of using the same rationale, (playing by their rules), until I simply realized that that my principal reason for not doing so were my own fears of others knowing my true thoughts on the WTS. Once I realized that, I realized there was a lack of honesty on my part, and I was doing others a disservice by the lack of clarity and evasiveness.
In the end, it is their choice to shun me based on my decision to make it clear that I was no longer a JW, not mine. DA is simply making a statement I am no longer JW. "Playing by their rules" is choosing to treat a person who did so according to WTS edict.
Many, many will automatically choose to assume a person who DA did so out of some innate need to conform to WTS "rules". For the life of me, I cannot imagine why that is knowing what I know now. I was out for 18 months by the time I DA. Not a single meeting, little to no association with JW, and not really concerned that some elders or others were going to try to convert me back. What I believed was that I owed the few folks I considered friends in the org. to know the truth. That is why I also put my letter on this forum and signed my real name to it.
Having said that, let me also clarify my statement on "faking it", (in the form of a question). Who do you think appears to be more under WTS control, someone honest enough to state their view publicly, or someone who pretends to still be JW who does not believe any of it? Who really is playing by WTS rules more? Think about it. It is often these same ones who are the most vocal about how much someone is playing by WTS rules is, if they DA.