I'm Ready... Thank you

by Garrett 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite3 hours ago
    You could tell them that you have disfellowshipped all of THEM for being liars and false prophets.

    Lol, Billy😃 that's what I wanted to say 3 years ago.

    When I stopped to think about friends --especially a young one-- I decided to try to awaken them. Utter failure.

    I wasted so much time (20 years in ) and now more time wasted.

    Live your life. Do whatever you need to do for closure, Garrett. Don't waste any more of your time. 🌼🐸🌷

  • whathappened
    You have my blessing. This way you will wash your hands of them. Tell them NOT to call on you once a year as instructed by the organization.
  • clarity
    Garret .... given your circumstances, what Billy said, but I would tell them one at a time individually, as they show up in my life to shun me or anything else negative. That way you can have fun with the snobs.
  • Simon

    Why comply with their rules? It's what THEY want you to do!

    Just walk away ...

  • Garrett

    Thank you all for your kind and very helpful suggestions and opinions.

    I'll mull it over for a bit and let you know what I've chosen to do :)

    The best thing about this decision is that I have all the time in the world to decide.



  • steve2

    Be bolstered by the following Scripture: "Get out of kingdom halls, my people".

    It's worth noting too that the primary utility of a letter of disassociation is, not for the writer, but the local body of elders who will use it as evidence in support of the organization's shunning policies.

    If it's important for you to play into their hands, then write that damned letter..

  • smiddy

    If it makes you feel better to DA yourself then go for it , I did , it was my way of saying I DA myself from you .


  • dozy

    I'm faded & am in the "don't play by their rules" camp , though I fully understand the desire for some sense of closure.

    I wouldn't worry about the possibility of elders pestering you. They all are too busy dealing with hassles in the congregation & workload from the society to spend any time chasing after "lost sheep". At most maybe you'll get a phone call & you can simply state firmly that you are working through a few issues & will contact them if you need any help. Make it clear you don't want to waste their time or your time discussing matters. You will probably never hear from them again.

    As far as stopping hassle from JWs socially etc is concerned , actually when you finally leave the JW bubble , you realise just how completely inconsequential they are. They are very few in number & actual day-to-day contact is almost nil. I've had one knock at my door in the last 5 years. I've spoken to "worldly" people & they all say the same. One has never ever spoken to a JW in his life ( he's middle aged. ) I've told them about the JW concept that there is this huge preaching campaign that is rocking the whole world & forcing everybody to take their sides either for or against God's kingdom and they all state that it is pure fantasy.

    What would happen with your letter to the congregation? There would be a brief vague announcement that XXX is no longer a JW & the letter would be binned or filed away. A few murmurs in the hall - a bit of gossipping after the meeting about why you left - doubtless a few wild allegations thrown into the mix. Then that's it. Everybody moves on. Frankly - nobody gives a toss. People come & go all the time. The old joke that Kingdom Halls should have a revolving door was never truer.

    In a sense - not formally DAing gives you control. The society hate the uncertainty. It confuses existing JWs. Only you know the true situation. I quite like that. If they really want to get rid of you , they would need to organise a committee , get witnesses - it's all messy. And you would "have your day in court" as it were. DAing just makes it so easy for them to kick you out.

    The one advantage of not DAing is that there is always the chance that a JW who knows you who is having doubts can contact you. I've had a few private emails / texts from active JWs who wonder why I left & have concerns themselves. They wouldn't have contacted me if I'd been DAd / DFd.

    But as others have said - entirely up to you. Chill out , take your time ....

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Personally, I'd -

    a) never want to be complicit by following their procedures;

    b) want to be able to plant subtle 'anti-Org seeds' if encountering Witnesses;

    c) never want to give the Elders closure, because they hate having potential "loose cannons" in their midst - ones who can still talk with active Witnesses!

    Your choice for your life, though.

  • Fernando

    Personally I needed to formally cut spiritual ties with the toxic and apostate ruling religious clergy class (Pharisees).

    The resulting freedom has led to a breathtaking journey and great heights I may not otherwise have been able to reach.

    I also enjoy not having to look over my shoulder, and having them run away from me instead.

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