I'm Ready... Thank you

by Garrett 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • Garrett

    Hey guys,

    So, something amazing happened recently. I recently met with an old and very good friend of mine. A while ago he DA'ed himself, thus I shunned him. I recently contacted him, we met up in town and had such an AMAZING conversation. He's such an amazing and helpful guy.

    So, since my leaving, I have been going through different mental states and now I feel ready... I feel ready to send in my disassociation letter. Here's why I want to do it, and I'd like your suggestions.

    1/ I have NO family or close friends in the organization.

    2/ I no longer want to be pestered by the elders.

    3/ I don't want to risk meeting a witness in my town and have to make up stories and be hypocritical. (I have a HUGE issue with being a hypocrite.

    4/ It's time to move on with my life and I feel like I might need this to truly move on.

    5/ I will NEVER be coming back.

    So my question is - why not DA myself? I have 0 to lose.

    Also, a HUGE thank you to everyone of you here for your support since my joining. I could have never come this far without you.

    Love and peace,


  • sir82

    Sounds like you have nothing to lose.

    Of course, some have the idea that if you DA yourself, you are "playing by their rules", and acknowledging their authority. So another option would be to just walk away and never give them another thought.

    On no. 3, why make up stories? If they want to know why they don't see you any more, tell them. What's the worst that can happen? They'd have 2 witnesses to your "apostate" statements, and they could DF you in absentia. But as you have already determined, that wouldn't affect you much anyway. And who knows? Maybe something you say would help to wake someone up before they got you.

  • freemindfade
    No family and friends in I'd do it too.
  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot
    I still would not send a letter of disassociation but simply make it certain that your fade is permanent. Tell your JW friends that you just don't want to be at the meetings. They may shun you because of that but they'll shun you anyways with the DA. At least you won't be giving the elders the satisfaction of your playing their game.

    So my question is - why not DA myself? I have 0 to lose.

    ............Image result for Don't play by their rules

  • millie210

    I am a big believer in closure - however that happens for a person.

    I can never DA because I have a huge amount of family who are Witnesses and I want to have my cake (be out) and eat it too (remain on speaking terms with my family) and so far so good - I am doing that.

    I know I would NEVER meet with elders and play by their rules so to speak but if you feel that formally dismissing them by means of a letter will help you, then why not?

  • ToesUp
    I wouldn't give them the satisfaction but you have to do what is best for you. Go for it!!!
  • Phizzy

    In your situation, I would send a letter of D.A.

    It gives closure to a period of your life that you really want to leave behind.

    It is like walking through Customs/Passport Control in a Land you are leaving, never to return, yes they note your passing, but so what ? you are going to a better Country.

    All the best for the rest of your life in Freedom !

  • airborne

    In my case I felt I had little to lose since I didn't care for most of the "friends" anyway. It was just a social club in my opinion and I was NOT a member. I turned in my DA Letter in September of last year and am coming up on my 6 month anniversary of no longer being a JW.

    Honestly the people that shun you were not really your friends anyway, even if they are good people. Why? Because you can't be your true self. That's just my two cents.

  • Island Man
    Island Man

    Because you have nothing to lose, you have an opportunity to share TTATT with other JWs in your congregation. If I were in your position, here's what I would do:

    I would do up a very friendly letter/email making it the least confrontational as possible and use it to tell all the JWs in my hall that I love them and wish them all the best but I cannot in good conscience continue to have my name associated with the Watchtower organization because of certain indisputable facts that have come to my attention.

    Then I would proceed to very mildly explain several of the most damning and undeniable bits of TTATT, supported with quotes from the bible, Watchtower publications, official Watchtower letters/documents, court transcripts, and/or other evidences. I would share things like: Watchtower's official policies geared at covering up incidents of child abuse from others in the congregation and the police; Watchtower's history of false prophecies and presuming to speak in the name of God things he did not say; Shunning disassociated ones who commit no gross sins; examples of glaring dishonesty and misquotes in Watchtower literature; etc

    It's very important however to word it as mildly as possible, making it, not so much an attack on the organization as much as an explanation of why my conscience, personally, does not sit well with it.

    I would state that my reason for telling them this information is not to try to pull them away from the organization but to prempt any rumors that may result from the elders announcing "[My name] is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses" without informing the congregation how or why this is so, leading many in the congregation to speculate and foment vicious rumors that tarnish my reputation.

    Then I would end the letter by saying that I love them as individuals regardless of their religous beliefs and do not wish to let a difference of conscience on religous matters be a basis for ending my friendship with them as I think friendship is not something you throw away over a difference of conscience on the matter of religion; but I understand and forgive them if they feel pressured by Watchtower rules, to shun me over the matter of simply not wanting to be associated with the Watchtower organization.

    I would send this letter/email to as many JWs in my hall as possible, except for the elders. If it's an email I would send it out about 1 week before sending in my DA letter to the elders. That way I let the rank and file know the details before the elders - my way of turning the table on the Watchtower's policy of having elders keep the details of JCs private from the rank and file JWs, when an individual only DAd. Yes, I would go out with a bang and I would also make it known to as many as possible that I have not been disfellowshipped for some sin but left on my own volition because of the unbearable stench of Watchtower! But that's just me.

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