Is posting on JWD "cheating"?

by Open mind 34 Replies latest members private

• 

  V

  This is how I exposed my wife to JWD:

  I waited until there was a topic posted that matched a conversation we just had about how boring and circular the meetings were. Mind you it was my wife's complaint. Lo and behold, a topic showed up on JWD and I showed it to her objectively. She read through it and initially thought I had orchestrated the whole thing. It did open her mind to the fact "apostates" are not all rabid destroyers. Some actually use a bit of finesse - like her husband.

  If she asks how you found the site? Use my favourite excuse: Google News Alerts programmed with Jehovah* and Watchtower. This allows you third party access to JWD (even if it is not always trully the case).

  Now if my wife catches me on JWD there is no lie or hiding, and I am free to occasionally point out a thing or two. Granted she does not know I am a posting member, but it did let me out from the shadows.
• 

  Nathan Natas

  You are not "cheating," you are preparing yourself to save your wife's life when the opportunity presents itself.

  On the other hand, a judicial committee might ask, "Did you have an orgasm?"
• 

  John Doe

  Interesting question. I think the answer lies in what you think you're doing. You feel guilty about posting here because you know your wife wouldn't approve. Perhaps you should determine the quickest way you can open up and share your thoughts with her? At any rate, that's a personal decision.
• 

  mavie

  It's not cheating...you are surviving.
• 

  BluesBrother

  If your wife had a really bad habit that was damaging her life and your relationship , would it be "cheating" to contact a support group that could maybe help you both?.....

  You have the right to speak to whoever you want, to read whatever you want..It is not as if this were anything directly related to your marriage. Stand firm , Walk tall ,

  My dub wife knows that I visit such sites but she does not want to know too much, although she appreciates some of the snippits of information .
• 

  Open mind

  Juni:
  
  I didn't fully explain this up front. She doesn't do the dubs alone. I'm still "active". Just an FYI.
  
  v:
  
  "Google News Alerts programmed with Jehovah* and Watchtower. " I've heard other posters mention this in the past, but it didn't click for me until you showed how it could be used as an "excusable" reason to have found something here. Thanks for the heads up.
  
  Open Mind
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Their rules that say:

  1. that you must not communicate with former members
  2. that you must not read books by former members
  3. that you should not visit internet sites that are negative on WTS
  4. that you must not criticize WTS

  those rules are "cheating" you of your freedom. You are only keeping it quiet
  for the best possible outcome for your loved ones.

  I do know that it is difficult to avoid sharing things that I learn here with my wife.
  But I know that she would feel obligated to report me, then obligated to follow
  their rules. I am doing her a favor by not telling her, and not further limiting her
  freedom.
• 

  lonelysheep

  Great posts.

  PEC-good that you're realistic and hoping, rather than expecting a change of mind if she met people here. That doesn't make a difference, in my experience. I'm in a very similar situation. Only other ex-dubs really understand why I come here.

  So, yes, all of you here are my boyfriend.
• 

  Xena

  Interesting question. I think the answer lies in what you think you're doing. You feel guilty about posting here because you know your wife wouldn't approve. Perhaps you should determine the quickest way you can open up and share your thoughts with her? At any rate, that's a personal decision.

  Good comment IMO I would also ask myself how I would feel if I found out she were keeping something like this from me and would my feelings be valid ones.
• 

  PEC

  At lunch today I was talking about getting a laptop so, we can check our e-mail when we are on vacation. The first thing that came out of my wife's mouth was, "you want to keep in touch your girlfriend." lonelysheep that must be you sweetie. My reply was that there wasn't just one. I don't know why she is being so insecure. I work at a company that is 3/4 female, if I wanted to cheat I wouldn't have any problem. Why would I come to this site to find a girlfriend? Sorry for hijacking the thread.

  Philip