Is posting on JWD "cheating"?

Open mind

The longer I read and post on JWD, the worse I feel about keeping it from my loyal-dub wife. Of course, as long as she's 98% still in the Borg, there's no way I'm going to reveal my activities here to her. I have a feeling that if it ends up taking years for her to "awaken" that I will just have to keep everything I've written here to myself.

What do you think? Is it a form of "mental cheating"? How pissed off would you be? Would you understand why the Borg culture was at the root of the secrecy?

Open Mind

LiveLife

If she was in denial about being the child of an abusive alcoholic, would you be mentally cheating to keep from her that you were frequenting a support group that helps you better cope with living day-in and day-out with a child of an abusive alcoholic? Even if this site also included a LOT of information about how horrible abuse and alcoholism is for families, society, etc.?

If not, then, no, you aren't mentally cheating.

whyamihere

I understand how you must feel. (hug)

When I first came on here, it took me about 5 minutes to tell my husband...lol. He was still 100% in. It took him a little while, but he eventually saw the light. Anyway, we all have to do what we have to do. Living in fear isn't something I am going to deal with and I'll be dammed if someone is the cause of that.

I hope you find peace with in yourself.

ButtLight

I think its better to keep quiet about it, rather than tell her. I also dont think you have to tell your mate "every" thing you do. We need our own space, and our own little things we like to do.

BFD

I don't think it is cheating, OM.

On the other hand I think you may be cheating yourself by remainig an active elder and spewing the company line from the platform.

Sorry, but ya gotta know I love ya.

BFD

Insomniac

I agree with Buttlight. A little discretion is a good thing, at least until the two of you are able to discuss all this stuff openly, without her bolting.

Maybe someday, she'll be posting here right alongside you, who knows?

Doubting Bro

OM,

I've had the same thoughts as you. There are so many things I want to share with my wife but am too afraid (similar situation with her shutting down anytime I mention my feelings towards to borg). I'm pretty sure she knows I at least look at some of these boards but for now we've developed a "don't ask, don't tell" agreement.

I do mention things I read here from time to time as the situation presents itself. I also relate newspaper stories since she knows I get Goggle alerts on JW stuff.

LiveLife has a great point. You are trying to help both your wife and your family by using the information you get from this site. Unless your using this site to develop romantic relationships, you shouldn't feel guilty.

Open mind

In my favorite fantasy world I would love to have an experience similar to ithinkisee and freedomlover. If you've never read ithinkisee's threads on getting his wife to see the light, you really should. They are incredible. Start at the start and don't skip ahead. It had me on the edge of my seat even though I didn't start reading on JWD until it was all over.

Anyway, I would soooo love to be able to introduce my wife to all the wonderful people here and flip a big ol' bird at the Borg and maybe attend some 'postafests, etc. But right now, that's just a very pleasant dream.

BFD: Thanks for the morale boost. Not!!!
FWIW, I'm working on becoming an "inactive elder". Dropping duties faster than Paris Hilton drops trou. I've got a feeling they're gonna take my elder hat away if me and my family keep spouting pro-education rhetoric right & left. Oh, and, I know you've got my best interests at heart. Absolutely no offense taken here. Thanks for telling it like you see it BFD.

Open Mind

juni

No I don't because you are researching and educating yourself about the religion. No different if you were reading books about the subject. Also you are associating w/those w/whom you like to be with just as she does.

She spends 5 hours a week alone for instruction. Then there is field service and personal study time.

This does not include travel time to mtgs. and f. service and assemblies. Then there are the special day assemblies, circuit assemblies and district assemblies.

She is an adult who can make HER CHOICE. You also have the same right. I don't remember anything in the marriage vows that says the two will become clones and make the same choices.

Juni

PEC

My wife is not a dub, never was, she does know that the dubs are a cult. She just doesn't know what being in a cult does to you. She just doesn't understand why I am here. She is not the jealous or smothering type; but, she would rather I not come here, she acts like it is cheating. I had blocked out much of my childhood and am now just starting to deal with it all . JWD is help ing me become a better person. I have tried to explain that I want to help other dubs cope with getting out of the cult. I have told her that I am trying to become a better person by help ing others. I am hoping that if she meets some on the forum, she will change her mind, anyway, I am not planning on leaving. For now to her, JWD is my mistress.

Philip

Is posting on JWD "cheating"?

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