Just reviewing my years of non-appointment as an elder.

by AK - Jeff 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  AlmostAtheist

  You shoulda read this book, Jeff: From Publisher to Elder in Six Months

  I have a copy of it lying around somewhere, it's amusing in its honesty!

  Dave
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  AK - Jeff

  Dave - I just looked at the book on Amazon. It looks quite funny.

  Unfortunately, it is too late for me. My new goal is to make elder on JWD soon, real soon.

  Jeff
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  Mary

  He looked at me like I was clueless [and I was I guess] and said, 'While that is important, the key ingredient to a good elder is cooperation with the body of elders - unity.'

  Yep. Love of the brothers and wanting to be Christlike in your approach means absolutely nothing in this cult. The only qualification they're looking for are 'Yes Men' who will not question Organizational procedures and will simply go along with what the rest of the elder body think. One of my best friends' husband was an elder for several years; one of the few really good elders who was mild mannered, non judgemental, always willing to help the underdog, kind, compassionate and reasonable. In additionl to these damning qualities, during elders' meetings when they were arguing, he would say "let's see what the bible says" which pissed the rest of them off because they only wanted to go by what the Craptower said. He put up with this shit for a number of years before he finally had enough and stepped down as a elder. They're out now and I gave them a copy of Crisis of Conscience to read which shocked and angered them to no end.

  Looking back, this became a watershed moment for me. I realized just how man-made the organization was at that point. It was all a game of smoke and mirrors and corporate jockeying for position. It had nothing to do with shepherding the flock in love. It was a worthy realization, though painful at the time. I am glad it happened that way. It aided my eventual release from the mental prison of the Watchtower, though this was not the primary factor.

  Jeff, your experience reflects Ray Franz' experience to a T. The bottom line is: If you are actually following the biblical qualifications for either an MS or elder, they'll eventually wear you down mentally, emotionally and spiritually. My brother in law, another damn good elder, nearly had a nervous breakdown over what was going on in his elder body. He finally stepped down.

  Ah yes, all will know that you are my disciples if you have love amongst yourselves.
• 

  Nellie

  I wish I could share this thread with a friend of ours - unfortunately he's still on the inside and really hasn't accepted (correct that: chooses not to really recognize that we are totally OUT - That way he can continue talking with us) - anyway, he's 48 - raised in the truth - never been married - and has never made it past MS. He's been removed and reappointed in 4 different states. His single desire in life is to be appointed elder and he'll never get there. Although every decision he makes in his life is governed by his ministry (from what job he takes to what car he drives to where he lives), his personality grates on some - he's loud. He doesn't have a glass of the kool-aid, he's got and regularly drinks from a bucket of it. The WT is the law for him - there is no separation . . . but try as he does, he'll never get there. An it's an absolute source of frustration in his life!
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  AK - Jeff

  An it's an absolute source of frustration in his life!

  Nellie - I feel for him. But frustration is the turnstile to freedom for jaydubs. At least is was for me. Not just the 'reaching out' part - that was just a little bit of it - but when several pieces of the puzzle will never fit, sometimes we look and see where we are. I hope he does.

  Jeff
• 

  willyloman

  I realized just how man-made the organization was at that point. It was all a game of smoke and mirrors and corporate jockeying for position. It had nothing to do with shepherding the flock in love.

  The only thing worse than the situation you describe, Jeff, is to have been appointed and then come to realize this (above). I was an elder for more than 20 years. I took the job in the first place because I was seeing it done badly and thought I could do it better. I spent the first 10 years trying to model better behavior, and the last 10 years resigned to the fact that it probably wasnt't going to get any better. It was only during the last few years of that decade that I realized the problems were systemic and that it was the organization and its leadership model that was the problem, rather than the particular congo I was in.

  One of my "aha" moments came when another elder asked to be removed from his position and, when asked why, expressed doubts about his faith. This was a man who would give the shirt off his back to a friend in need, the guy whose picture is next to "loving elder" in the dictionary. A longtime friend of his had been df'd in a controversial case. He was convinced the brother was misjudged and the JC handled unfairly and was deeply hurt by it. We talked for hours about all of this and he poured out his feelings. The CO was about to visit and I suggested that we approach him about it. The CO was a kindly, grandfatherly type, one of my favorites in the string of CO's I'd met. I was certain he would help this man resolve his doubts whereas I'd not been able to.

  The meeting took place and lasted about 10 minutes. The CO listened briefly as the man expressed his concerns over the way the JC had handled the case and how this had caused this brother to doubt whether holy spirit really played a role in the proceedings. The CO interupted, jumped all over him for such "apostate thinking" and scolded him for voicing these matters to other JWs. He warned him he would be df'd if he continued to voice these criticisms and told him what dire consequences were in store if he told anyone else about his doubts. He basically said "you should be ashamed of yourself" for being so weak. Then got up and left in a huff. I was shocked. The brother was absolutely devastated.

  He soon faded and moved away. I have no idea where he is to this day. I think of him often and hope he found peace.
• 

  drew sagan

  I was an MS in my local congregation before I got married. I was seen as a shining example and all the Elders really liked me. I never really did much to win over this respect, but the circumstances regarding my conversion to the JWs made them look good and so I reaped the benefits from that.
  
  After I got married I moved over to my wifes congregation. I quickly found out that these Elders wanted me to kiss a lot of ass. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I actually was considered a MS by them for a year (they never actually told me that I was though!). So in my mind I felt I had simply not done enough to become a MS in that congregation, but I think it was actually that they felt I hadn't done enough to keep the position.
  
  I'm so very glad to be past all that know.
• 

  BluesBrother

  'While that is important, the key ingredient to a good elder is cooperation with the body of elders - unity.'

  That c/o was being honest. The most useful elders, the ones who get the privilege in the Circuit and are "well in" are certainly just like that. I helps to have a skill in building, or contacts in the Town Planning office, or some other thing that you do not pick up at Pioneer School .

  A B of E is a macho boys club. You must be one of the boys and know who to agree with. I was not the most popular member, but I survived for a good many years . Some of the best men I have known are ex elders - those who quit or were were removed. Various reasons may have been given but the real reason was that they were not "Company men" . The funny thing is that the ones I am thinking of are still very much in the Borg, just happy to leave the politics to the others.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  You shoulda read this book, Jeff: From Publisher to Elder in Six Months

  I saw that book advertised when I was looking for books to set me free. I didn't order it
  only because as a starting fader, I wouldn't have been able to share it with JW's who
  would "get it" and laugh with me, so the cost would have been wasted.

  I will ask on PM if you don't answer, but my understanding was that it reads like a
  total joke but tells you to take it seriously. Example- buy a minivan for field service,
  marry a babe who loves working with others and have her work with the elders, buy
  dinner for the C.O.. Is that what the book is, a joke to take seriously?
• 

  Nellie

  Jeff - I hold out very little hope that he will ever see the light. He is truly a contradiction to himself - a nonconformist who can only conform. I know that sounds impossible, but it's him.