Lazy teenager....need help before I lose it!!!

snarf

I have a teenage daughter and she is VERY lazy. We have to get on her constantly to get her room clean, when asked about her progress, her answer is always"I am working on it". Then when we check, it is usually worse than the day before. We have removed all video games, t.v.'s and even books, but still no progress. I went through her clothing with her and made her get rid of 3/4 of her clothes because she threw them all over the floor and I was sick of washing clean clothes. She takes it upon herself to go to the swimming pool all day and not call and tell us where she is. My hubby works 7 days and I work 5 very long and physical days. What can we do? Any suggestions would be helpful. Grounding doesn't work, taking away priveledges don't work and she just ignores them most the time cause there is nobody home during the day to moniter. She leaves empty pop cans everywhere, she is just becoming very disrespectful and over sloppy. We have tried to reason with her, but it just goes in one ear and out the other. We have tried yelling...same thing. Nothing is working here. Anyone have any suggestions here? I have even gone to the extreme measure of threatening her with Kingdom hall attendance, but I can't wish that hell on anyone, plus it would just backfire anyway...lol.

She is too young to get a job yet, and although I could take her with me to work, she would hold up my schedule so I would have to work even later. I have no family or friends close by to help out, plus they all work as well.

Please, if anyone out there wants to write a nasty comment, pleaese don't. I have raised this girl on my own for the past 8 years with no child support or assistance. This has happened suddenly over the past few months, just need some input from experienced parents out there.

Thanks!!!!

looking_glass

I will tell you what my mother did when I left my clothes on the floor. She would scoop them up and hide them. Till one day I only had one outfit to wear and then I was in trouble.

snarf

Good idea lookoing glass, we will try this with the clothes issue and see if this works.

Abaddon

First of all, never make a threat you will not carry out.

Second, if this is new, why?

It can't be great for her at the moment; probably (no matter how far it might be from reality) she feels you're always getting at her.

Say to her how you feel you must always be getting on her nerves, but in the past few months the way that she's behaved has changed, and that maybe it's a good idea to talk about things and try and sort it out, rather than getting locked in a vicious circle where no one is happy.

Paralipomenon

If the problem is her not taking the time to do it, could you ask once, then follow up with her in X minutes?

From your description I would guess that you ask her to clean her room while you're at work, then when you come home it's still messy?

While it is extra work for you, I'd suggest the first thing you do when you get home, is check her room. If it isn't tidied, then call her up to do very specific things.

"Put the clothes in the hamper"
"Pick up all the pop cans"
"Make the bed"

If the room is a mess and you tell her "clean it up" she might not know where to start. Giving specifics and waiting there while she does them corners her into cleaning.

Yes it takes time, and no doubt you're tired too, but hopefully you will start to create a habit.

What are her reasons for not doing it?

snarf

Abaddon....we sat down last Saturday night with her for 3 hours and just talked about her life, what is going on and how she is feeling. She comes to us with alot of things all the time, she knows she can talk to us. We tried to explain to her that with both of us working long hours and physical jobs that she would need to help out with housework, mainly just pick up after herself. We told her she would get an allowance for her help as well for motivation. She simply just doesn't care. We do follow through with our threats, that is why no t.v., video games, books and limited clothing to wear.

snarf

Para,

sorry you have a very long name...hehe. That is an excellent idea. I will try it tonight and follow through the rest of the week with this. I have all night to watch her clean, no skin off my back. Awesome idea...thank you thank you thank you !!!

bigdreaux

one of the few things i agree with the bible on, is a good ole' ass whooping. not a beating, but, a whooping, even if she is a teenager. i told my dad the other day i used to think he was such a jerk for spanking us, but, now, as an adult, i'm glad he did. we weren't abused, and i deserved every ass whooping i got, but, it made me respect him more. until, one day i got bigger than him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

Anti-Christ

Does she feel appreciated in the family? maybe she does not care because she feels like no mater what she does, she will be criticised.

Paralipomenon

~sorry you have a very long name...hehe.

If you tell me you took your name from Thundercats I may just worship you for a day or two ;D

Lazy teenager....need help before I lose it!!!

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