I guess it's time to add this sad development to this thread. Andy and I are okay with this decision:
Andy is in a difficult recovery from his accident and breakdown. He is unable to cope with any un-needed stress in his life. So, though we love each other dearly and always will, we have decided to be fond supportive friends, rather than a couple.
I have a grandson to raise. He's eleven years old and has started into puberty. He has normal emotional and developmental challenges with this and he's still in mourning from all the losses and changes. I am recovering, but the grief process is still very much with me. When things go wrong for us, it's very painful for Andy. So, we have worked things out so as to add the least amount of pain to his already very painful situation.