Been "worldly" for 4 months now (page 2)

Quandry

Here is some motherly advise. You are going to dangerous places. Diseases, possibly deadly ones, sexually transmitted, await you. Worse yet, some of the characters you describe are not above using date rape drugs, or worse, when they get you alone. You will end up feeling very bad about yourself.

Please slow down. Freedom does not mean running headlong into whatever comes your way. Yes, please, get a hobby. You were not encouraged to do that in the borg. Get your education. Learn to play a musical instrument. Travel. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF AND PREPARE YOU FOR LIFE IN SOCIETY AT LARGE. As you are doing these things you will meet many new people, and form new friendships.

LeslieV

There are very good men in this world, but you have to think were you would meet them. I do not believe hangin at bars is always it. Do you like to ride bikes, rollerblade, go to the library? Also, I have meet so many men by doing charity work. You know as a JW this was never encouraged, but think about it...individuals that are willing to give of their time to help others usually do this becasue they are caring people. I began doing 5K runs that benefit certain causes I think important.

Find out what is important to you. Again we were really never encouraged to "find ourselves." Who are you, what do you want in life, where are you going? You have to know yourself, before you can bring a healthy relationship into your life. Also, have someone you care into your life because you WANT someone, not because you NEED someone. Give yourself sometime. You might have left the borg, but the borg has not left you. Being a woman in the JW religion you are brought up to believe that you NEED to have a man to feel complete. Find your own completeness first.

Glad you are with us, and keep us posted.

Leslie

rolling rock

Holy cow some of you make it sound like all of us men are just assholes. It's not true...

OnTheWayOut

Holy cow some of you make it sound like all of us men are just assholes. It's not true...

Well, there are great people out there. There are great men ready to be found by great women.
Notice where she found some people, and why we sounded a warning:

Last night, I went out to a bar/arcade type place and I met some new people.

A 21 year old girl walks into a bar, and wants to meet people. She need to be worldly-wise
to do this. If she was hiding in a fundamentalist cult religion, and suddenly found her
freedom, she's a naive target for men. That's just the way it is. "Let me pay for the drink, dear.
No strings attached, it's just a welcome drink on me. Sure, I will watch your drink while you
use the washroom. You don't feel good, let me drive you home."

Your suggestion of having her brother help her learn how to be a better judge of people- excellent.

restrangled

like there's a hole in my heart. I feel a shallowness that fills me-there's not that deep warmth and purpose and strong core I felt as a Witness when everything had an answer and it was all a matter of time till we're in Paradise.

Wordly One....you can rest assured that the hole that you fill in the future may not come in the form that you can identify, label or predict at this particular juncture, but maybe that is a good thing. The journey of life is spectacular.....it takes many twists and turns and is full of growth, happiness and disappointment. Unless we are fully alert and embrace it, we can often miss the real lessons to be learned.

Billions of people who have had productive, successful, moral and happy lives would look at you cross eyed and scratch their head if you used the term "worldly".

"Wordly" is just a buzz word that is used by the WTS to try and seperate themselves from mainstream society. It has no real meaning other than what you give it.

My 23 year old son met his current girlfriend at college. She is terrific. In the past, his least appealing "relationships" were girls he met at bars.

It works both ways. College may be a good place to meet young men with goals and aspirations that better allign with yours.

r's hubby

carla

Sure, I will watch your drink while you
use the washroom. --- Never, ever leave a drink at the bar! No matter who thinks it's unclean to bring it into the bathroom. geez, I thought everybody knew that, my mom was telling me that 20+ years ago. If you leave a drink to go dance and leave it with a friend who is an airhead and doesn't watch it for you, order a new one. My mom told me stories of people slipping things in peoples drinks when she was young, this is not new. Though I do think more prevalent due to accessibilty of drugs.

jaguarbass

Its, a jungle out there. If I was looking for a high caliber person, I would be suspicious of people I meet in a bar. Someone who has to chemically alter themselves, that would be a red flag to me. At least initially. You both are looking for a quick fix. Quick fixes tend to be shoddy. If I was looking for someone with some quality and substance, I would consider an on line dating program. You can do a lot of screening before you meet Mr. Goodbar.

If you were attracted to somone at the hall, there is a good chance you were on the same page regarding a lot of other issues besides hormones ane pheramones. Outside of the hall, your taking on the whole species.

I guess theres really no big deal the guy at the bar who told you he would kill for money was wearing his resume on his sleeve. You can be thankfull for that.

And the second fellow he probably figured why buy the cow if I can get the milk for free.

Sometimes life is not the destination, its the journey.

nvrgnbk

Trust your instincts sis! Your brain is constantly trying to protect you. Oftentimes, myself included, we don't want to hear it.

Handsome Dan

Hi Monster welcome to the forum, congratulations on your courage to leaving this Mind Controlling cult, your on your way to personal self improvement

I've read your post and I've had to say that I have empathy for your situation, it's especially difficult to find clean living wholesome up right people in your age group

there is the so ever apparent rebellious attitude with people with in your age, there are the good apples with the bad. Make it your stern objective and agenda to live a clean and

wholesome life and to find these who think likewise, it's not really too difficult if you make an effort. One place you might find good people is collage and universities or community leisure

events, perhaps even health clubs. people that drink, smoke or do drugs even on a leisure level are not the people to become close to, trust me I've been there, so don't waste your time with

those individuals it's just not worth it. You'll soon find that you'll will be admired and respected by your peers and even those older and mature adults. a compliment to your personality and

character. Do come back and post some questions here if you need some help on some issues there are a lot of wise goodhearted people here who can be very helpful.

Best regards....... H.D. the monkey.

PS............... by the way do not consider yourself a worldly person now, consider yourself an intelligent, considerate and wholesome, thats the identity to wear

bernadette

thanks for coming back to tell us about your experiences and how you are doing.

Your brother is right about the adjustment process taking time and this is a major adjustment you are making. As Jag said the world is a jungle - everybody jostling for their say in life and sadly sometimes focusing on themselves only - but I think that in time you will develop your own intuition about people and places and you will grow in confidence. Remember that whereas in the past all the decisions and choices were made for you but now you have the opportunity to make your own, that's empowering but at the same time challenging. I think you can meet the challenge.

bernadette

Been "worldly" for 4 months now

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