update on my divorce situation

by depressed 62 Replies latest jw experiences

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    CONFUCIOUS SAY: She who happy, have no need to write bitchy, gloating letters to ex-wife.

    Other than that, I agree with Odrade. Somebody had to say it.

    P.S. Twins at 46 will be the best revenge.

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    Yes, I can be quite mean when I'm disgusted by someone's behavior. You are the one who said you divulged the secrets of other people not even involved in your little divorce mess, in some ridiculous attempt to get back at your ex and the other woman. Revenge is one thing, deliberately spreading personal information on innocent people in such a way that it could hurt them is wrong, wrong, wrong. No matter what you say about not being able to use it if she hadn't said it first. YOU escalated. YOU did damage to innocent people. THAT is what I object to, that behavior is despicable.

    But if you want to keep doing crap like that, and damaging innocent bystanders like your ex's new woman's co-workers, in some vengeful attempt to prove him a liar, then so be it. Says a LOT about the type of person you've become. Did you learn that in your 10 years of pioneering and 5 years at Bethel too? Anyone's life is fair game as long as you can destroy the one you're angry with?

  • lola28
    lola28

    Odrade has a point and I'm surprised no one else called you on your behavior before she did. Clearly his family holds a very low opinion of you, and I think it might be because you are acting like an unbalanced person. It is time you moved on, nothing you do will change what has already happened. Honestly if this is how you behaved while married it's no wonder your husband left you.

    Lola

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Well, I know you will do what you will do, but....it seems that you are beginning to make a spectacle of yourself and will soon lose self-respect. Do you think that you will win this man back? You will not. Time is evidence of that. What you will do is end up bitter and will not have a life of your own.

    It is time to salvage what dignity you have left and move on. You can do it. You can overcome. Don't let him think he is so important he can still rule your life. Don't let her take any more of it.

  • depressed
    depressed

    Odrade - what secrets about what innocent people? I'm sorry but I don't recall what you're referring to. Maybe you've misunderstood me.

    The only thing that I did was forward the blog to his workplace, which consisted of 5 people. According to the website marriage builders, you are supposed to let everyone know of the affair. As for mentioning the gay guy, well, that was already public knowledge, and I didn't say that he was gay, all I said was something along the lines where my husband didn't want to accept a couch that the gay coworker was offering him because it might have had an inkling of ass sex. lol

    So, Oldrade,

    I'm supposed to seeth in anger, and feel very neglected, all the while "protect them" by being confidential? Oh, no honey, YOU can do that when your boyfriend/husband cheats on you, but I didn't and I don't have the least regret of doing so, and what's more, if I could rewind back time, I wouldn't have done anything different.

    Call me unstable, or any other name that you wish, but I've reacted very normal for a hurt woman, and frankly, I'm tired of hearing people like you preach the self rightousness when you yourself have never gone through what I've gone through, and frankly, you really have no clue.

    Also, please realize that his whore has been harrassing me at work to try to get my boss to fire me. Correct me if I'm wrong, by why the hell would the whore want to have contact with me? She continues to send me emails - AND those emails, I forward right to his self-righteous parents. That was a VERY good thing that I did, since after I forwarded the emails to his parents, she stopped harrassing me.

    Get a clue, if anything, the parents and my ex husband should thank the almighty that blogging and forwarding a few emails are all I"ve done. Do you really really think I've done wrong?? I mean, like really, have you ever heard of Betty Broderick?

  • snarf
    snarf

    Depressed,

    I have been where you are now, and I KNOW your pain and also still feel the pain as I read through the posts. I have been in your situation, where revenge and enlightening his family and freinds was my only goal in life. Then, one day I woke up. The only one I was hurting was myself. Honey, you need to move on and let go. Get a good worldly friend to go out with and get smashed and dance the night away. Forget them!!!! Believe her when she writes that they all sit and laugh about you...cause guess what...THEY ARE!!!! I am only saying this, cause I lived in your shoes for a year myself with my ex and his family. If she sends e-mail, copy them, file them for your lawyer and delete them. Do not forward anymore to his family. Do not talk to him or his family. Any further communication can be through your lawyer. Time to get tough here girley and stop being the victim.Do not allow yourself to be the victim anymore, or to be made the fool.

    Written with love and compassion, not to be hurtful,

    Snarf

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    Your words:

    "So I composed the online journal and forwarded the link to his co-workers, so that they can all see that he's involved with the older woman there. In the journal, I spilled out all of the office secrets, including who's gay, etc, and I copied and pasted the love emails that the other woman wrote to my husband, and forwarded the link to his entire office."

    "All of the office secrets." Get help. You're sick.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    BTTT. I want to mark this so I can read it on Monday.

  • dawg
    dawg

    To all... please try and be nice when offering advice.. damn! The gal may be doing the wrong thing but is that any reason to blast her like a damn cannon? I agree that she needs to let this crap go, but damn!

  • LeslieV
    LeslieV

    I am very sorry that you have experienced such pain by your husband. I do know where you are coming from. I and my husband had been pioneers for over 10 years, living where the need was greater etc. In fact they were considering using my husband as a temporary CO. That was what we were working towards, when he has an affair with another pioneer sister who was supposed to by my friend. In fact I had just gone out in service with her the day before he began his involvement. I know the utter feeling of betrayal. I was so mad I wrote the the GB, here I felt like I was being disciplined by his behavior. We had to leave our assignment, he was no longer an elder and pioneer. Because I am a woman I could not fulfill the dreams that I had of being in the curcuit work. What did the brothers write back to me.....Leave it in Jehovah's hands.

    It takes time to heal, and the feeling that when you are innocent someone needs to pay is normal. What you need to understand is that there is nothing that you can do in anger that is really going to make you feel better. It feels good for a moment, but remember what you do stays with you for the rest of your life. He and this woman deserve each other, you are to good for them. Give yourself time to grieve for what you lost. It isn't only the grief of losing your marriage, it is losing a dream. The dream of living forever with someone of your choosing. HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU!!!!

    Leslie

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