How polite are you?

by JH 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • JH
    JH

    Often I'm following someone into a building and entering the same door, and most of the times, the person in front won't even try to keep the door open so that it wont close in my face. I never do that. Knowing that someone is right behind me, I'll even wait a second or two and hold the door open for that person. I guess it has to do with being well educated

    How about if you're in a bus and someone older, or a female, has to stand up, while you're sitting down. Will you get up and offer your place to them.

    I know some people who were nice to others and it turned against them, and the person standing said, no thanks you don't have to get up for me. I can stand up, I'm not invalid you know...sometimes, making you look stupid for even asking.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    I always hold the door. I don't think it's so much based on education as consideration though.

  • daystar
    daystar

    Good idea to change the subject.

    I think it's a regional, cultural thing. We hold open doors for everyone around here. It would be rare for someone not to.

    I don't know that it has anything to do with the level of education, unless you think Texans generally are better educated than Canadians.

  • free2think
    free2think

    I always hold the door for other people, and I usually check if there is anyone coming, even if they're a bit further away, and wait for them. I think it's just good manners to do so. Although it's not usually returned.

  • JH
    JH
    level of education

    I meant what your parents taught you to do, and the example they gave, I didn't mean any schooling degree...

  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    Very, thank you so much for asking.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Hello all,

    Thank you for the topic JH,

    Politeness is of supreme importance to me. As abandoned said, it's all about consideration. It's a fine way to show that you respect the dignity of total strangers because they are your human brothers and sisters. Some are oblivious to polite gestures, but most respond in kind. I firmly believe that good manners, when displayed consciously and heartfeltly(is that a word?) and not simply to satisfy protocol, are contagious. Tipping is also included in this.

    May you all have a pleasant day,

    Nvr

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    I usually hold the door for others - or open it for them - or whatever. I will even wait a bit, if I see someone coming, and they are a ways off. Especially those with things in their arms, using a walker or cane, etc. Gender or race does not matter. We all need to help each other.

    For me, it also expands to other areas. I also say 'Please', and 'Thank you' when dealing with others. Even waitresses. I.E. "May I please have another cup of coffee." *pours coffee* "Thank you."

    I also say "Yes ma'am" and "No ma'am". I did this even to my daughter. I think that setting an example helps the younger ones.

    I have noticed that the city here - as it gets bigger - there is less and less politeness extended by folks. It's when I visit the smaller towns here in Texas that I again see politenesses return - as the locals are usually very polite. Old or young.

    Education? Not sure if that has anything to do with good manners.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • J-ex-W
    J-ex-W

    Actually, this is kind of a funny topic for me, because I AM in the habit of holding doors open for people just behind me or even allowing them to go through first, if they're close enough to do so unawkwardly.

    What DOES get awkward is, sometimes I'm not sure when it's a man--especially an older man--if it's more polite for me to lag a few seconds to see if he initiates opening the door first (as used to be the custom). Some men, older especially, still expect this--in which case, the polite thing for a FEMALE to do would be to give him time to reach and open the door first.

    Does anyone have any feedback on this? (Or should this really be a new thread?)

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Hello J-ex-w,

    Some men, older especially, still expect this--in which case, the polite thing for a FEMALE to do would be to give him time to reach and open the door first.

    That's exactly the right thing to do. I'm not sure that doing otherwise would be impolite, but by doing as you've described your giving the gentlman the opportunity to feel chivalrous, thus setting up a potentially pleasant moment for all participants. Sometimes, such a brief moment of shared kindness is enough to turn the mood of the whole day around.

    Without kindness and consideration we're animals,

    Nvr

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