My plan--fully revealed

by Junction-Guy 149 Replies latest jw friends

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  Q. Bert

  I do mean full respect to both of you as you continue to work toward a more common outlook. The "vacation" I'm referring to is from your husband, in this case. That's why I use the term "work vacation". Perhaps it's a different perspective from what you are accustomed to.

  I am glad that you, Amanda, are happy working as a cashier at WAL*MART, whether it's the work or the company or the friends you've made while working there. With the responsibilities you have with your grandmother, it appears that you are back to at least 2 jobs, even if at least 1 job may not be paid in the formal sense. And, even by this thread (no pun intended), you are now making time for the "us" and perhaps the "me" in your life as a couple (you and Dave), even if it's still more like just a couple of good old friends.

  There is a saying: Faithful in little things, faithful in much. So even the "petty" things such as sharing in the decorating of a house are important. It makes it a home, your home. Sharing in the decorating is a very real part of sharing in the ownership of one's space. You may even share in decorating where you live, and some of the other places where you enjoy spending time. So, naturally you'd feel more at home there. You've made contributions there that everyone who enters can acknowledge, just as you have here on JWD.

  — I wish you each continued success in your personal lives, both in your inner space and the space you share with others.

  I am Q. Bert, after all.
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  bernadette

  (((((((((junctionguy)))))))))) ((((((((((amanda)))))))))

  Whether you decide to get back together or remain separated - I just want to share with you something I read recently - found it very comforting

  'NOTHING OF VALUE IS EVER LOST'

  love to you both

  don't let guilt get in the way - if you need counselling find a professional counsellor

  bernadette
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  Q. Bert

  http://www.truthbook.com/stories/dsp_viewStory.cfm?storyID=236 contains the story with that title, submitted by a Paula Thompson.

  It finishes with this interesting line: "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."

  I wouldn't normally put an ant and any of us in the same context, though in this case a google search of the one phrase turned up this line which I find interesting. By the way, I don't recall if either of you have discussed how God currently fits into your individual/shared perspective as a married couple, or in your daily life. Perhaps God is still qualifying each of you for the vows you took so many moons ago.

  — Turning over some more stones on the garden path, perhaps. I am Q. Bert, after all.
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  JWdaughter

  Does being attracted to the same sex in a non-sexual way mean one is gay? I am not trying to be argumentative, and am fully in support of whatever decisions are made here if it truly makes folks happy. HOWever, does admitting that that you find another person attractive mean you have sexual feelings? I think Angelina is gorgeous and sexy and intriguing, but I don't want to sleep with her (eww). I can understand why a guy would, but she is an attractive person to me. Maybe women have an easier time admitting that. . .maybe our society is so afraid of homosexuals that men are afraid to admit that other men are attractive for fear of being labeled homosexual. And perhaps, once fear is gone, all those years of being labeled as such in a somewhat homophobic society makes a person think they have tendencies in a direction that they don't really-they just don't know where to put the feelings that they have. Loving people is a good thing-any person. Being sexual is different that being attracted. Maybe I am naive, but I have one friend who has decided he must be homosexual and I just don't buy it. If anything, I think he is asexual with a great and deep love for other people. He can put his love for females in a place that is comfortable for him, but the same friendship with men confuses him. He has only had one homosexual relationship and seems mystified by what led up to it, but still considers himself gay. I have talked to him for hours, listening and I think he is just not a sexually inclined person. But that is not really allowed or acknowledged in our society unless one becomes a priest, and then everyone assumes the worst about you anyway!

  If I have offended, please forgive me, I am just being honest about my feelings. I know there are truly gay people, but I think that in that lifestyle are some kind and confused people that could just as easily be married with 3 kids, but kind of wonder why. I know there are 'hetero' people that are in reality just as asexual.
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  onlycurious

  I don't know your story as I am relatively new here but I found your post very interesting.

  I myself has struggled with my thoughlife for as long as I can remember. I don't consider myself bi-sexual. I am human. But as a Christian I have been torn inside because of these thoughts. I'm not sure when it all started but at a very young age I was very sexually curious and knew about (and participated) in things that I have absolutely no idea how I knew about them. My sister and I have never sat down and gone into detail (it would take a few drinks) but we both suspect sexual abuse based on behaviors as children. Quite honestly, as an adult I have some real hangups.

  Anyway, I was speaking with my husband in the car the other day about transexuals. Oh man, you don't even want to know where he went with this one. But, he did make one very interesting comment to me. He said, "We are all human. We all struggle with our thoughts and desires. I don't care how macho a man is, they can't tell me they haven't thought about sex with another man. The same goes for women. We are all the same and we all struggle inside. It doesn't mean we are going to act on it."

  Boy, did I ever have fun with that. He didn't want to personalize it for himself but I have to admit, that was the most freeing comment I had heard come out of his mouth.

  By the way, many women get "crushes" on other women but it isn't necessarily in a sexual way. I know I have over the years and I certainly didn't want to sleep with any of my friends.

  Mr Junction - you may NOT be gay. You may just be in touch with your feminine side (just kidding) . I encourage you to get counselling and sort things out. I would also suggest surrounding yourself with solid Christian teachers who are going to lift you up and come along side you as a brother. Run from those who are going to tear your up to shreds as a person. Jesus would not have done that.
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  Q. Bert

  An interesting article is found in the February 2007 Awake!, entitled Young People Ask... Homosexuality — How can I avoid it? (pages 28-30).

  Page 29, paragraph 2 makes these observations: Regardless of the cause, the important thing to realize is that the Bible condemns homosexual acts. Thus, the person who is struggling with same-sex desires is presented with a reachable goal — he or she can choose not to act on those desires. To illustrate: A person might be "disposed to rage." (Proverbs 29:22) In the past he may have freely given in to fits of anger. After studying the Bible, though, he becomes aware of the need to develop self-control. Does this mean that he will never again feel anger welling up inside him? No. However, because he knows what the Bible says about uncontrolled anger, he refuses to succumb to his feelings. It is similar with a person who has felt attracted to others of the same sex but who has now come to learn what the Bible says about homosexual practices. On occasion, an improper desire may still present itself. Nevertheless, by heeding the counsel of the Bible, the person can refrain from acting on that desire.
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  Q. Bert

  The article I just quoted from contains the following four steps: (1) Throw all your anxieties upon Jehovah in prayer, confident that "he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22); (2) Fill your mind with upbuilding spiritual thoughts. (Philippians 4:8), Read the Bible daily; (3) Shun pornography and gay propaganda, which will only fuel wrong thoughts. (Psalm 119:37; Colossians 3:5, 6); (4) Seek out a confidant, and talk to him or her about your thoughts. (Proverbs 23:26; 31:26; 2 Timothy 1:1, 2; 3:10).

  The article includes this sentence in its final paragraph: All of us battle wrong inclinations at times. (Romans 3:23; 7:21-23).

  I personally have carried this magazine around in my pocket since the day I got it. I was fighting another addictive thought pattern. Many, no doubt, are helped, even as I am, by articles such as this. Hopefully, it will appear online at http://www.watchtower.org/e/search/search_e.htm. There are other articles on various aspects of homosexuality, just not this one yet.

  — I am Q. Bert, after all.
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  Junction-Guy

  Thank you all for your advice and experiences, I believe I need to take a break from this thread for a little while and regroup my thoughts. Also I need to talk with Amanda more on the phone, instead of just the board.
  
  
  Thanks,
  
  Dave
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  carla

  Qbert, you must be truly insane or completely insensitive if you can possibly believe the wt can be of help to anyone who has suffered at the hands of the wt and their policies. Go to the abuser for help? insanity.
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  Q. Bert

  As imperfect humans, we all need empathetic, but firm, responsible counselling. The best counsel comes from our Creator, who designed us after all, in His image. Some may abuse Bible counsel, but the Bible counsel itself is still valid. — Q. Bert