I dropped the BOMB, but it missed???????!!!!!!!

by Schism 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Bombs are renowned for missing their intended target.

    They are rather crude, inexact and impersonal as far as weaponry goes.

    The bomb has a place, in warfare, though more often than not the word "overkill" comes to mind.

    The bomb conjures up the harming of civilians or their life structures/supports in order to send a message to or about their form of government (or belief systems), the insubordinate or uncooperative "enemy".

    The message is often lost on bleeding "innocents".
    Except perhaps to see "we're at war".

    It would seem the bomb is often dropped out of fear, frustration, fatigue, itchy trigger fingers (impatience) and lack of either education or creativity in securing mutually beneficial agreement in areas of conflict.

    The bomb can seem appropriate at times, for instance, when the "enemy" outnumbers the "good guy" and interests do not appear to allow for a war of attrition or injury and abilities render one on one battles impractical.

    You dropped a bomb alright. ;)

    For what it's worth, I've chosen to drop something of a bomb here or there too. One case in particular, finally "returning fire" with someone that seemed well-versed in the language of bombs, having dropped several themselves throughout their lifetime. It shook up a ten year "cold war" and subsequent to spending a challenging year or so engaged in and cleaning up a messy war zone, (repairing wounds and building new infrastructure) resulted in what appears to be a relatively healthy and peaceful coexistence for the past couple of years now. In the process there was a lot of learning on both sides about "war" and how to maintain this "peace".

    What didn't kill us, would appear to have made us stronger.

    Thanks for sharing your story. It cracked me up to envision your family encircling your camp and you dropping to the ground and setting up your camouflage. LOL. I'm telling you that's beautiful. Be brave and keep that delicious sense of humour! The good news is you are all engaged in the battle. Peace is possible. Know what you are fighting for. This will make success more likely. Perhaps it will help to keep in mind that Love and domination are two different things.

    You said you're not sure what next. I highly recommend the book: "Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In". There is an especially appropriate chapter in there on dealing with "difficult" people. It's worked for me (and on me at times haha).

    SPAZZIE

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    I wish you would give them the emotional honesty you are giving us.
    THAT is a far weightier truth than any amount of intellectual rationalizations.

    I wish you would admit to them that you are afraid they will choose religious domination over family love. I wish you would choose family love over religious domination too, breaking the vicious cycle.

    I wish you would write to them from your heart rather than your head. The things you are sharing with us, from the heart, are so beautiful, powerful and moving.

    I wish I would always do the same. Thanks for the reminder. :)

  • Schism
    Schism

    I replied. I didn't say anything mean to her about her or my father, but I basically had to drive it in that I don't believe the Bible is God's word and that the God of the OT is an ass.

    So, I can paste it in here for your curiousity. I really had to try to convince her that there is no chance in hell she could talk me into "loving Jehovah" again and believing that the Bible was miraculously untampered-with. Just not gonna happen.

    I wanted to say it in the least detailed way the first go round. That was because I wanted to avoid hurting her feelings (yes, her feelings are hurt by others' opinions and beliefs). Now that she is refusing to believe me, I felt like I had to explain the reasons why I don't believe what she believes anymore.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Schism, you must love her a lot to go through that much effort. In her own way, the commandos outside your door are evidence of that 'love', too. After all, they are hoping to see your cute sorry a** at paradise.

  • Schism
    Schism

    Well you know, I just couldn't see myself slapping her around with a few short, cut-to-the-bone replies. That way, she doesn't have to feel like I'm attacking her. I'm just attacking her dumb religion and fake God. Of course, she probably won't see it that way, and will be thoroughly offended. If so, at least I will be able to say that I gave my immature, spoiled parents a fair chance at keeping a decent relationship.

    If she strikes back to hurt me on a personal level (which she is fond of doing sometimes), I will have to defend myself. I can excuse her "la la land" approach to my serious email, but name-calling and such will not be toloerated and I will give her a time-out. Oh yeah, and my phone will be off. I told her no visits, no phones calls.

    So, bomb #2 has been dropped. Let's see where it lands this time!!

  • lisaBObeesa
    lisaBObeesa
    I replied. I didn't say anything mean to her about her or my father, but I basically had to drive it in that I don't believe the Bible is God's word and that the God of the OT is an ass.

    See, you attacked the Bible and God. That is perfectly ok with JWs!

    They will continue to try to save you. I mean it isn't as though you lost faith in something really important and fundamental to the religion, like the ORG or the GB, and that is why you left. That would send them into hysterics!

    You just have a problem with GOD Himself. Honestly, they are fine with that.

    That is the exactly how I told my family I was leaving so that they wouldn't shun me. It worked.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Saying "her la-la-land approach" IS name-calling. Hypocrite.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Or maybe it was the "immature, spoiled parents" part that was name-calling.

  • LovesDubs
    LovesDubs

    Mom and her commandos have to realize that this time if they go to the elders they are cutting THEMSELVES off from you. That this "act of love" they believe they are doing by surrounding your house and bullying you into submitting to their cult and failing that going to the elders with your obviously "apostate thinking" (whether or not you quoted apostate sites is irrelevant to the appearance of apostacy) will result in them never being able to be with you again BECAUSE YOU ARENT GOING BACK. I dont think mom GETS that. They think theyre doing what God wants them to but its like that Larry the Cable Guy joke where he says "they say you are supposed to shoot a horse that has a broken leg, so I shot him...and now the horse has a broken leg AND a bullet wound."

    All bets are off if they go to the elders and there wont be any "taking it back" once they do that and get the wheels of the JC turning.

    Its 1pm Eastern on Sunday....I hope you are at that movie!

    Loves

  • Schism
    Schism

    Spaz, my parent's are immature, spoiled, and like to play the name-calling game. I am not being a hypocrite. I am being brutally honest. They are VERY immature and spoiled. Because I am being honest about their traits, this makes me a bad/hypocritical/immature person? Nah, I don't think so... It's time for me to stand up for myself and give myself credit for talking to my parents in a much more mature way than they talk to me. They are spoiled and childish for calling me names for my difference of opinions.

    I would love for a JC to be called and for me to be DFed again. I won't go the the JC, but I am sure they will figure out a way to do it without my presence.

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