That is my step-daughter, thankfully we haven't seen her for over a year. 12/24/2005 to be exact, we have now had two peaceful Christmas holidays and are looking forward to many more.
Philip
Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers
by rebel8 45 Replies latest social relationships
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J-ex-W
Good post, rebel8. Don't have time to read it all right now, but definitely intend to.
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exwitless
WOW!!!! This couldn't be a more spot-on description of Little Drummer Boy's mom (my mother-in-law). Every word applies to her in exact detail. I'm impressed at the level of comprehension the author of this article has of this personality type. I usually don't read excessively long posts like this, but I couldn't stop reading it. It gives me a better understanding of what my husband and his siblings went through as children. Thanks for posting it!
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Tyrone van leyen
Gees that sounds like my family.Magnificent article!
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Madame Quixote
I am sorry to hear that so many here have experienced the same kinds of things. It is too painful to keep reading and dwelling on my momster's behaviour, so I only read a bit of it. My siblings and I got to trade places as the golden child vs. the scapegoat over the years with momster's narcissism/bpd and dad's distance. The way the Watchtower Society operates, no one ever got diagnosed until momster developed empty nest syndrome (aka. "no one left at home to pick at except hubby".
Sadly, I think my sister got the worst of it growing up, and my brother the best - being the youngest and male. Now, I can't stand to be around any of them. Last few times around, I got to see my younger sister repeating exactly the same kind of behaviour patterns with her own kids - making unfavorable comparisons, zoning out on them and then coming down on them really hard when she came out of her dissociation (or whatever the hell planet it is she's on while her kids are just being kids). She threatens to spank them constantly, (but doesn't follow through with it when I am around because she knows it disturbs me, and she probably fears with good reason that I'll report her for it).
My last straw with sister was when she threatened the baby with a spanking. I tried to calmly explain that it wasn't appropriate and that kids that age don't have the brain development to even understand why they're being hit. Her response was,"Oh, he knows why . . . he knows better. . . " blah blah blah. So Jehovah's Witnessy . . . Aren't the jehobos a big help with their inflexible ideas about child-rearing "discipline" known as "spare the rod and spoil the child"? GAWD. I could just throw up and weep a thousand thousand times for my nephews . . .
It's intolerable to be around that kind of mental horror show.
I no longer crave their attention or affection cuz I finally learned they are untreated, narcissistic and/or b.p.d. people and I finally learned they won't have any of that (love or empathy) unless I please them 24-7. With an untreated narcisist or an untreated b.p. disordered person, there's never any such thing as unconditional love. And the same is true of most of the Jehovah's Witnesses that I knew growing up. (There were few exceptions).
It's probably why I am such a people-pleaser and struggle just to get through the day without having anxiety over my performance here there and everywhere. I think the momster'schronic criticism and lack of predictability, coupled with the Watchtower/Jehovah mentality led to chronic unconscious anxiety about whether or not I would be the scapegoat or the golden child today; and chronic negativity reinforced pathological people-pleasing in me, to bask in the light of momster's skewed perceptions about who was wonderful today. One month or year you were black and the next you were white, depending on who/what triggered a split.
I could go on all day about it, if you ask me to, but I won't. I do get tired of re-hashing it.
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crazyblondeb
OMG!! That describes my mom perfectly!!!!!!!!
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Madame Quixote
Sorry to hear that, Crazy Blonde.
And sorry everyone for the rant; I've been trying to avoid bringing that specific subject up cuz it brings out so much . . . insufferable yacking in me . . . thanx for posting that rebel8. . . I think
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Scully
What I do, I do out of love!
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BabaYaga
Thank you for posting this, Rebel, I have just been discussing Narcissistic Personality Disorder with a friend!
I lived with one (as a partner) for a while, and my terrifyingly poisonous step-mother is one, also.
The only way to deal with these people is long distance, and there is no cure... BECAUSE THEY NEVER THINK THEY HAVE A PROBLEM.
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Frannie Banannie
Scully!!! That's hilarious....and SO TRUE!!!
Thank you Rebel8, for posting this. It's allowed me to finally see and admit this is my daughter's problem.
Frannie