Living Alone - Love it or Loathe it?

by Crumpet 59 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Crumpet

    Well I have been living alone now for a week for the first time in about 6 years and apart from one or two minor episodes I am really really enjoying the freedom of it. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I feel free again - a tiny bit lonely at night - but mostly I think I've recaptured that long lost spring in my step. Its early days but so far it is proving really good for me.

    Apparently more people on the planet live alone in 2007 than ever before with single person households across the UK at least being one of the fastest growing markets. Why is this? Are we more selfish now and less tolerant?

    An example: A little while ago I changed my calendar to a new month and there was a beautiful sandy desert island, palm trees, blue skies - not a person in sight. As I opened it with another lady I sighed and wished i was there and she to my surprise said that was her worst nightmare because it would mean being alone and that she hates living alone and being alone. One person's paradise is another's hell it would seem.

    So what is your ideal? Does anyone here live alone by choice or by circumstances? Or do you live with people but would prefer the solitude of having a place of your own for a while?

  • JH

    I always lived alone and I'm not unhappy.

    I can twist and turn in my bed without bothering anyone......except my cat....

  • blondie

    After years of having one or more roommates, I finally got a job promotion that allowed me to rent a one bedroom on my own. After only one month, I could have kicked myself for not doing it sooner. I tend to like my own company though, reading, studying, and doing my various projects. But I had my volunteer work that got me out of the house twice a week. I had one or two good friends that I went to movies with, took day trip with, etc.

    I didn't have to wash anyone else's dishes and I could wash them when I want. I didn't have to clean up anyone else's mess, find out that someone ate what I had in the fridge to heat up for dinner or took my last soda.


  • tijkmo

    i liked it for a week too

    hate it now

    hate it hate it hate it

  • Crumpet

    Blondie - its the cleaning other people's mess and washing their clothes that I relish not having to do anymore! I did my washing for the whole week in just two loads - i used to have to do at least one load of laundry every night - my life seemed to be about washing and ironing that never went away and now it barely figures freeing up my time to post a lot more on JWD and study my degree!

    JH - i think if I had a cat I would never even be slightly lonely. I wish I could have pets - well I have goldfish and they are coming next week but they lack the strokability factor!

  • Jim_TX

    I have lived both alone - and with my mate (the first one - and now my current wife).

    I sometimes prefer the quiet and solitude that comes with being alone. I am able to call my own 'hours' - when I want to get up - or go to sleep, etc.

    But - that being said... it is also nice to be living with one that you love, and can share things with.

    I still have 'issues' (if you can call it that) with eating groceries that we both bought... but that I feel she may be 'saving' for something or other. She always chastizes me about not eating the items... as that is what she got them for. *sigh* I'll figure it out...


    Jim TX

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I spent most of my childhood and adulthood taking care of other people. I'm tired of it.

    I lived for about seven years after the kids moved out before I stupidly jumped into another relationship.

    I've been on my own again for 2 1/2 years and can't say that I ever want to share my living space with someone again.

    I eat what I want when I want. If that means breakfast for supper who cares.

    I'm finding this goes for even allowing other people into my little sanctuary.

    Maybe that wil change. Maybe not. At this point I think I have earned my solitude.

    AND I LOVE IT!!!

  • Crumpet

    Totally empathise Lady Lee - that is how I feel too!

    Jim TX - thats so sweet - your lady sounds like a total gem everytime you mention her.

    Tij - why didnt you look into a flat or house share rather than choosing somewhere on your own - or if you have spare rooms why not advertise for someone - that way you get a bit of extra income, some company when you want and the opportunity to extend your circle of friends through someone new ...

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    I live in complete solitude and have so for the last 4 years. I've always had people around me too much, fulfilling there desires and wishes, never thinking about myself. Being alone isn't so bad. You can get much closer to your inner child and get more peace and focus, without the distractions. There's only yourself to worry about too. Nothing says it has to be that way forever either, but I feel like I have more control now.

  • lowden

    I remember a couple of years ago, lamenting with great sadness to a friend about being alone and lonely, following the break up of a relationship. Hells Bells i loved her so much!!!!

    His reply will stay with me always.

    He said, " Yes, i appreciate your position but just imagine how many people wake up in the morning, roll over, look at their partner and think, 'Oh shit i can't stand you'!! They are trapped for one reason or other with someone they can't relate to anymore and even hate". He knew of a few of his acquintances that were in a similar position.

    My new found freedom suddenly seemed quite a blessing.

    But i do think we are, as a whole, meant to share our lives with someone that we love and cherish.


Share this