another Elder's Meeting memory...

by sibboleth 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • sibboleth

    Hello all,

    I didn't mean to be so defensive, sorry. I certainly appreciate all your comments - it helps get things out from behind the veil I have been wearing for the past years.

    Here are some more answers to some questions posted:

    The elder's meeting we are discussing was held in late 1997, so the daughter is now in her late 40's...

    My first post ended with me pondering what I should so about this memory - I would like nothing more than to tell everyone I know that he is a child molester - scream it from the top of my voice - but then I hesitate - what if he truly had repented - it's now been 35 years or so since the "event" - would I now hurt his daughter more by bringing this up? Would anyone even belive me since they all think I'm an opposer or some think I'm an apostate. I've shared some of my disgust about the lies, coverups to my parents and they refuse to talk to me now... I'm sure that has spread throughout the area... what I say to them bears no weight...

    Yes, I am battling myself about all those years I was in this religion - I was groomed from my teenage years to be a big shot... my family name opened all the doors for me - I was a reg pioneer at 18, participated in several dramas, MS at 20, Elder at 27, resigned at 32, started "fading" at 34 or 35 and completely broke away from the cult at 39. Now I am 41 and still have these memories of what I was a part of - and it is difficult to write about it to you, but I now feel the need to share what I am dealing with - hopefully you can help me navigate through this.

    I have become so "lost" - I feel like I my past is for another person - I have blocked alot of things out of my mind - cannot even remember many of the "scriptural" things I used to speak about daily. I certainly question whether god exists and if he does, he surely is making it very difficult for people to know him and serve him. Not cool.

    Again, thank you so very much for assisting me on this journey. I appreciate your feedback and your kind nudges to my conscience. And I truly want you to be honest with me - for so many years I have failed to be honest with myself and now I struggle to know what it is I really want to do with my life...

    Best regards,


  • ButtLight
    I certainly question whether god exists and if he does, he surely is making it very difficult for people to know him and serve him. Not cool.

    Look at it the other way around......If it were the true religion, why would he allow this stuff to happen? They get new light on the blood issue, wheres the new light on this???? You think Jah would have lifted up that rug a long time ago!

  • Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    Good Girl or Bad Girl?

    (((((sibboleth))))) thank you for coming here and sharing your experiences. they are truly terrible, and people are just having very strong reactions to something so AWFUL. I'm sure people are not trying to put blame on you. This is just such a serious topic and it's natural to have a negative gut reaction to it.

    You've obviously had time to process this whole thing, whereas people here are reading about this particular instance for the first time. That is part of it.

    Whatever you need to do about it only you can decide. Obviously people can give you their opinions, but no matter how much you explain only you and the others in that room know all the real details. I wish you the best and I know you will do the right thing, whatever that might be.

    This just further illustrates, to me, that this is NOT God's organization.

    Have you considered talking to a licensed psychotherapist about this? They can give you legal advice as well as help you know what is best for you to emotionally recover from the trauma you have been through - yes, this is trauma. Just being raised in a mind-control group like you were is traumatic. Add to that meetings like this that you have listened to and then been forced to go against your natural feelings and not report it. It has clearly eaten away at you.

    Best to you! Talking about things here will also help you, and anyone who listens to you.

  • sammielee24

    Has anyone ever met with the woman since then? A one on one in a coffee shop with a caring individual who can start out by saying directly to her 'I have to tell you that I know what your father did to you'..and tell her that he confessed. This might be another woman or it might be yourself. My problem with this, is that if the man has grandchildren and if he suffered no consequences for his past actions, then the same assault may have happened to them. There are people who molest for 50 years and more so people should never be fooled into believing that time somehow is the cure. I'm always struck at the oddity of it all when I hear these stories of repentance. The man confessed to another group of men because as one of jehovah's witnesses he was directed by the watchtower to do so, but he didn't confess and repent as a man. sammieswife.

  • sibboleth

    Hi Sammieswife,

    good point. I do not know this daughter personally, not sure where she lives - I know she used to live a couple of hours north... by the way, this man indeed has grandchildren, several of them. He had 2 daughters and a son and I know that only the one daughter (the one he abused) is not DF'd. The other 2 children don't have anything to do with their father... why? don't know - maybe they know what happened?


  • anewme




  • greendawn

    It is easy for company men to be forgiven for such gross misdeeds given the fact that they are so useful. On the other hand I can understand that someone that comitted something of this sort may later genuinely repent about it and never repeat it.

  • anewme

    I just read Sibboleth's last comments....isnt he a wonderful man?
    Glad you are here Sibby! You just keep talking! Cause we are listening!!
    You are so right about righting the past....very difficult thing to do.
    Sometimes it is best and the more loving thing to just move on.
    We all have made mistakes. But we learn from them and keep going.
    You're OK!


  • sammielee24

    Perhaps there are men and women who genuinely do abuse or molest children and who confess and never do it again. I haven't met one but then again, most would have to confess to doing it for anyone to know and most - including this man - ONLY confess for selfish reasons. Most pedophiles remain underground until they are turned in or get sloppy and are caught. This man did not confess so that he could stop. He didn't confess apparently so that he could get himself and his children into therapy. He confessed because his leaders told him to and so that he would remain in good standing in this and the next life, it was in his best interests to confess.

    Then again, anyone can say they haven't done it, but you don't know unless the smallest victims are able to come forward and many, many, many will never do so.

    I don't know what I would do myself. If it was activity that took place within the family, then I think the family has to decide what to do but the problem becomes compound when you don't know if he took liberties outside the family. We don't know if his little girls had friends that might have been in the line of fire. Or little boys - sometimes there is no preference. I do know that little girls at 12 are not practicing mutual masturbation with their fathers but I recognize that to a troubled man, he can justify his actions by deluding himself into believing that she liked it and wanted it too. sammieswife.

  • love2Bworldly

    You want to know one of the reasons the Watchtower Society makes me so sick? They spend a lot of time in their stupid articles putting down the Catholic Church and other churches for covering up abuse, they are so sick and so hypocritical!

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