I feel bad about being a part of this...

by sibboleth 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • sibboleth

    Several years ago, approx 1995, I was a newbie elder - age 29 and was just doing the "yes man" duties around the hall. There was the overbearing PO who was the "king" of the congo and whatever he said was gospel... if he didn't like you - you were history... needless to say - I kissed his butt and moved up the ladder quite easily.

    We had another newbie elder - in his late 40's - and he was a smart man. Didn't follow the leader. He moved into our hall from the east coast and obviously had different attitudes from us midwesterners. Anyway, King PO didnt like the fact that he drove to the meetings separate from his wife and 4 girls. His explanation was that they were always running late - due to hair, make up, clothes - typical stuff that girls go thru to get ready to go out into public - no biggee to me... so he would jump in his car and head to the hall so he could be there early to take care of his responsibilities.

    King PO brought this up at an elders meeting and said that it didnt look good for them to come separate. He said the congo was talking about it and it brought into question his marriage and his ability to be the head... I looked on in disbelief, but didn't speak up.

    A couple months later, nothing changed. This great brother still came early by himself and the rest of the family followed. Now mind you - they were not late to the meeting. They just showed up 10 minutes or so before - while he was there 1/2 hour early...

    King PO brought it up again and made a big deal about things - suggested that the brother wasnt showing headship - thus didn't qualify as elder. Then he and my dad said that they had questioned themselves after recommending him to be elder due to the fact that one of his daughters - living outside the home now - had gotten into trouble a year or so previously and had to be reproved... now they coupled that with this "horrible" situation of coming to meetings separately as a sign that he no longer qualified as an elder.

    King PO went around the room and we all (we had 9 elders) agreed - me included... that he should resign. Which he did. I am so ashamed that I didn't stand up against this silliness.

    I now know that King PO felt threatened by this wonderful brother from the east - he didn't like his "liberal" mentality. This was substantiated a few years later when another brother - already an elder - from Philly moved into our congo and within 3 years - he resigned after being harassed constantly by King PO... sad, sad, sad...

    The first brother who resigned never once said anything - he swallowed his pride - always was at meetings, aux pioneered and was truly a humble servant - despite the shame that came with being deleted as an elder. A couple years ago, his youngest daughter - who had been DF'd and living an hour away - died from an allergic reaction. King PO said from the platform that nobody should go to the funeral, and not to send food to the post funeral dinner. Unbelievable!!!

    When you take situations like these and group them with the countless other experiences around the world - it is obvious to me that this organization is not God's chosen people.



  • anewme

    Oh Sibboleth! What a horrible memory to have to live with! What a monster that PO was/is!

    What sadness so many here on JWD have had to endure in this religion!

    The stories just keep coming and coming!

    Thankyou for joining us here Sibboleth and for your contributed stories.


  • fullofdoubtnow

    Wow sibboleth,

    Your po sounds as though he must have kissed a lot of butt to get his position, it couldn't have been for any Christian qualities, he doesn't appear to have any. I don't blame you for feeling bad about having been party to such things, my bf feels the same way sometimes. I guess when you're brainwashed, you will do things you really don't want to, and know deep down aren't right, just to preserve your position in the cult hierachy.

    The po at our old hall is the domineering type as well, but maybe not as bad as yours. At least you can be thankful that you are away from all that now, and won't have to be party to such things again. That is the way my bf sees it anyway.

  • avidbiblereader

    Thanks for sharing again Sibboleth, we all have many experiences like this and it shows as you stated that this cannot be God's Spirit directed org, it speaks volumns against the Holy Spirit directing these puny men with big egos.

    When you take situations like these and group them with the countless other experiences around the world - it is obvious to me that this organization is not God's chosen people.

    Well put. I seen the politics of being an elder and men shuffling for positions.


  • JamesThomas

    Welcome, Sibboleth.

    it is obvious to me that this organization is not God's chosen people.

    I find this paradoxical, for certainly the god found within the pages of the Bible can be very unforgiving to the point of murder. This sets a precedence and pattern for those who admire and follow him, does it not? How can people who worship ruthlessness, not be adversely affected? In an early time this liberal elder could have been stoned to death, and so you for going against the other elders.

    Why is it you seem to have higher morals than the god you worship?


  • return visitor
    return visitor


    I can't agree more that what happened to those brothers was a shame. I also agree that the WTS is not God's organization. However I can't agree its not God's organization because of stories like these. These things happened even among the apostles in Jesus day. The reason this is not God's organization is that they don't adhere to the teachings of Jesus. Namely that we are to love God and Neighbor. By there doctrine they make the schriptures invalid.


  • sibboleth


    Correct. Stories like these are a shining example of a lack of love....

  • SirNose586

    Wow, what a monster of a PO. As long as these type of men rise to the top, a gradual decline in membership, upcoming elders, and happiness of the members will result. Men like these will crumble the Tower, one brick at a time.

  • BrentR

    It's horrible to hear these stories but at least it serves as a flashing neon sign to all in or out of the Borg just how screwed up of a religion it really is. It can only work to accelerate the awakening of those who who are still in but have a functioning concience.

    Welcome to the forums! Having former elders is real asset to all of us here. So many more questions can be answered then from those of us that were R&F peons who were kept in the dark.

  • gymbob

    Wow...can you feel the love?

    Your story reminds me of what happened in my family a few years back.

    My sister's son, (newly reinstated), falls in love with the PO's daughter who is not baptized but raised a witless all her life.

    So they decide to get married after she gets baptized. They set a date for the wedding and she goes over the questions for baptism and is ready to be dunked at the next assembly, that happens to be the week after the wedding.

    They get married, the next week she gets dunked at the circuit assembly and all is wonderful.

    The next service meeting comes around and the newlyweds are sitting in the front row of the hall and the PO (her dad) announces that the C.O. has made it clear that he and the rest of the elder body in the cong. need to make a public apology to the rest of the cong. for attending a wedding of a NON-BELIEVER.

    The newlyweds storm out of the hall, the marriage gets anulled (sp?), my nephew never goes to another meeting.

    It gets better....My dad (who has been a elder for 35+ years) flew out from California to attend and perform the wedding, gets removed from being a elder because he performed a wedding of a non-believer! So my dad and his C.O. back in California write a 8 page letter to Brooklyn explaining the whole situation. 2 months go by, they get a letter from Brooklyn upholding my dad's removal.

    NOW can you feel the love?

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