When is it 'going too far'?

by nekone041 35 Replies latest social relationships

  • nekone041

    I'm new to the forum (in fact, I just joined about 10 minutes before starting this post), and am a new JW (I began learning and attending meetings since about November of '06). I have a question involving my girlfriend and I, and I'm hoping to find a moral answer.

    My girlfriend and I fell in love two summers ago, and we're still pretty young (we're turning 17 this year). She moved away right after we fell in love, but we decided to give a long distance relationship a shot. We rarely get to see each other. However, this passed summer, she returned for two weeks. During our phone converstations (before she returned), we were discussing how shy we were; how we both doubted that we'd even share our first kiss that summer. Unfortunately, things got a little out of control, and we commited a fornification (although we didn't go 'all the way'). After becoming a witness, I've realized my wrong and regret it to this day. She, too, is a witness and disagrees with what we've done. Not only was it immoral, but it has negatively affected our lives.

    Now, my question is, when wanting to show physical affection, when is it considered going too far (according to Jehovah, and in JW standards)? I understand that touching of any sexual body part is considered wrong. However, is passionatley ("french") kissing exceeeding the boundries? Is the kissing of other parts (neck, arms, legs, etc.) going too far?

    I would greatly appreciate your thoughts and opinions. I know I'm still quite young, but I'd like to know these things so I don't make another mistake in the future.

  • SixofNine

    If you believe the bible is god's word, why don't you consult the bible? Oh yeah, because the bible is pretty much silent on such matters. Guess you'll have to go by either your own or someone else's opinion on such things. Good luck with that, lol.

  • mrsjones5

    Oh dear. You don't know where you are do you? It's ok with us if you're here be please be aware that a lot of us aren't jws any longer or never were or will never be. But I'm sure there are people here who are willing to advise you.


  • reneeisorym

    First of all, you need to forgive yourself. If you have asked Jehovah to forgive you, he has and you need to forget about it.

    Now as the guy you should know how far you can go without loosing control. Its not about JW standards or about what the organization says. Its about what your conscience says. If your intent is to wait until marriage, you should know if you can handle french kissing and not having to do more.

    Try kissing with a door open where someone could come in at any time. Or ask a friend to check on you every now and again. That way you won't do something you don't wnat to be caught doing.

    Again let me emphasize: Its not about what rule the organization has set for you. Use your own brain and figure out the best solution.


  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Do you prefer the judgement of God or the judgement of men?

    If God, confess to him and let him forgive and heal you.

    If, on the other hand, you prefer the judgement of men, then I would urge you to do a web search for the Watchtower book, "Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock," which will tell you exactly where your Watchtower boundaries lie. Then you can prepare yourself for the Pharisaical ordeal that will result.

    Do you have condoms?

  • RAF

    errr ... nothing to add ...

    well maybe if you don't want to really get in trouble right now (think about condoms and pills) because for a young couple like you having a kid right now wouldn't be the best that can happen in the first years (sharing couple time, studying ... whatever).

    ah ... and if you love her and she love's you were is the sin? you are not playing game with her? Mariage is a costume before even in the bible they were saying the Male took a Female ... David had 800 concubines (why wasn't it a sin - because he was taking care of them - financially I guess LOL ...)

    Just be honest, don't play game.

  • nekone041

    We didn't have intercourse, and we're not going to until after marraige. Therefore, there is no need for condoms (I can control myself there, otherwise we would've done that when she was here).

    @RAF - It's a sin because it's written in the Bible as a sin. Even if we love each other dearly, it's still written in God's word as fornification, something He does not accept.

  • RAF

    What is fornication for you ?

    Did God say to David he have to marry all his concubines ?

  • RAF
    We didn't have intercourse, and we're not going to until after marraige

    So what do feel really guilty about ? (no details / just why)

  • Robdar

    God wants you to keep your hands to yourself, your penis to yourself, your lustful thoughts to yourself... And don't forget you aren't supposed to play with yourself either. Looks like you're gonna have a bad case of the blue balls but at least Jehovah loves you.

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