When is it 'going too far'?

by nekone041 35 Replies latest social relationships

  • nekone041
    nekone041

    @RAF - Do you have the scripture for that? When I said before that I'm a new JW, I also meant that I still new to the Bible. xP

    Thanks to all who've commented so far.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    "I also meant that I still new to the Bible. xP"

    Then study the bible before you start "studying" (quotes, cuz you're decidedly not really "studying") with some damn religion. "Who wrote the bible" is a good place to start.

  • RAF
    RAF

    • it's all in genesis (you've read the bible or not?)
    • and who don't know the story of David?

    I did my job to get there ... Stop following what people tells you blindly (religious or not) ... check yourself if you are really interested in the matter in being objective.

    When Paul is talking about mariage before he takes the precaution to say because of fornication (read : lust for lust or people not thinking about the the fact that it's only about sex and get in trouble because love is missing in the picture and it could be painfull for the one who loves) you better get married (means in the first place make the right choice if you get married - because you're gonna make a vow) it's an advice not a law.

    Christians are not under the laws ... they are just supposed to be nice with others Period ... there are no sin unforgivable (since you regret sincerely at least when you realise it).

    Now check (and take different bibles, cause the NWT is full of whatever makes it very difficult to understand) New standard english version sounds quite good (but that's only what I think) make your own opinion.

  • nekone041
    nekone041

    I guess you guys are right. The problem, though, is that I have a VERY hard time understanding and interpreting the Bible. I believe in a Creator, and after attending normal Christain and Catholic churches, I found more truth in the JW.

    Do you have any suggestions? If you can convince me enough, I'll take a pause on attending meetings, and try to understand the Bible myself.

    I have to go now, but I'll return within the next few hours to read your responses. Feel free to PM me, as well. Or, you can email me at nekone041@yahoo.com.

    Thanks.

    EDIT : Btw, I have 3 or 4 different translations of the Bible.

  • BrentR
    BrentR

    I can't speak for the rest of you but since this person is a minor I will stay very far away from any communications re sex. The original post is not a "plumbing" question, it's about sexuality.

    If my minor daughter happened across this forum I would sincerely hope all of you would have the descretion to direct her questions back to her parents or a school nurse/counselor.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    I am with Brent on this one. This kid is only 17 and should be talking to his parents about this. Or another trusted adult, but not strangers. Lilly

  • RAF
    RAF

    By now I don't know what to think ...

    I don't know if you are really 17, I don't know if you really need help ... or if you are playing around (I don't know)
    but if you look for help you have to be aware that anybody can tell you anything (you still rely on yourself finally)

    • you feel Christian check the bible (in being objective - it's an old book it talks about old cultures)
    • you feel human check your heart (how do you feel about what happen, was it love, was it all about sex)
    • in both cases (did you hurt anybody? Did you make any promesses just to get what you want or stuff like that? ... if the answer is no ... well get the point)
  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Dude, according to the JW religion, growing a beard is considered going too far.

    I understand that touching of any sexual body part is considered wrong.

    You know why this bugs the heck out of me? Because when it becomes okay (after you've got a marriage license to drive a woman), the intimidation of a woman's body parts doesn't go away. You're going to feel nervous as hell even after you're married.

    Touching sexual body parts isn't wrong. If it was, you wouldn't be able to touch a woman after you're married to her. It's your morals and beliefs that make her body off limits. Please get this part straight before you have your first real sexual encounter.

    Also, I would like an explanation of why other mammals don't need a marriage license to enjoy intercourse.

    However, is passionatley ("french") kissing exceeeding the boundries?

    Exceeding what boundaries? JW couples are allowed to kiss when they're courting. It's the natural jump in your testosterone that is causing the sexual arousal, and your "bible trained conscience" alarms go off. Just because you're feeling attracted to this woman, it doesn't mean it's wrong. You were created to feel love and attraction to the opposite sex, and it's all natural. Again, don't confuse attraction for sex. Attraction eventually leads to sex, but it's not the same thing.

    Is the kissing of other parts (neck, arms, legs, etc.) going too far?

    You're enjoying the beautiful artpiece of a female body. What's wrong with kissing it? Would it also be wrong for you to kiss you're cat? The only difference is the feeling of attraction, which is a natural thing to feel for someone you deeply love.

    We didn't have intercourse, and we're not going to until after marraige. Therefore, there is no need for condoms (I can control myself there, otherwise we would've done that when she was here).

    I'm going to educate you where everyone else failed... Condoms not only prevent sexually transmitted diseases, they prevent child birth. I would STRONGLY recommend you use some form of birth control after marriage until you and your new wife get used to your new lifestyle, your personalities, and your little quirks before you make things more complicated by adding a child into the situation. Condoms are a fairly cheap form of birth control, and I used them for years until I was absolutely ready to concieve a child. I'm also glad I went that route since me and my wife needed time to work on ironing out the wrinkles in our relationship and become much closer before we had our baby.

    Remember, feeling love for someone isn't a sin. Showing a person you love them isn't a sin. But if you feel guilty for loving somebody, there's something not right.

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    Welcome to the forum, nekone! So you want to understand the Bible better. This is an admirable goal, and I wish you success. What drew you to the Witnesses? What advantages over the other churches did they have?

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Now that all the niceties have been observed. I dont consider 17 to be that much of a minor. He has to in the next year register with selective services and thus be eligible for a draft ( hope it doesn't come to that.) But on to his problem. Right now you are at a very decisive fork in the road There are two path's you can take. The first is to continue to be handycapped by witness dogma and traditions of men. The second is to become your own man. I encourage you to follow the second. Now is the time for you to man up. Develope your analytical powers, learn to ask the right question's, that breaks away from the pattern of thought that enslaves you to narrow minded ideals.

    I have always said that being a witness has a way of emasculating you as a man. Right now what you are going thru is a rite of passage. Now is the time for you to experience 3 major things that will shape the reast of your life. 1st is your first love, sadly the 2nd will be your first heartbreak or break-up, 3rd and most important will be the lessons learned from this experience. One and two can vary in length, Number 3 will stay with you for a life time. Learn that life moves on and the sun will rise the next day.

    At 17 you should have one main focus in life, what you will do with the next 50+ years of your life. Think about what you want to do for your career, how you will make a living and how you will leave your mark on this world. Get a good education (yes go to college) in the field that you want to work in. Map out where you want to be in 5 year incriments and stick to that schedule.

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