Did You Overly Discipline Your Kids Because Of Being A Witness?

by minimus 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • serendipity

    My parents were sadistic before they were Jw's, however we got more beatings afterwords, with belts, ropes, bamboo switches, wooden cooking spoons, hoses and whatever was handy.

    As a result of the abuse, I vowed never to spank my child. I changed my mind when she was 2.5 - 4, because she would quite fearlessly ignore safety rules. A few swats on the butt were all that was needed to set her straight.

    I think some kids are so hard-headed that spanking may be the only way to get their attention, so I support mild spankings, as a last resort. I do think parents owe it to their kids to try several other methods of discipline. There are many books on this topic. And never underestimate the power of praise.

  • lonelysheep

    Yes, in the form of unnecessary spankings. Again, the brainwashing telling me to do something that bothered my conscience.

  • ferret

    Yes, I know I did and am ashamed of it to this day. I am a lot more tolerant to our grandchildren.

    Our one daughter always says "wow" things have sure changed since I was a kid!

  • mrsjones5

    When I last saw my mother I got the feeling she wanted to give me a whoopin...but I'm bigger and stronger than her now

  • bigmouth

    I did, especially on my first 3 (I have 6). I used to smack them so hard. I was often out of control.
    It was only after I had faded and got help for depression etc. that I realised how abusive I had been. As an MS I was struggling to keep control of all these aspects of my life and I just couldn't cope with these little people complicating things.

    I am now a big soft grandad with a LOT more smarts and a regret that I, 1)Had a ghastly example by my mother and, 2) didn't use my common sense.

  • Rebirth

    (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Reading these posts has made me break down crying like a baby; I look at my little girls (who can be impish at times) and try to imagine what could drive me to ever take my adult force and beat them. My heart aches, just aches at the thought. My dad and mom both beat me, pinched me, slapped me, kicked me, etc. and I vowed I would never do that to my girls. I have swatted their behinds and their hands when they were toddlers, but never full force and never w/anger.

    One of the reasons I left the KH was because an elder suggested I use a weapon on my 18 month old, just like he did with his boys when they were young, "and look at wonderful they turned out." I got up from the table (it was a shepherding call) and told them I had things to do. I knew if I didn't get up at that moment I actually might take the weapon and use it on his f**ing ass.

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    I think spanking was much more commen and accepted in past generations. I often got the belt as a child. Today, children can turn their parents in for spanking them. That didn't happen when I was a kid. I am not talking about a beating, but a good spanking with a belt. I think society's view has changed a lot.

    But I do think Witnesses encourage spanking. They love to use that scripture that if you beat them with the rod, they will not die. I know that I spanked my older children a lot more than I would have without their influence. Most of all, I tolerated my husband spanking them because I was supposed to be submissive. I wish I could change some of this now, but can't. The third child we had never received a spanking, I think we had evolved away from the witness ideas by then.

    All that said, I don't think a pat on the bottom or a slap of the hand is totally bad for young children, if done gently and in moderation. I would rather see a little one have their hand slapped then burned because they wouldn't listen to stay away from a hot stove, etc. Also, it depends a lot on the child's disposition. Some are much more easily disciplined than others.

    But I can't stand to see my grandchildren spanked or even yelled at. I often wish the parents would take more time with them and be patient. Easy to say now when the pressures of parenthood are over.

  • jaguarbass

    No, I didnt overly discipline my son. I disciplined him just right. I didnt believe in physical discipline. I always talked to him till he understood what I was trying to teach him. He turned out well.

  • Dansk
    Did you overly discipline your children???

    Sadly, yes!

    Thankfully, they have grown up into fine young people.

    Knowing what I know now I don't feel it is ever necessary to smack a child. There are other non-violent ways of instilling discipline.


  • restrangled

    My brothers and I were spanked a lot. My dad was a very big man and had large hands. He didn't need any weapons. We use to have to line up for our spankings and then have the further humiliation of having our pants pulled down. (It's making me sick just thinking about it) More often than not it was always for something relating to the KH.

    In the women's bathroom at the KH, a paddle hung on the inside of the door.

    With my own sons there was maybe once or twice they were swatted, and that was with a diaper on....so it was more to snap them out of it, than to cause pain. I never had to slap there little hands. They were taught "one touch" in other words they could touch something with one finger instead of picking it up. So in stores they would ask "One touch, mama"? They were so good. If I told them no touch, they knew it was hot or could hurt.

    As they got older, stronger, louder, I use to loose it and start yelling and I feel bad about it. I think the worst thing I ever did was when the 2 of them got into a fight over the computer and broke the back out of a dining room chair. I was really mad and they said "Mom, its just a chair!." I was livid at that statement, so I picked up their computer, marched outside with it and did a heave ho into the swimming pool....and then shrieked, "It's just a computer!"



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