Question for Singles: Tired of hearing the "F" word?

by Elsewhere 45 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  mzliz

  Bottom line,

  "friend" means she isn't interested. I have talked to my girlfriends about this numerous times how we know if we would F(### a guy within a few minutes of meeting him. If we feel there is potential for that or a relationship of some sort in the future, we might exchange numbers etc. but would NOT use the friend word as we know that that is the ultimate let down word.

  A woman usually knows if chemistry is there right away. I have found a lot of guys "THINK" there is chemistry there, just because you are attracted to her and feeling it DOES NOT MEAN that she feels the same way!! As you are finding out. Typically what attracts is questions about the woman,(asked sincerely) the guy being confident, and a little mysterious!!!!!!!! Look her in the eyes, and don't act desperate!

  I have no idea what kind of guy you are, Or what you are doing out there. It doesn't all have to do with looks thank god. Dressing well, smelling great, and having a sense of humour can go far!
• 

  Nosferatu

  Typically what attracts is questions about the woman,(asked sincerely) the guy being confident, and a little mysterious!!!!!!!! Look her in the eyes, and don't act desperate!

  You're one of the few women who hit the nail on the head! Unfortunately, confidence isn't something that can be faked. Women can tell the difference between real confidence, and the fake kind.

  This is the answer to "why the jerks get the women". They honestly couldn't give a shit if the woman rejects them or not. They just go for what they want regardless of what the woman thinks. The guys who let their imaginations get the best of themselves (what does she think of me) will automatically come off as unconfident because they're too concerned about how the woman is judging him.

  So, is the answer "be a jerk"? No, the answer is to find the happy medium. Go for what you want, but don't treat her like garbage.

  Being "mysterious" is usually created by the woman, not the man. Being "mysterious" could be wanting the answer to questions such as, "what's he like in bed" or "what kind of house does he live in?" A man can help get the woman's curiousity going by never giving her an straight answer (at least in the beginning). If a woman would ask me "What do you do for a living", I would answer something stupid like "I make sculptures out of pickles, and sell them to the museum". If she asked, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I'd tell her I'm married to my job as a pickle sculpturer.

  Killing desperation is basically not giving a damn whether you get the girl or not. If she rejects you, so what? There's billions of other women out there who would want to spend time with a great guy!
• 

  PopeOfEruke

  Become a Rock star!

  They seem to be able to get chicks real easy!

  Pope
• 

  SixofNine

  .
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  Nosferatu

  Ok, but if she accepts that answer, isn't it illegal to have sex with someone of diminished capacity?

  You just insulted my wife
• 

  serendipity

  Playfulness is ok, but don't forget to give genuine answers. Evasiveness gets tiresome after awhile.
• 

  SixofNine

  Sorry, didn't mean to do that. I'll edit my post.
• 

  Elsewhere

  Women... they want a man who is confident, strong, mysterious and shares all of his feelings.
• 

  J-ex-W

  At first I thought you were saying, Tired of seeming to find a connection with someone except that they keep using the "F" [expletive]-word a lot. THAT'S the main frustration I've run into since dating 'in the world.' I still don't care for profanity; although, I do some occasional 'soft' swearing but not the 'hard' stuff. Enough on that, though.

  I agree with the woman who said don't sweat the 'friends' label. Let it be what it is. Friends for now.... A genuine friendship can and sometimes does grow into something else, if there is NO pressure to pursue a timetable. Often, that's what people are really frustrated over when they get miffed at the friends label: The uncooperative timetable. They want things to progress in a predictable, proscribed manner and on a predictable, proscribed timeline. ["I want a boyfriend/ girlfriend NOW. I wanted one yesterday--so why can't it happen for me today?"

  If you really enjoy somebody on a friendship level, then spending time with them without the romantic stuff will still be enjoyable. If you really don't want to spend time with them without the romantic stuff, chances are it wouldn't have worked for you anyway--'cause you don't truly enjoy your partner at a friendship level. This isn't high school. Crushes don't make the instant bonds they used to [which used to break apart fairly quickly, anyway, as I recall.] More lasting bonds take more time and patience before they really take root. Hope this helps.
• 

  SWALKER

  I have to put in my .02......I think a lot depends on where you live geographically as to what the term "friends" means. I live in the "South" and it's the way a lot of my female friends like to start off a relationship with a guy they don't know. It's mostly just a cautionary term to allow them time to get to know someone. I have advised several of my friends to let the guys know they want to be more than just friends....so they don't end up losing them!!! One of my friends had so many disastrous relationships that she finally changed her dating plan and refused to go out with any guy that DIDN'T WANT TO BE A FRIEND. She got married to her next boyfriend....they are very happy, but it started out as a friendship!!!!!!!

  My friend changed her "dating strategy" and maybe you should look at that....keep in mind where a person is from to gauge the meaning of the "f" word....you don't want to pass up a great person/relationship!!!

  Swalker