David.
If you could be a Bible character....
by Fleshybirdfodder 35 Replies latest jw friends
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tetrapod.sapien
lol! y all totally crack me up.
but i'm with stilla in all seriousness.
satan stood for freedom of thought. satan was the one who told us we are gods. satan never lied once. satan was the first apostate, something we should all be able to appreciate here at jwd. jesus was also an apostate, to judaism, but satan was the first, to yhwhism.
that of course is borne out of our old literal interpretation of the bible though.
in the enlightened metaphorical view, satan stood for our coming of age as a species, when we realized our own natural divinity. and if you still think satan was/is a bad guy, i would like to remind you that satan and yhwh were once considered the same person.
:)
tetra
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Fleshybirdfodder
Tetra,
Let me repeat the question... If you could be a Bible character, who would you be? That's it. Start a new thread about mistaken Western morality and I'll comment. This is about having fun! Jeepers, the solstice approaches!
FBF
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tetrapod.sapien
FBF,
okay.
i choose satan. HA HA HA HA !!!
tetra
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Fleshybirdfodder
Tetra,
Since we are in cahoots, can I get a better quality blood? The stuff I'm drinking is far too oaky. Also, since I'm now convinced you are Satan; what is my relationship to you? Do you control me? Am I allowed to see other free thinkers? Will people l weep when I die? I'm but a Harlot. Why would anyone weep for a woman of ill-repute? You da boss Satan. Do tell...
FBF
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tetrapod.sapien
lol
Since we are in cahoots, can I get a better quality blood?
atheist blood is a little sharper, with hints of chamomile in the bouquet.
The stuff I'm drinking is far too oaky.
i know. religion has been allowed to age for far too long.
what is my relationship to you?
well, if you're all for misleading the nations, and persecuting jehovah's righteous people, then, i guess, you're my girlfriend!
Do you control me?
sure, if you're into that sort of stuff...
Am I allowed to see other free thinkers?
hey hey! i'm satan! i'm a free love sort of guy! go for it babe! let me know if you want company!
Will people l weep when I die?
babylonians, especially.
Why would anyone weep for a woman of ill-repute?
it might be private, but there will be weeping, i assure you. people need their harlots!
btw, it's hot how you ride your beast without a saddle.
hey! let's go screw around with Job and his family for a while! sweet! party time!
tetra
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outoftheorg
I would want to be GOD.
I would tell Adam and Eve that leaves are a conscience matter and they may or may not want clothes.
That I didn't give a rats ass what fruit they ate and if they ever saw a talking snake, to let me know.
I would tell satan to clean up his act and I would give him a piece of the action.
Once every 5 years I would stop by to see if all is well.
If they had a bad accident to not take blood. Just ring me up and I will wave that damned wan and all is well.
That sex is not a sin. In fact I get a little now and then.
Outoftheorg
The rest of what is needed I would leave up to those damned lazy angels.
Outoftheorg
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jayhawk1
The Apostle John... I just would like to know what he was trippin' on when he wrote Revelation.
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Fleshybirdfodder
HA! I'm with you J...
Let's have some fun.
And I saw, and Look! A man! With an expanding stick in his hand. And the rains fell from heaven, and there were loud noises. And something that appeared to be an ugly creature, appearing as a sea monster ate the man and the many people who crowded about him sing a song as if of the name of the beast. And the stick shrunk and the crowds went in, 23 of them and looked forward at the lights and there proved to be a disgusting thing....
Translation: A guy was holding an umbrella in the rain, waiting for the bus. The bus station was busy, and everyone was bitching about being late. The guy closed his umbrella and went into the bus and someone passed gas...
oh for the perfect drug...
FBF
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Wild_Thing
The Apostle John... I just would like to know what he was trippin' on when he wrote Revelation.
LOL! You beat me to it! That was the first thought that came into my mind, too.
Since it's taken, I guess I will be one of the high priests that burned the "incense" at the temple. Maybe I can find out what they were smoking too!