by lovelylil 46 Replies latest jw friends
Yeah I agree with those who said find somewhere else to go. My church is in no way like that. We have a children's ministry but the children are not required to go there and are allowed in the services with their parents. Yesterday we had all ages in there with us, from infants the teens.
Josie
German XJW
"Why not?"
Because that is an illogical and irrational decision to reach from that experience.
Is hubby adament on taking the kids with him?
A lot of churches aren't like that. Keep in mind they all have their own rules, though.
I attended a (moderate) Evangelical church for some time after I left JWs. There were Sunday school programs, and newcomers' children would have been offered to join them rather than the main service, but this would certainly never have been imposed. Although the Sunday school programs were usually more fun than the main service (not to mention a KH meeting), nobody would have expected people to trust their kids to perfect strangers, not knowing what they might be taught. In your situation I would have left right away...
(Btw, as I must have told already, what prompted my decision to drop church attendance altogether was the realisation, when my daughter was about to be born, that I would not want her to receive any church teaching...)
Do you all think I am overeacting?
No. NEVER allow anyone, especially a stranger, to seperate you from another family member - especially your children.
W
You are NOT over-reacting, by any stretch of the imagination. How rude and unreasoning for them to be so dogmatic and demanding about it. Who needs this kind of fascism when you were hoping for a sanctuary?
Not only are kids allowed in my favorite sanctuary, animals are, too (grin). It's a multi-species gathering! We have had cats, dogs, pythons, rats, and chickens attend while I was there. You should see it on the Feast of St. Francis. It's pretty fabulous.
http://www.paloaltoonline.com/weekly/morguepdf/2004/2004_08_25.paw.section1.pdf
There has to be something else out there... but, you know, there's a lot of crap, too.
Have you looked into Unitarian? They're pretty open.
Cheers,
Baba.
I wouldn't leave my kids with just anyone, especially a in a church until I was comfortable with them. Find another one if they're not going to allow you to get to that comfort level first.
Kwin
*sigh*
bczar
Thanks everyone for your comments. I don't think I overeacted either. But my hubby who to me still acts like a witness was like "well, he should go where they tell him he has to go". I was totally outraged by it and my son who is very shy was horrified. I let my hubby have it at home when the kids went to bed. I told him in no uncertain terms that I am NOT going to repeat the same cycle we did as Witnesses where we go in and turn over our childs life to complete strangers. Look how it turned out? No good in the least.
My kids are so traumatized by their past experiences with the Witnesses that niether wants to attend any church again. They only go for my hubby. I want to just read the bible with them at home for now and I am not up for organized religion at all. I am not against them and think they do a lot of good and some need the fellowship. But I don't need it in my life right now and prefer the kind of religion where I can approach God anytime, anywhere and read from the bible when I want to. I find just spending time with my family and looking at nature to be fulfilling spiritually sometimes. I think my hubby and I do have to find a happy medium though and he really feels he needs to attend church services and wants to do so as a family. I wish he would just read the bible with me at home but it always ends in arguements.
I think my hubby still needs someone to tell him what is right and wrong. And no matter how I see the scriptures, he sees it differently. No matter what I say or how I try to show him why I believe certain things, he will not believe it until another man like a church elder tells him it is correct. Its the old KH boys club thing with him and drives me crazy. He refuses to just train the kids up himself and keeps leaving it up to strangers to do it. Then when I try to do it he says I am "stealing his headship". I cannot win with him. Lilly
And to top it off I said "wasn't Jesus 12 when he was found by his parents discussing the scriptures in the synogauge with the religious leaders of his day?
Beautiful!
Agreed with the others, go somewhere else. If they want to be legalistic on something as mundane as 12-years-old versus 13-years-old, then what's next? It might be different if they were in diapers and you were trying to bring them into the 13-year-old area, but c'mon!
Dave
