Something happened at church yesterday

by lovelylil 46 Replies latest jw friends

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  lovelylil

  Thanks Kate,

  Good idea about the charity work. I know my kids would love to do something like that. We always give to the local food pantry but it is privately run and not by any church group. My hubby is trying out another church on Sunday but this time the kids and I are staying home. I don't mind him taking them in the future but I suggested that he go first, see what he thinks. And then if he likes the church he should attend a while, ask lots of questions and maybe the kids and I will attend a sunday with him after a while. I think trudging them from church to church will be too traumatic for them right now as they are still healing. They are doing great but get panicky about church and I don't blame them. I mean these kids grew up hearing that all the churches were demonic so how can we expect them to feel good about going into one?

  I tried my best to explain how we were wrong but I have to think that it is scary for them anyway. And then to feel unwelcome in a church made matters worse. We will keep praying. But I told my hubby I am in no hurry and he should not just jump in. After talking to the kids about it and realizing how scared they really were on Sunday, he understands why I reacted the way I did. And he is going to be more careful next time. Lilly
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  choosing life

  Lovelylill

  You certainly do think fast on your feet. Your comments and questions to that usher were spot on. You are not over reacting on this one. I would not let any stranger take my child, especially when he wants to stay with you. Too much abuse of children going on to risk such a thing. And who ever heard of a twelve year old disrupting the services. I think most twelve year old children have learned to sit still and be quiet.

  I understand about wanting to raise your children yourself with just the Bible. My husband also wants someone else to tell him what it means and exactly how to apply everything. I think he just doesn't trust his own judgment after all those years of having the society make all his decisions for him.

  If your husband really insists on attending church as a family, find a liberal one that isn't all about rules and judging others. I hear there are some out there, but haven't looked because I like to study and think on my own right now, usually outside in a natural setting. Good luck!
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  lovelylil

  CL,

  Welcome to the board and thanks for the good advice. Lilly
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  Apostate Kate

  You are a good mother lioness Lill and doing your kids right by protecting them. My oldest child was hurt the worse, even though I never forced her into the mechanics of life as a JW, she attended a private JW run school for many years.

  When I explained that I was wrong, and we were leaving the JW religion completly she said she thought I had lost my mind. It took her a few years but she is still suffering some of the damage the WT did to our family. We had several years to decompress before finding another church.

  When it felt right I prayed and at that time was lead to a Calvary Chapel. But they have grown so much that there are things I see that I am not happy with today. Your experience just one of them, however, the usher may have taken a few liberties with his self ordained power. I've seen that before too. I have known of Calvary chapels shut down because something was not right. One that I attended was on Maui when I lived there. We met outside, on the beach where there was grass and tree's, whales in the chanell, sea turtles, and the children either sat on the grass and enjoyed the service or played.

  My husband and I are teachers with a 75 year old ministry for children, everything beautiful about God and Jesus that we missed out on as JW kids. It teaches children the simple gospel message in a wonderful way that makes them want to learn and come to the afterschool "Good News Clubs" clubs voluntarily. I think of it as an innoculation against these children falling for a cult later in life.

  Right now we are working with a new little church just getting started. We don't have a building yet. (The true church isn't about the building anyway) It is only a few blocks away from my home which is convenient.. It is completly independant from any denomination, although the pastor, my husband, the worship/music leader all were educated at Calvary Chapel Bible Colleges and other schools.

  At this point in my life, since I was where you are now 14 years ago, I ask myself today, what can I do for this church? My children are grown so I don't have to be concerned with their spiritual influences. I don't rely a lot on the serman for learning as I usually am researching the Bible fairly regularly, but I often get something out of it if even a little convicted of something in my life that I need to change.

  Find out which church close to you that has the most charitable outreaches, and you will probably find the right church for your family. A church without charity.... talk is cheap!

  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Lill!

  {{{{{Lilly}}}}
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  XJW4EVR

  I have years of experience with Calvary Chapels and that would have never happened at any of the ones I have worked with. I would LOVE to talk to the pastor there about this. Since they are not "organized" you can find varying differences within CC's, but never something like this.

  While you are at it Kate, can you talk to Xavier Ries at Calvary Chapel in Pasadena, CA? His church does something similar.

  P.S. I like CCs for the most part. I think they are great place to be introuced to the Bible.
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  Apostate Kate

  Xavier may be related to Raul, maybe his father? Not sure. Raul Ries does some good preaching but I never was involved with his church. I attended a crusade type service at the sports field near his church in Chino.

  Hey I'm not kidding I have called CC pastors before and discussed these issues. I don't put them up on a pedestal and they often don't realize what effect their policies are having on certain people, especially former JWs.

  If their hearts are in the right place they will change church policy. Sometimes they will be taping services and the babies and children's cries will pick up rather loudly, but I couldn't care less about their recordings. Children ALWAYS should come first.

  We have babies and children in our services, and childrens ministry available. Children are very important to this church. I can understand if they are really being disruptive but most CC's have mothers rooms for that. We usually have children's noise during the services if it was really bad the pastor would probably say something funny or go up to the child and talk to him. He has done that.

  Have you been to that church in Pasadena? You are right, Calvary Chapels have always been great teaching churches. I have never run into doctrinal inconsistencies. I made many new friends there after the WT. Had a wonderful time attending women's retreats in the mountains.

  One bad thing about churches are church politics. Can't stand it. The desire for recognition. Growth sometimes brings a loss of focus. But the good should by far outweight the bad. Thus my focus now on charity outreach based ministries.
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  freedom96

  There are so many places to choose from, and you need to feel comfortable wherever you decide to go. Forget this place, and look until you are happy.

  There are too many good ones out there to worry about a few that aren't.