Are You Wearing A Mask?

truthsearcher

Are you a questioning JW? What mask do you wear (ie an elder, regular member)? If I came to your Kingdom Hall, could I tell that you were doubting?

freetosee

The ones who know me will suspect something plus that since I left many rumors got started. if I would visit a new congregation they wouldn't be able to tell that I am a happy apostate.

governing body, DO & CO and me between the brothers

fts

Lady Lee

I know you directed this to JWs but it is something I can relate to so easily

I used to wear a mask. I appeared to be what everyone expected me to be - a good mother, submissive wife, good elder's wife and loyal JW. Very few people knew the abuse I had gone through as a child.

No one knew how seriously depressed I was. No one would have guessed that I was planning suicide. The mask was firmly in place in public. But inside I was dying day by day.

It took having a breakdown, leaving the marriage and the WTS and therapy for me to learn to take the mask off .

I learned that trying to be perfect at anything was a road to self-destruction. But learning to be myself, while painful was a step towards being human. And being human, a person who makes mistakes, acknowledges them and learns from them, is far better than attempting to be perfect.

Living a JW life forces people to be something they are not. It forces people to ignore their feelings and thoughts. You are required to be happy and accepting without thought or doubt.

It takes so much energy to continually wear a mask for other people. When I learned to take it off I was amazed at how much energy I had. I could do things I never could have sone before. I was amazed by it It was so different than always feeling tired and dragged down.

One inactive JW who met me a few years after I left said she barely recognized the new me. I looked the same on the outside but I was alive and happy on the inside.

Woofer

I was guilty of this. I think I shocked everyone when I left (as I am sure many on this forum have). I hated all the pretending . . . and fake smiles. . all the fake "joy" I had when going to the meetings and out in service.

cyberdyne systems 101

I was surprised at the reaction when I left, because I used to voice opinions on things - smaller things usually, like beards etc. But I guess I did hide things, even from myself - strange as that may sound.

CS 101

becca1

No one at the KH would know to look at me. If they are in my book study they may wonder why I have not been out in service, but that's about it.

Lady LIberty: what you said really moved me. I am hoping to reach a day when I no longer feel burdened down. I am glad you've reached that point.

BCZAR2ME

Obviously, I wear a mask; as do a great number who post on this forum. We hide behind anonymity.

Very few use their real names or post specifics.

bczar

Lady Lee

becca1

Lady LIberty: what you said really moved me. I am hoping to reach a day when I no longer feel burdened down. I am glad you've reached that point.

Since Lady Liberty hasn't posted here I'm going to assume you meant me.

It takes time and learning as much as you can about how you were manipulated. The nice thing is there is no timetable. Growing and learning is a life-long pleasure that should never be taken away. The WTS turns adults into children and stops everyone to stop growing.

Freedom is too precious to hand over to another person or organization. And hiding our true self behind a mask inposed from the outside whether a person or an organization is NOT what spirituality is all about.

jaguarbass

Ill give you the secret handshake!

troubled mind

Sometimes I think I have worn a mask for so long that I would not recognize my true self .

Are You Wearing A Mask?

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