Did you ever think you'd stop being one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

sandy

I'm sure this question has been asked before . . .

I've come a long way in my thinking. A VERY LONG WAY! I'm always amazed that I got out of the org.

Yeah there were always these little doubts but I never let myself think about them for too long. And I certainly never imagined I'd walk away from it all.

Even when I started slacking off in the org I always said I'd get all the fun and games out of my system and be a good JW once again.

Thank Goodness that didn't happen. Well I did grow up and the so-called-party days (for me) are over.

But here I am now away from the org. I've left all that small-minded thinking behind me.

Even though I am no longer a JW, I do not steal, kill, intentionally hurt others, I make a conscience effort to be honest even when I'm tempted to lie. As others have told me . . . I live a much more honest life away from the dubs.

But, again I must say I am still surprised at times that I am out of the org. How did I get out and not any of my siblings or parents? I wonder what is it about me that made me test the waters?

Alison Krauss's song Gravity really hits home for me . . .

I left home when I was seventeen
I just grew tired of falling down
And I'm sure I was told
The allure of the road
Would be all I found

And all the answers that I started with
Turned out questions in the end
So years roll on by
And just like the sky
The road never ends

(Chorus:)
And the people who love me still ask me
When are you coming back to town
And I answer quite frankly
When they stop building roads
And all God needs is gravity to hold me down

Balsam

I felt the exact same way even when I left I was torn and figured I'd return to the religion after I could think straight again. Little did I know that thinking straight would cause me to reject the JW entirely. I was in such grief over my son who died because his Dad refused blood for him I just wanted to die. I didn't care about anything anymore. Little by little I healed and learned the truth about the WTS and it Governing Body.

Balsam

fullofdoubtnow

For most of the 25 years I was a jw, I never even gave a thought to leaving, but here I am, out for just over a year, and with no thoughts whatsoever about going back.

I have no family in the org, which made leaving less painful, and I live a far better, more honest life away from the wts. I no longer have the feeling of never being good enough, which I had throughout my years in jw land. I wouldn't want to feel that way ever again.

Chameleon

I always hated going to the KH twice a week, plus an extra meeting in between, and I felt the same about FS, but I figured that it was something we had to do 'cause the "true" religion would be no walk in the park. Then I googled JWs and finally let it sink in that it was a cult.

daystar

It never occurred to me consciously. I don't know how I thought I was going to keep things hidden in perpetuity. I knew the things I was doing were wrong according to the teachings, but man did they feel so right.

I guess I thought it was just going to be a phase of my life. I figured I would eventually meet an attractive Witness girl and fall in love and all would be right with the world. I'm sure now that it wouldn't have been, but that's what I thought at the time.

Thank the gods I got busted!

SB

i was just thinking about this yesterday ~ it's weird to be on the way out the door, knowing i'll never look back. before, i lived w/the fear that maybe someday i would be DF'ed, then plead my way back (even though i was "exemplary" until last year). but b/c i'm leaving for intellectual reasons, i'm not self condemning myself and feel free instead of punished. what's weirder to me, is how many things (opinions, beliefs, friendships) that were so solid before, i now question and have to completely re-evaluate....nope, never thought i would be here, but i sure am glad i found intellectual freedom at a young age. :)

SB

garybuss

When I was a teen of 15 in 1959, I'd have never thought any of the events of the next 20 years would play out. I'd have never ever dreamed of the twenty after that.

Never ever, ever.

Chia

You know, I have to say, yes. I did think I wouldn't be a Witness. I mean, I technically still am, but I always envisioned myself going inactive, not preaching. When I was younger I wanted to be a missionary, but as I got older and more and more was expected of me, I started to dread preaching. I knew I didn't want to go door to door anymore...and I mentally planned my escape. I figured I'd marry a "weak" brother who was open to doing fun things, and he'd be my reason for becoming inactive.

Didn't exactly happen that way, but I'm out nonetheless!

hambeak

I never would have believed I would ever leave I fiercly defended everything the borg taught until about a year ago. It was just my personal life I thought was screwed up and always being depressed believing I was condemned to Gehenna for being gay. Now I know the truth and with the help of this board I am finally FREE I hate what they do to your mind especially the youth and especially if you are different

freetosee

Never ever too, I thought the invisible ruler would get me if once out...

The kingdom hall was my whole world. I didn't know anything else nor better. But then...

Today it is like I was sombody else.

fts

Did you ever think you'd stop being one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

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