by sandy 69 Replies latest jw experiences
Not me. I could never imagine any scenario in which I wouldn't be a JW. Until the first serious doubt came along, followed by others. It's amazing how quickly I went from believing it all, to believing none of it. It seemed to happen almost instantly.
But once I started having doubts that the end would come in my lifetime, and about the bible in general, I knew I had to examine the religion objectively before I wasted any more of my life waiting for a payoff that was never coming.
I think there was a part of me that always believed it, saw it as inevitable. Exactly how I knew, I don't know, because I loved it all, loved the doctrine, at least, though I mostly didn't love the authoritarian nature of the higher-ups--elders on up. Whenever they gave talks about how someone left the religion and died horribly some short time later, I'd always think, come on. Surely there are people who have left and didn't get beaten to death in a bar the same night. There is a way to leave this religion in an orderly manner, and once you figure that out, you can go on with life like everybody else. And they don't seem to be constantly stabbing each other or swapping their spouses or smoking drugs and bowing down to idols.
Anyway, I think I did probably believe a little too much in my own invulnerability, simply because I was too shy to get into much trouble with the ladies. I gradually learned, to my detriment, that some ladies have no problem pulling you into trouble with them, if you aren't careful. Were it not for that, I might have executed a gradual fade and got out of dodge. Or at least walked away from it all without any further direct dealings with it.
But maybe 3 years ago? Nah. Never would have imagined that, not in a million years. Not because it was impossible or improbable, but just because it would be too much pressure, too much guilt. I would've rather killed myself back then. Heck, there are days I still feel that way.
But my thought is, only reason I'd really have to leave the religion was if I could prove that it wasn't "the truth". Once I did that, my mind was long gone before my body was.
--sd-7
SANDY:
In the early days, I would have answered with an emphatic "No, never". But, after twenty years of garbage and having my eyes opened as to what goes on in the religion, my answer is different now. I am simply horrified at how awful it actually is.
My issues are not just doctrinal but the people as well. The attitude towards single women and responsible working people is intolerable. The culture and mentality of the religion is detestable. It strains credibility to think a 'righteous God' could be backing this religion.
As a kid, I recall fantasizing about a life on the "outside" with someone who understood what it was like, so I'd say yes
Never. It was the true religion and my entire extended family was fortunate enough to be a part of it.
I had actually at one point come very close to breaking the spell, to the point that I was reading the WT and seeing it from the "other side", from the perspective of a normal person who sees the false logic and misquotes.
But, somehow I managed to beat those independent thoughts down on the advice of my seemingly wise father and ended up with an even deeper belief.
Thankfully the day came when I typed "Jehovah's Witnesses" into a search engine. This site, Freeminds, and a copy of Crisis of Conscience opened my eyes very quickly from there. Thank God.
NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS!! I believed it so fully. There was never a doubt in my mind. Like keyser soze said, once it happened it happened fast.
Born into the anti-Christ, I knew no other life.
Now in my 50's I have finally decided to never return to it all.
I had no doubt it was the 'truth' and any questions I had I buried deep. However, there was always this nagging at the back of my mind about how arrogant the GB were and how they were always saying: 'We're the chosen few and you are 2nd class dirt!'
I just couldn't shift that thought. I simply tried to believe what the GB said. In Eldub meetings there were the suck up brothers who werre always being sycophantic about how grateful we should be to the 'faithful slave'.
The GB's arrogance was there undoing for me. The last assembly I attended was where the hilarious 'overlapping contempories' was vomited out. I saw this as a desperate attempt to cover over 131years of false prophecy.
I actually felt as if I'd literally woken up from a dream......like coming out of anasthetic...I can't explain it...it was a liberating feeling.
I have been gone 6 months and now KNOW the JW org is just an anti-Christ pyramid big business posing as a religion.
Sorry to rant but I'm fed up because my wife and daughter didn't follow me out when I have provided solid evidence both in scripture and secular scandals. Darn!!!!!!!!!!
In fact my wife has been more zealous despite health problems since I left the mind control.
I only wish V for Vendetta would go to Brooklyn and eviscerate the GB members for kidnapping my family!
I never imagined leaving the Jehovah Wickedness, but after being treated like shit but an overwhelming number of these nasty fuckers including some who I thought were my friends, I finally had enough and walked away from this hellhole. My wife was against me for it at first and couldn't understand, but after getting some of the same treatment from a 'sister' at her job and others then she stopped going too.
A lot of people have left over the teachings, but speaking for myself it was because of the back stabbing and ruthlessness and constant heartbreak why I really left. Of course leaving has given me the fortitude to research the many "apostate" websites (something that obviously a no no previously) which has only strengthened my resolve to never return to this filth. I've got no time for the lying, evil GB and JWs in general. They are all just a bunch of horrible people who are nowhere near as "loving" as they pretend to be.
The next Jehovah Wickedness idiot that approaches me in the street will get the same treatment I had to put up with myself.
No, never. Not once did I ever conceive of a life outside the organization. It was that way for 18 years. Then one day something was presented to me that was so shocking, so disturbing I had to leave. It took me over a year to actually make the break but I did it. And I've never once looked back. 21 years later and I can't beleive I was ever a part of that world. I can't believe I allowed my prinicples and honor to be compromised the way it was.
The only regret about leaving is that I didn't do it sooner.
Chris
No I never ever planned on leaving jws but they forced me out. I look back now and wonder how I could have so throughly believed it was Jehovah's org , to the point I allowed them to abuse me and stayed anyway b/c it was Jehovah's org. True believer, I guess.
