by ESTEE 60 Replies latest jw experiences
My husband and I are just at the beginning of what I think will be our exit.
He wants to DA formally because he wants to present all his findings about the org's dishonest
teachings in writing and make a clean break so to speak. I, on the other hand am more likely
to avoid confrontation and just fade away and hopefully move away to make it easier.
We still have a way to go with this decision though. I don't think any more or less of someone
because of which way they exit the org.
Fader, but want to DA. We're all here together, ultimately for the same reasons.
It really doesn't matter how one exits, and each situation is so highly individual. They are all trumatic and painful, whether you are thrown out by being DF'd, or choose to leave on your own terms by DA'ing or fading.
We are all in the same boat, regardless of the method by which we exit.
Up and left around 1974 never went back. In '92 sent the letter. Didn't know about the status change. As a result my father who had returned to the wt shunned me. I don't think it matters how you do it. You get out of Dodge the best way you can. Being a jw is like being in the mafia...they won't leave you alone. If you can fade out more power to ya. Otherwise do what ya gotta do.
We, Mrs Smith and I faded for various reasons, very succesfully in fact. We did not make a clean break, but 'popped' in every now and then to the KH. Untill recently I still thought the Borg had 'The Truth' and need to go back at some point. When reality set in, I was adament to DA, make a point! Or two, three?
However, Mrs Smith pointed out that since we are now below the radar, to do so would be to abide by the Borg's rules. THEY want you to make a point, so that they can follow the next rule, to shun you. All black and white. No reasoning with the 'one sheep that strayed from the flock'! They, the Borg, have a system I have seen in the corperate world. F.I.F.O. " Fit In or F&%#! Off"
Thus, boys and girls, Big Bad Borg sees very little difference between any of us. They view fader's with suspicion, just waiting to catch them out or get the 'Bye-Bye-Now!' letter.
As for my view point, I respect those that faced DF or had the courage to DA. I am not 'safe' yet. I will probably need to do one of those two at some future date. Untill then, 'let sleeping dog's lie'.
I think we should leave those kind of superiority games to active JW's and politicians. The rest of us are just trying to make a bit of sense out of our JW experience. It's good to be out, how you got here doesn't matter. The best advice I got when I posted the question "to da or not to da?" was why play by their rules?
This is something I've been mulling over. Just would like to hear opinions as to whether Faders, or Inactive ones think they are superior to Disfellowshipped or Disassociated ones? What is your experience with this? If you are a fader or an inactive one, do you think you are better than a disfellowshipped or disassociated one?
I have not read any responses yet...I wanted to answer this directly without seeing what turn the thread took.
I am a fader...and have been quite successful...so far. I do not think faders are "better" than DFd or DAd people nor do I think DFd/DAd are "better" than faders. We are all fighting the same fight against the oppression of the WTS. It's just that we all have unique situations and we each have to handle them as best as we know how.
For some, like me, it means laying low, becoming inactive, fading and eventually being forgotten or given up on by elders but yet keeping my family ties with my JW family.
For others, it means taking stronger measures like DAing to take a complete stand against the WTS.
There is no right way or wrong way.
I admire those that take that stand to officially DA themselves. It's a very courageous thing to do. Does that mean that those who fade are less courageous? I don't think so...we still have an ongoing fight that takes courage to deal with as well.
We're all from the same background, we just chose different paths out and away from that background that we want to leave behind.
That quest
That question is bollocks.
Only a still-a-witness would consider themselves "better" than a DA or DF or fader.
Jim_TX
I believe that we are all equal - even if the JWs do not. That's their problem.
Hear! Hear!
To add to that, we are all equal and no matter who believes otherwise, that's their problem. Cool thing about it, having DA'd, looking back at them JWs are all equal too. None of them is superior to the other, they are all humans, just different, not better or worse. But while I was in it was so hard, almost impossible to see that. I always felt so much less, so much worse.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul
