Are Faders "better" than DF'd or DA'd?

by ESTEE 60 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ESTEE

  This is something I've been mulling over. Just would like to hear opinions as to whether Faders, or Inactive ones think they are superior to Disfellowshipped or Disassociated ones? What is your experience with this? If you are a fader or an inactive one, do you think you are better than a disfellowshipped or disassociated one?

  And also,

  If you were once an elder, do you think somehow you still have it over a mere once-publisher?

  I figure if people are judging one another as "more" or "less", are they really any different than the jws who go door to door believing only jws will survive the much-feared Armageddon they are so sure is coming?

  ESTEE
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  ESTEE

  Or . . .

  If you were a "brudder" . . . are you still superior to a "sista" . . .

  ESTEE
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  Mysterious

  I don't think faders or inactive are any better. I do think that sometimes they have an easier time with friends and family though, but that is just a fact of how the active JWs treat and classify us. Everyone had their own reasons for leaving and one solution might not work for another person.

  As for former elders, I just think it shows that anyone can come to their senses. That doesn't make them any better than anyone else though.
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  exwitless

  I'm a DA'er, and I would hope that most agree with me that NO ONE is superior than another for his/her choice in method of removing themselves from the borg. It all depends on what circumstances one is facing (i.e. family ties, job, etc.) For Little Drummer Boy and I, we felt that DA'ing was needed to get the borg off our backs and make a clean break. However, it was easier on us than it would be for others since we have no family that are JWs. I think the family issue is one of the key factors in whether to DA or fade.
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  dido

  In a way i think that faders are cleverer than d/a`s and d/f`s, but they have to suffer longer by putting in appearances, whereas d/a can cut off easier than d/f, but i think d/a ones think they are better than d/f ones, as they `chose` to leave, whereas the d/f ones `had` to leave. Looking at it from the other side, the wts think that the d/a`s are worse than the d/f ones, as they have turned apostate, whereas the d/f ones have `sinned` or are `weak`.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  Both myself and my boyfriend da'd, but we'd both have been df'd if we hadn't, and we da'd to save time, we both wanted to get out of the wts. Neither of us think we are better or worse than faders or those who were df'd. Da'ing was our chosen method to leave, that's all.
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  dobbie

  I don't think anyones better than another , in fact the support everyone gives shows how great EVERYone is!.we are all having to deal with the same problem - the wicked wts, its just that we have different characters and different situations and whilst one thing might work for some such as d'a ing for instance, others may not feel they have that option if they have family still in and opt to fade instead. I think this will be an interesting thread though!
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  becca1

  I'm fading but would love to DA and make a statement. However, circumstances won't allow. Everyone has their own reasons for how the get out. None is better tha another.
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  looking_glass

  I am a "fader", but I would never deem myself better off or worse than a DF'd or DA'd person. It takes a lot of courage to intentionally leave a religion that is as strong as the WTBTS, especially if you still have family in the religion. There have some some thread that diss people who have quietly left and are keeping under the radar. Some feel there needs to be a revolt and that if we band together things will change. I have too many family members in the religion so as to charge the tower gates. But I respect those who have made an effort to leave of their own accord which may be different from the method in which I left.
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  Jim_TX

  I can answer this - as a 'fader'.
  
  I don't feel any better or worse than anyone else - whether they have been DFed or DAed - in fact... that doesn't even come up in a conversation with an ex-jw - unless the other one brings it up (why should it?).
  
  If some folks have a hang-up about their status with an organization that they no longer belong to - that's sad.
  
  Me? I walked away over 20 years ago - and haven't been back. Not by anything that they did to me - I just felt (at the time) that I wasn't 'good enough' to be a full JW - and so 'withdrew' myself from the organization.
  
  Nowadays though... I'm sure that there are some JWs that might not want to speak to me... *shrug*
  
  I believe that we are all equal - even if the JWs do not. That's their problem.
  
  Regards,
  
  Jim TX