Are Faders "better" than DF'd or DA'd?

by ESTEE 60 Replies latest jw experiences

  • DocBob
    DocBob

    I am a former elder, former regular pioneer, fader. Why would I feel that I am "better" than anyone else? I helped to perpetuate the WT system in ways and to a degree that others did not. I'm just glad to be out of it and doing what I can to help others see the truth about "The Truth".

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    As an ex-elder and current fader I don't feel superior on either front. Do you think faders come across as superior?

  • chiddy
    chiddy

    have not read all the posts , but I was raised a DUB until mid 20'S but I think x elders should be given ultimate respect. nuff said

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit
    If you are a fader or an inactive one, do you think you are better than a disfellowshipped or disassociated one?

    I'm a fader. It's a thankless, get-no-glory, grunt of a job, but, somebody has to do it.

    Like most faders...I have family and my children, especially, that I do not want to lose. If I could DA and not be viewed as a pariah to be 'officially' shunned...I would definitely do that for one reason: To make my statement to my former WT prison guards that I'm free and no longer blind. Hopefully, my DA letter and my passionate words would 'make a difference' to the Elders and other JW's that might hear about it.

    As a fader who is still shunned by some, I still have some access, that gives me a chance to plant some proverbial seeds of doubt.

    But, "better or superior?" No way ! However, that is now...when I first landed here I think the shock of seeing so many DF'd people scared me a little lot. I did feel "better" in some ways -- at first ! Because I had left on my own terms, I suppose. After reading all the different JC horror stories tho'...I began to see that JW's were really getting 'convicted' for independent thought, even if it was some 'moral' issue...the Elders had no right to become judges.

    Besides, I'm not DF'd yet, but, by WTB&TS 'standards'...I should be !

    And I am quite proud of that !

    Rabbit (Disfellowshipping material class)

    btw...according to Google spellcheck..."fader" is not a word ! Thanks WT for adding words to the dictionary.

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    rabbit wrote:

    getting 'convicted' for independent thought, even if it was some 'moral' issue...the Elders had no right to become judges.

    Thanks for your comment rabbit. It's what I needed to hear. Elders don't have a right to judge. Appointed by holy spirit . . . my eye. That is a statement from the top to give these men credibility, and foment fear within the flock.

    I guess I've been feeling down on myself at times. Really it boils down to how I feel about my Self. I have two grown kids who shun me. I've recently become a grandmother, but I've never met my grand child---or my son-in-law. Don't even know if my daughter had a boy or a girl. I have shed a few tears over that. The religion has destroyed our family.

    Perhaps everyone here is like a mirror to me. I look at the examples of the respondents and see a bit of myself in each reply. I want sooooo much to be happy and well. And I know I have done some good healing in being more accepting of myself. And I guess I see where there is still more growth work for me to do. I guess it never ends as long as I'm in this human body of mine.

    I do understand why it might be harder for elders to step away from the jws---perhaps their ego is attached to the "position" of respect in the congregation. I do give the ex-elders credit for their courage to step away when it feels healthy for them to do so.

    Thanks for letting me vent. We are a great group of people, no matter what our status. We don't need to take on the dub labels. I just wanna be me and feel happy with me.

    ESTEE

  • CD
    CD

    a Fader here & does not feel better than a DF or DA.....we are the same in that we are FREE & OUT of the Borg. for me, my freedom is enough..I do not need 2 make any stand against the borg.

    CD

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    Yes, I am better than most here. I pioneered for 4 years, spending my youth wasting my life on a book-publishing zionist cult. I am also superior because I served for a year at Bethel headquarters where I scrubbed pots and pans - that now gives me more ex-JW enlightenment than most. I've given plenty of public talks and this also makes me better than most on JWD because I spent many hours doing logic-tricks in my mind, avoiding full-on thinking when it came to inconsistent doctrines and so forth. I am also better since I have helped several others come to a complete understanding of nothing at all. All hail Daniel-P!!! The foremost among you.....

  • Mystla
    Mystla

    I was raised a Dub and pioneered for three years, so I know what feeling superior is like! LOL!! I am so glad that one of the things I shed along with that religion was my superiority complex!! When I think back to my nose in the air attitude...ach! it's so emberessing!

    I'm a fader who wishes she had the courage to DA! And am grateful I never got the additional kick in the gut that DF's get, it was hard enough without that!

    Misty

    oh! the superiority complex runs in the family, btw, my sister and her hubby were recently made CO's Her nose is so high in the air.. if it rains, she'll drowned for sure!!

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    Same here, Mystia. All those years I spent actually believing I was superior to wordly people and even my "brothers" humiliates me now. I am proud of who I was, but not what I believed.

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    I am a DF'er myself, but my close friends are faders, and I don't believe they treat me any different, or would treat me any different than if I was a fader. I think those tendencies tend to fade away the longer someone stays away from the dubs.

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