A story that is hard for me to tell (page 4)

under_believer

One of the worst things about this whole mess is the way that we don't talk about it. The only person I can talk freely about it with is my sister (who was also a victim.) My mom knows that I know, but we have never even broached the subject.

From what I can tell from talking to my sister (who CAN talk more freely to my mom about it), my mother has essentially said "they have made some mistakes but it's all good because they taught me about Jehovah." And indeed, here in an excerpt from a recent email I got from my mother:

***************
There is something I've been wanting to tell you, , and I hope you won't take offense at it. Its just that you seem to feel you had such a terrible childhood, and I know things were far from ideal. But, do you ever think about the positive aspects of your childhood? I could tell you stories about my childhood that would make yours seem quite wonderful. Still I appreciate the good things that happened to me as a childhood, and appreciate my parents for the love they showed me, even if they were far from perfect (especially my father, as you probably know). But, what I especially appreciate about my childhood, is that I was introduced to our wonderful God, Jehovah at a young age and was able to enjoy so many beautiful experiences in serving Him even at a very young age.
***************

In talking to my therapist, I've discovered that the attitude above is typical among victims of sexual abuse. This is only exacerbated by the religion issue.

Woofer

I was told to forget about what happened. NO one in my family talks about what my brother-in-law did. I feel it only makes the wounds even deeper. Pretending nothing happened is not helpful at all.

My sister (who was regulary pioneer at the time the mess came out and was childless) got pregnant not a year after he confessed to what he did. Yeah thats the way to reward a pedofile, bring kids right into the house so that he doesn't have to go out and hunt them, make it easy on him. Smart thinking!

fullofdoubtnow

(((((under_believer)))))

What a terrible experience, I am so sorry. I applaud you for your courage in posting it. That a man like this, who as po would no doubt sit in judgement of other "wrongdoers" could even sleep at night is beyond me. Reading that brings home to me more than ever how evil the wts is, when men like this can do so much harm and yet be thought of as god's representatives on earth.

I can't think of anyone who more deserved the kind of sufferring he went through before he died. Maybe there is some justice in the world.

Linda

wannaexit

What a sad story. And to think that most Jw's think they live in a "paradise".

Makes me sick.

love2Bworldly

UnderBeliever--

Thanks for your courageous post. I keep wondering how many similar stories are kept hidden, whether in or out of the BS Society.

My husband was repeatedly raped by his uncle growing up, and I'm the first person he has told. It makes me sick, and I told him I would drive him to his uncle's grave so he could piss on it.

I just don't understand how anyone could harm an innocent child.

Fleur

(((((((((((under_believer))))))))))))))) You are so courageous. Thank you for telling that painful experience, it will help many here. It could be the story of so many of my friend's families.

I am glad that the grandkids broke the cycle, that should help protect their children from anyone who would prey on them, not just 'granddad' who apparently is the poster boy for Karma. But no punishment could be enough to set right what he did all those years.

Lady lee said:

Too bad the book Toxic Parents by Susan Forward doesn't fall into her hands one day

That book is a masterpiece, and is the reason that I sought therapy before I was going to have children of my own; before I even left the WTS. I don't think I have my original copy, I couldn't go back and read the margin notes now anyway, it would be too painful.

hugs

essie

Lady Lee

For those who have never heard of the book I did a twist on it comparing Toxic Parents to Toxic Religiona

Toxic Parents Toxic Religion 1 http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/59414/1.ashx

Toxic Parents Toxic Religion 2

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/59448/1.ashx

It was very interesting to see the same dynamics at wiork

puck

(((under_believer))) -- wow. it's so horrible to hear all that, and not to have ever had any inkling when we were growing up around one another. i'm truly sorry to read about it. what a courageous thing to post, and i hope it helps you in some small way to get it out.

-- puck

katiekitten

But, do you ever think about the positive aspects of your childhood? I could tell you stories about my childhood that would make yours seem quite wonderful

This is terrible justification - mine was truly complete unbearable shit so by comparison yours was only general awful shit, and therefore you can be grateful to me that I didnt make yours as bad as mine.

Gee thanks mum.

You must feel a whole heap better.

under_believer

katiekitten, you're absolutely right. And she only has the luxury of saying that to me--my sister experienced the same things that she did, at the hands of the same man. And, I mean, no I wasn't sexually abused, since I wasn't a little girl, but I was whipped with a 5 foot long antenna by a man who was both childish and emotionally unavailable, so, I dunno, yeah my childhood was kind of shit too. I don't think that the fact that she had it worse makes my childhood okay.

It bothers me even more that she's willing to write all of that off and say it's all okay since they also taught her about "our wonderful god Jehovah." It completely blows me away

A story that is hard for me to tell

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