Did your JW social life only consist of meals at a friends home?

by truthseeker 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • truthseeker

    I know many here who have had good and bad JW social experiences. Some went camping, hiking etc, went to the beach. Others did nothing. Some had no social life at all in the org and some had congregations where nothing ever happened socially.

    I know of one sister, who has since left, who complained that the only thing witnesses did when they got together, was share a meal.

    Now, there's nothing wrong with sharing a meal. But, in our hall, that's ALL they did.

    This sister was very much into sports and sports clubs before she became a witness. Now imagine, when you go to the gym, work out, play tennis etc - you give up all your worldly associates and come into the truth. The congregation she was in was plain boring - only the well established cliques did anything and they were very selective about who they alllowed into their inner circle.

    So you have this sister who's completely bored during the week, she can't hang out with her old friends, and the only time she gets invited out is for a meal at a witness friends home.

    Consequently, she couldn't live this lifestyle anymore and left.

    Has anyone had similar experiences? Did anyone leave because the witness social scene was non-existent or unfulfilling?

  • fullofdoubtnow

    It wasn't the reason I left, but the jw social scene was somewhat narrow. The only time I went out, apart from when I was on holiday, was to another jws house.

  • truthseeker

    Greetings fullofdoubtnow!

    Yeah, ours was virtually non-existent.

    The only rare time we got together was for "video evenings", which solely consisted of a television, a VCR, popcorn and participants who didn't chat to each other afterwards. It plain sucked.

    I went to a few of these, and although the movie was usually good, the social interaction was non-existent if your face didn't fit. In fact, I couldn't wait for my parents to pick me up afterwards, I just wanted to get out.

  • garybuss

    My guitar and I were invited to "get togethers". I was excluded from other social things by the same group and I noticed. I got the feeling I was being used even though I enjoyed our jam sessions just because I was excluded from virtually all non-musical things.

    That was before I realized the Witness people tend to be inconsiderate and inconsistent. There were good times and there were bad times. All in all, I wish I could have just skipped it all.

  • Finally-Free

    My JW social life consisted mostly of meals at functions where gifts were expected, such as weddings. Eventually someone thought it would be a good idea to invite only elders and ministerial servants for the wedding dinners. This would save money, and those of us without titles could come later for the dancing and still bring gifts. Receiving a thank you note for gifts was very rare.

    Also, people were happy to be invited to my home to eat my food and drink my booze - unless, of course, they received another invitation from someone more popular. Then they simply wouldn't show up, not phone, leaving us wondering what happened. My ex was usually quite hurt by this. I didn't care - I don't mind eating turkey all week long.

    It was rare for us to be invited to more than one social event in a year. It bothered me at first, but I eventually learned to prefer my own company to that of those idiots. I eventually began refusing invitations of any kind.


  • AlanB

    My Mom told me that one of the new fundamentalist right wing elders in her cong is clamping down on any social events and has suggested that the association recieved at the hall is all that they should need....

    Now wonder the young ones are leaving in droves....

  • mama1119

    Weddings, graduation parties and baby showers were big time events. Also, people used to through lame-o get togethers at the senior citizen center or the grange. Consisted mostly of censored music, bad dancing, patluck food and cheap decorations.

  • Woofer

    I didn't think so at the time, but my then husband and I were probably guilty of being in a "click". There were a few couples who did things together all the time. It was fun while it lasted.

  • aniron

    My wife and I often had other JW's to our house for a meal. My wife was noted for laying on a good meal. But it was a rare event if we ever got asked over to somebody elses home, even by those we had invited to ours.

    We often used to put parties on for the young ones ( any child up to 12) at our home. Even hiring a bouncey castle, in the back garden. No other family did this.

    Maybe 2-3 times a year a school hall was hired and the congregation would have a "barn dance" we all contributed to that and brought food for a buffet. But they fell by the wayside when the WT went on about "large gatherings" !!

    After leaving the JW's I learnt that the youths (16 up) of the local congregations and the circuit. Would arrange secret parties, someone would hire a hall and arrangement would be made for a DJ, food and drink (and I mean drink!). These could consist of anything from 100+ attending.

    I met a couple of these young ones a while ago both now left the JW's now. They said if the Elders knew half of what went on they would be shocked.

  • doinmypart

    At my old KH, and a number of KHs in the circuit, there were a lot of playing basketball on Friday evening, cards on Saturday evenings, and grilling at someone's house on Sunday afternoons. Every so often a CO will come around discouraging the card playing and grilling since alcoholic beverages and large groups were involved, but this never slowed it down. People down in the south love playing cards.

    Skate parties took place once every two months and kids from all over the circuit and neighboring circuit would attend. And during the summer volleyball at the park, or rafting the river took place a couple of times a year.

    In all there were activities to do, it just had to be limited to JWs. And many of the older JWs wouldn't agree with all of the get-togethers. The older elders and pioneers would complain to the CO, but like I mentioned earlier nothing ever changed.

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