Did your JW social life only consist of meals at a friends home?

by truthseeker 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Tuesday

    Video games and the occasional game of manhunt. God there were people in their mid-20's playing manhunt. Seriously I'm 26 now realizing that if I was playing manhunt with a couple of teenagers that's rather disturbing. At the best I would be a dork, at the worst... well I guess the don't ask don't tell would be best right

  • Jerohobobonadad

    Hello everyone, good topic by the way.

    The social life of my parents was excellent. They are very welcoming people and are happy to have everyone round. They are not well off people at all, but everyone would be made to muck in and we'd then have full congregation get togethers at the house (i mean full congregation, not just the "in-crowd" - these happened in summer and be in the garden, everyone wouldn't fit into our house!) These would usually start early afternoon - adults would chat, us kids would play then in the evening we'd all play board games or just chat around. Sometimes people would bring guitars and sing some songs (not kigdum melodies btw). They were always having people over for dinner, usually twice a month a family or 2 would come over for dinner etc on Sat night. They always used to invite the visiting speaker back on sunday, even if they didn't know them. We sometimes used to put up the strays and waifs that drifted through as well. When we moved in the mid 80's, the cong we went to was real old school. No new members for years, BOE dominated by the local families etc, very reserved and it first caused a bit of stir that the get togethers were organised. I think it would be fair to say they changed that cong for the better in their own way. Now their socail life is just as good, but I would say they have settled into their own little scene now, but their scene isn't really the other elders families - more the friends they've known for years.

    My social life growing up was awesome, but prob for the wrong reasons! Almost every weekend, with few exceptions, from the age of 16 were spent getting smashed at either the pub or someones house when the folks were away. I first went to a proper ravey night club when I was 16. I was a regular at the trendy bar in town at age 16 with all my pals (all good JWs). All my school friends were jealous of my social life. It was excellent and still is - perhaps why I'm reluctant to finally say bye bye to some of the excellent friends i have (I know conditional friends, but friends nonetheless). I hardly had any "worldly" friends until I was early 20's. I suppose I have been lucky - got no complaints me, but i do know some kids that didn't fit in and were excluded in a way. I should have made more of an effort with hindsight.

  • LongHairGal

    I couldn't stand their get togethers. There were only a few people who I liked accepting invitations from and these were for private dinners.

    The rest of the "get togethers" were just tolerable. The usual nonsense and playing of a game and consideration of "theocratic things" (yuck). I learned I had to watch what I said as if I were out in service in a car group. After two hours I was late for the door and would look at my watch and exclaim that I had to leave. You couldn't really enjoy yourself or BE yourself. I stopped accepting baby shower invitations - especially from sisters who never said hello (what nerve!)

    Everybody's comments here are right. I also remember a girl who acted as a chaperone to a couple who were "courting". Once they got married, she was forgotten like yesterday's garbage.

    And, yes, Gary B, I can relate to how you were invited to some things and ignored for others. They are users if you can entertain them or give them something.


  • Dismembered
    Re: Did your JW social life only consist of meals at a friends home?

    More often than not it was meals at MY home.What a waste of good food.

    One time, an "elders" wife brought a cauldron of "potato salad". All she did was quartered some baking potatos, par-boiled them, then threw them in some kind of yellow mayonnaise. She must of killed herself preparing that dish. Although being the type to always be waited on, she was used to sitting on her hands.


  • choosing life
    choosing life

    30 years ago the social occassions of JWs were more numerous and more fun. There were picnics with softball, skating parties, parties with music and dancing. Nothing outstanding, but everyone was invited and it was good for families. We had many parties for the children as our childen were growing up.

    Then they started putting a stop to "large gatherings" and quit allowing people to put notices of social events on the bulliten board at the hall. So this just encouraged the problem that all congregations have and that is cliques. Now many are left out and I can't say that at the end of my association there that I was truly close to anyone. Unless you're pioneer or servant status, you were looked down upon as weak.

  • awol

    That is one thing I miss about not being one... I had a lot of friends.... some who can't/won't speak to me now as I such a terrible person!! ha ha.

    I loved it when we were little. Our cong. would hire a hall and we would all have family parties and stuff.... we had friends who would hang out at ours after the group. All of the social side was great.

    However,when I was a teen and moved out to a witness family house, that cong. said NO to any gathering of 4 or more!!!! So, there was NO group gatherings of any sort "allowed". Well, there was 5 girls in the family including me and then the mum dad and son!!! So bit hard there. We ignored that as it was a made up stupid rule by an elder who probably had nothing better to think up, he also said no brother and sister can work together unless they are family or married... oh he got df'd for having an affair soon after!!

  • morty

    there were a few events.....i guess the biggest ones were Tupperware parties, and baby showers....As I think about it now, it was pathetic...it use to be something I looked forward to.....

    oh yeah, and the yearly HUGE Barn dance Frank Mott-Triel use to hold...It was the bomb, that barn dance..all the moo-moo juice you could drink and all the food you could eat....

    I of course, was busy sucking on some kind of alcohol with older brothers till all hours fo the night...

  • Gill

    Once my husband became inactive, we were never invited anywhere. It was probable a good job anyway, cos we never knew the answers to the Bible quizes that they had and we never joined in with 'theocratic banter!' So we were obviously different!

  • lonelysheep

    Yeah, that was it. Looking at someone else's walls, and there's nothing wrong w/that, but, that was ALL there was to do without jeopardizing spirituality.


    My parents always had people over. To play ping-pong or volleyball, and sometimes dinners. My mom could cook well. However, the reciprocation never quite got back to us. My ex and I always had people over for dinner and movies. However, only once sis some other J-Dub do the same for us.

    I wonder if it has to do with the double-lives so many J-Dubs seem to live. One way at the Hall, and another at home. It's hard to be the perfect J-Dub, when you are far from it at home.

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