Non-Witness in Love with Lesbian Witness

Siraphina

I'm hoping someone here can help, advise or councel me regarding my dilemma because I'm desperate and dying inside. Here is my story: I'm an out, non-witness lesbian in love with an active JW lesbian. She's very much in love with me as well but her guilt as a result of her religion is emotionally devistating her. We met this past May (through an online lesbian personals website) and fell immediately for each other, as well as became best friends. I'm the only non-witness she's associated with and no one knows about our relationship because her family/friends will completely shun and disown her. As alien as that is to me, (my family/friends support me completely), I've accepted that fact without question because I love her so very much. Sidenote; I'm an atheist and believe it or not, the fact that we're so contrasting is what we cherish the most in our relationship. The past month she's been tormented by her feelings for me, her religion, which she was born into, and trying to reconcile the two. If she chooses me, she is disowned. If she chooses her religion, she says she can't be an active JW and remain with me because the guilt is unbearable for her. She wants both but she insists she can't have both. Most of her life she's repressed her feelings for women and has been miserable about it. She says now her desires have become intolerable and she needs the love of a woman. She says she's found that with me. I've never seen anyone so tormented by religious guilt. Its self-flogging and self-depricating, anti-gay stance has such a hold on her. She's so good to me and the thought of her out of my life is causing me unspeakable heartbreak. Neither of us have ever been this in love before. It's killing me and my tears seem to be endless because her guilt tells her she can't go on living two lives and must make a decision. Therefore, she's suggested we separate for a month so she can have time to make that decision. We've agreed upon that. But I think I'm losing because I can't compete with a fanatical religion someone was born into. Heterosexual Witness and non-Witness couples rarely remain together. Nevermind lesbian couples. Is it unrealistic to believe we two could make it together? -Siraphina

BizzyBee

Is it unrealistic to believe we two could make it together?

Prolly. I have a friend who is lesbian and has enough problems with finding a stable relationship even without the JW complication. Lots of gay folk are conflicted about their orientation and feel guilty, in my observation.

poppers

Is it unrealistic that you can make it together? I honestly don't know, never having been a JW. But, from what I've read here it doesn't sound too good. My best to you, however. poppers

mama1119

I think you posted this story last week. AS most of the posters said, it will be impossible to maintain a relationship out in the open, and continue to be a JW. They will not allow it, and she will be shunned by her family, if they are strong believers. She just has to figure out what is important to her. You should educate yourself on what she believes, and then educate yourself as to why she shouldn;t believe it, and slowly bring things to her attention, to the point that she starts to question and does her own research. It sounds like if she was forced out, she would not be happy, but if she let herself out, she may be more at peace with it. Good Luck.

parakeet

Siraphina: ***Non-Witness Lesbian affair with lesbian JW ...... 13-Sep-06 22:05***

You started a nearly identical post a week ago and never responded to any of the many sincere responses made.

Now you're here again with the same story.

That makes you a TROLL in my book. Go away.

fullofdoubtnow

Hi Siraphina, and welcome to the forum.

Your friend has a difficult decision to make, and whatever she does, someone is going to be hurt. I echo what mama119 said, it might be a good idea for you to acqaint yourself with some of the jw beliefs, which you can easily research on the internet. It would help you to understand her dilemna better.

Whatever happens, I wish the two of you all the best.

BlackSwan of Memphis

Siraphina:

Here is a link to your original post from last week. There were some pretty good responses in there.

I figured it got so buried you didn't see all the responses you got.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/15/120502/1.ashx

Siraphina

Thank you all very much for your responses. I truly appreciate your taking the time to offer your support regarding my situation. As of last night, and only a matter of hours after my recent posting, my girlfriend said she couldn't continue our relationship as much as she loves me. The Elders from her congregation actually phoned her asking to see her next Saturday to explain why she hasn't gone to her meetings. She is going to be honest with them and wants to "repent" if only not to lose her loved ones. Her loyalty and desire for her religion is something I can't compete with. We both knew it would end like this. We'll miss each other very much but she sees no other way. I'm grateful to everyone on this board for allowing me to share with them and more than anything, I appreciate your honesty. -Siraphina

Shanna Korin

First let me say hi! I wish so much I had a good answer but all I have is heart felt sympathy as I am so far in (closet) it's not even funny. My guilt has kept me in a life that is so empty in so many ways. Thank You JW's ! I may not have the answers but I'll listen and give you any input you'd like.Hopefully your girlfriend will be a stronger person then me. Good Luck and keep on loving her.

Gretchen956

Shanna,
I'm an out lesbian exJW. If you'd like to talk at anytime please PM me. I too hid who I was for years, and it is an empty life when you pretend to be who you are not and who you were not created to be. I hope you find peace.

Sherry

Non-Witness in Love with Lesbian Witness

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