A JW with an impossible question (page 8)

thaisun

Sosad - interesting to hear your thoughts. I have PM'd you on a similar topic.

hamsterbait

When a Dub is DA DF or put on restrictions, they are not always told they cannot preach.

After all somebody desperate to prove repentance may well make even harder efforts to preach to get back in before Armageddy. No report will be accepted, but the contributions hawked had better go into the contributions box.

Was your man penalized for marrying you, or for having sex before marriage? He knows the rules. If he thought he would get away with their infarction, he thought wrong.

If he is now in trouble for going his own way to marry you, it strikes me that he was already on the way out, but needed some reason to provoke punishment so he can blame s.o. else for his ultimate loss of faith. He is no longer a Dub in his head, one day he will face up to the fact, and start going to church with you , guilt free.

HB

AuldSoul

But after the meeting was over I could go out in service with that very same brother and at the door speak and read scriptures.

Here's what strikes me as odd about it: Unbaptized JWs can preach. In fact, if they want become baptized JWs they have to preach, comment at meetings, give talks, etc. But a baptized JW could be restricted from doing what an unbaptized JW is required to do.

Where does "great freeness of speech" come in? Where is there the "freedom of the Sons of God?"

The whole religion is off kilter. I wouldn't know where to begin helping someone make nice with the corrupt authorities that run it at the local level.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

Scully

jgnat

I know this advice does not come specifically from the Watchtower publications, so your hubby may dismiss it out of hand as nonsense, and that's ok.

I'm looking at the Elders' behaviour from a social psychological vantage point, as you already have noted:

I think one of the brothers asked him about this once. He told the brother his highest ambition is to be accepted out in to field service, possibly becoming a poineer one day. If he were to reach that goal, he would be satisifed.
So of course, to properly punish my husband for his independence, the elders must deny him the one thing he desires most.

In a nutshell, this is how a lot of controlling people exert control over their underlings, by finding out what the person wants more than anything, and then withhold it from them. Perhaps your husband's answer should become "I don't care about going out in field service anymore, the elders won't let me go, so I won't even bother trying anymore. I just want to be at all the meetings, that's my goal now." or "I'm looking for a church where my outspokenness is valued" - weren't James and John referred to as "Sons of Thunder" for their outspokenness??

For what it's worth, he should still be allowed to GO in field service, provided he does not "take any doors" and lets his partner do all the talking. They do as much for known pedophiles. If they are worried about him being too blunt at the doors, this would be a reasonable alternative.

Scully

jgnat

Here's a passage that you and hubby can consider: Acts 4:1-20. This is the account of Peter and John's arrest by the Sadducees and other religious leaders for preaching and "plainly declaring the resurrection from the dead in the case of Jesus". The religious leaders were embarrassed and felt threatened by the "outspokenness of Peter and John", and ended up ordering them to stop preaching. In reply, Peter and John said to them "Whether it is righteous in the sight of God to listen to YOU rather than to God, judge for yourselves. But as for us, we cannot stop speaking about the things we have seen and heard."

It's ironic that in a country where JWs are applauded in the annals of legal and civil rights history for their fight to preach door-to-door, that they would deny your husband his constitutional right to his free exercise of worship. At the same time, they uphold the right of JWs who are convicted pedophiles to participate in the preaching work. Your husband could take it up with a lawyer if he is so inclined, particularly if he has documentation that expressly forbids him from participating in the preaching work. There is nothing stopping him from just showing up at the field service arrangement and expecting to go along. If they don't assign a partner to work with him, then he can follow them into the territory and just start banging on doors. You should be there too (for moral support, of course ), with a tiny video camera, so you can capture the elders informing him that he is forbidden from participating in field service, and explaining to him from the scriptures why he cannot participate, in view of the information at Acts 4:19, 20. Then you take your video tape to a lawyer and threaten to sue them for denying him his constitutional rights.

(This is the third time I am attempting to post this message. )

becca1

I've not read this whole thread so maybe this was already addressed, but I think your husband's case was mishandled. You can not be banned from field service unless you are df'd. He could write the CO or the Society. Or he could enjoy the time off...

magoo

...dayum..........all this fuss over not "having" to go in service.....most jw's would be thrilled

Wakka Wakka

magoo

BlackPearl

You're asking for Viniger and Oil to mix, which they cannot.

Abaddon

Maybe I am being simple here, but what better way is there of your husband getting free than the Borg to prove how removed they are from Scripture by their own actions?

He may not like what they are doing to him. You obviously hate the hurst they cause him.

But is it ultimately going to result in him getting his mind back quicker than if they were all lovey-dovey and let him answer in meetings and hold microphones? I think yes, which is good, isn't it?

Or is there some reason I missed why him staying in is a good idea? It may be traumatic for him to finally let go, but hell we've all been there and it didn't do me any permenant parsnip sheep BUTTER whoop! whoop!

jgnat

This is the impossibility of the question. HE wants YOU to help him be a better witness. HE comes to YOU for help because the "brothers" won't help him.

There are days, paradoxically, where the ongoing cruelty draws him closer to the society. It is not love that draws him, but the familiarity of the pain. I believe this abuse is making him less kind, less patient. After all, if he must endure this "trial by fire" to attain a simple goal like "field service", how dare I call myself a Christian when apparently very little is required of me but to love others?

A JW with an impossible question

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