Darlin' CoolHand...
In addition to me wanting to endlessly and angrily rant about you being only nine years old when they held you to this god-forsaken contract...
I just want to say that I waited for a bit over fifteen years for my nephew to come back to me. I babysat him when I was young and he was just a baby. I had practically worshipped him in my Sister's womb! When I faded, his Grandmother (other side of the family) forbid him to see me at all. I was completely crushed. I told them on the phone that I would always, always be there for them (he and his sister... she came back to me sooner than he did... *grin* )
Well... several years later he came down when my Mom died. We had an interesting encounter where we were both alone on the back porch. I let him know that I still loved him more than he could imagine, I would always be here waiting for him, and if he ever decided to come back to me, I would be here. I also told him that staying away was his loss, because I rock. (hahaha... we both chuckled about that, it broke the ice.)
Well, lo and behold... several years later... he got my phone number from his sister and called me. My gods, I cannot begin to tell you what that did for me. He is like a son to me. I dare not take this miracle for granted. Ironically enough, even his guardian grandmother who fobade them to have any contact with me has completely accepted me and has shown me incredible love. Now isn't that something.
Humans. Dammit. Throughout it all... we're all just humans.
(...and sending her cards is a GREAT idea.)
grandma part 2...
by coolhandluke 44 Replies latest members private
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BabaYaga
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fullofdoubtnow
((((coolhandluke))))
I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through. I read your post with tears in my eyes, and anger in my heart. The anger is for that mean little cult that you and I were once part of. It reminds me of why I hate this religion so much now, that they are able to do this to families time and time again.
I hope that, in time, your grandma softens towards you, but in the meantime don't give up on her, just make sure that she knows how much you love her, no matter how badly she treats you, and always remember that we are here for you - we love you unconditionally.
It's hard to comprehend, and almost impossible to explain to those who have never been jws, how loyalty to a religion allegedly based on love can be more important than seeing a beloved family member, but we have all seen it happen so many times now, and I guess we'll see it many more times. The sooner that religion disappears, the better the world will be.
love
Linda
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coolhandluke
Darlin' CoolHand...
In addition to me wanting to endlessly and angrily rant about you being only nine years old when they held you to this god-forsaken contract...
I just want to say that I waited for a bit over fifteen years for my nephew to come back to me. I babysat him when I was young and he was just a baby. I had practically worshipped him in my Sister's womb! When I faded, his Grandmother (other side of the family) forbid him to see me at all. I was completely crushed. I told them on the phone that I would always, always be there for them (he and his sister... she came back to me sooner than he did... *grin* )
Well... several years later he came down when my Mom died. We had an interesting encounter where we were both alone on the back porch. I let him know that I still loved him more than he could imagine, I would always be here waiting for him, and if he ever decided to come back to me, I would be here. I also told him that staying away was his loss, because I rock. (hahaha... we both chuckled about that, it broke the ice.)
Well, lo and behold... several years later... he got my phone number from his sister and called me. My gods, I cannot begin to tell you what that did for me. He is like a son to me. I dare not take this miracle for granted. Ironically enough, even his guardian grandmother who fobade them to have any contact with me has completely accepted me and has shown me incredible love. Now isn't that something.
Humans. Dammit. Throughout it all... we're all just humans.
(...and sending her cards is a GREAT idea.)You constantly endear yourself to me. I have a treasured nephew as well... my neices are treasured dont get me wrong, I've just known the boy longer. This is my constant hope that I'll get them when they turn 18 so that I can help undo some of the emotional and mental damage that my sister and my mother and grandmother have done to them. I just want them to know that they have the freedom to do and believe whatever they chose to... that the world is only as limited as their imaginations... basic things that I did not realize until I was probably 24. Most of the business moves that I make now are so that I will be able to be there for me in all ways by that time. I've got 5 years until he is 18... then he's mine.
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coolhandluke
I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through. I read your post with tears in my eyes, and anger in my heart. The anger is for that mean little cult that you and I were once part of. It reminds me of why I hate this religion so much now, that they are able to do this to families time and time again
I hope that the anger that we feel will stoke us enough to keep out, no matter the emotional blackmail they use against us, if nothign more than for the freedom of thought, the clarity of self, and the openess of the world at large. Thank you for crying with me
It's hard to comprehend, and almost impossible to explain to those who have never been jws, how loyalty to a religion allegedly based on love can be more important than seeing a beloved family member, but we have all seen it happen so many times now, and I guess we'll see it many more times. The sooner that religion disappears, the better the world will be.
love
Linda
Agreed. Explaining takes hours... and even then you swear that you are not speaking english. It makes you feel so stupid and mentally challenged for not being able emote the proper words in their proper context to make this person understand what you are trying to say. It makes me glad in a way that they can't understand. No one should have to understand this.
Thanks for the across the pond love. It goes out like an infinity symbol and from me comes back to you just as strong
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jambon1
I am so pained to hear your story.
I lost my grandmother a number of years ago, I have never got over it. They are special people in your life and it is such a shame that you have lost her for now
I dearly hope it changes for you buddy. Hang in there.
J
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lonelysheep
I do hope, still, that she will accept the great amount of love you have over how she's been told to act by the wts. Grandmoms are special people. My heart aches for you and the pain your family has been putting you through all this time. I would hug you right now if I could!!!!
(((((((((((((CHL)))))))))))))))) -
hemp lover
So I read this post and the first one (I am my grandmother's failed plans) when I was stealing time from work today. I had to go in the bathroom and cry for a minute. Your writing is beautiful. This part really got me:
..dead goes this line...dead goes a bit of my hope...dead goes my past...dead goes my binding tie... My concept of God was built upon the strengths I observed in my grandmother. Fate, it seems has a sense of irony. I am dead to her... for now, only for now she is dead for me... and God's voice if he has one has never been more faint.
I agree with GGG re: the postcards. I wish I had received advice like that before my grandmother died. We had a similar connection, though she didn't raise me in the same way that yours did you. We didn't speak for three years and when I went to visit her on her deathbed, it was as though nothing had changed. I realized in that moment that she probably would have been there for me all along had I only tried. That hurts.
Just remember this: never will dead go her love...
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Fleur
It seems that I wade through masses of fluff, whacko conspiracy theories, and one-sided political rants on this board. But, every now and then a thread rises to the top that symbolizes everything good about this board and the entire xjw community.
Thanks for writing this. You have a gift for communicating. I hope this thread stays on top for a while.
Amen to that. It's so hard to find anything like this here anymore, I think people are reluctant to lay themselves bare this way ,but when you speak your truth, it resonates to so many of us.
I have been sick all weekend but I wanted to come back to this thread and I too hope it stays visible for a good long time. Lurkers need to read exactly this kind of thing. They need to see how destructive it is to rend grandchildren from elderly grandparents and parents especially ones in precarious situations like the one your grandmother seems to be in with her husband.
Be aware, too, that every time she speaks with you she is likely being monitored. Her husband or other relatives are likely standing over her shoulder and watching every word. My grandmother went through this and caught hell from a relative of mine for accepting a package I sent her in the mail when I found out she had cancer. The reason I sent the package was because I knew a letter might 'disappear' from the mail more easily than a big box. Inside that box was the letter telling her that we would take care of her. She reportedly cried and said that of all her grandchildren I was the only one who offered such care, and she knew that I really meant it.
It will soon be two years since she passed and I know I am going to be a basket case again. She had died out of state but was finally (months after her death) laid to rest and I need, NEED to go there...I just haven't found the strength yet. When I do go, I will think of you and your grandmother and wish with every ounce of me that you will be able to reach her, and she will be able to reach back, in the future.
Thinking of you, CHL...
essie
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coolhandluke
I do hope, still, that she will accept the great amount of love you have over how she's been told to act by the wts. Grandmoms are special people. My heart aches for you and the pain your family has been putting you through all this time. I would hug you right now if I could!!!!
(((((((((((((CHL))))))))))))))))Lonely, thank you for acknowledging how special grandmothers are... she is indeed special to me and to everyone she touches. Thanks for the hug... received... appreciated
So I read this post and the first one (I am my grandmother's failed plans) when I was stealing time from work today. I had to go in the bathroom and cry for a minute. Your writing is beautiful. This part really got me:
..dead goes this line...dead goes a bit of my hope...dead goes my past...dead goes my binding tie... My concept of God was built upon the strengths I observed in my grandmother. Fate, it seems has a sense of irony. I am dead to her... for now, only for now she is dead for me... and God's voice if he has one has never been more faint.
I agree with GGG re: the postcards. I wish I had received advice like that before my grandmother died. We had a similar connection, though she didn't raise me in the same way that yours did you. We didn't speak for three years and when I went to visit her on her deathbed, it was as though nothing had changed. I realized in that moment that she probably would have been there for me all along had I only tried. That hurts.
Just remember this: never will dead go her love...
hemp, thanks for the compliments on my writing. yours just created a lump in my throat. i promise to follow ggg's advice about the postcards... too much time has already been lost.. i have no more to waste. i hope to have the same experience with her that you had with your grandmother.
Be aware, too, that every time she speaks with you she is likely being monitored. Her husband or other relatives are likely standing over her shoulder and watching every word. My grandmother went through this and caught hell from a relative of mine for accepting a package I sent her in the mail when I found out she had cancer. The reason I sent the package was because I knew a letter might 'disappear' from the mail more easily than a big box. Inside that box was the letter telling her that we would take care of her. She reportedly cried and said that of all her grandchildren I was the only one who offered such care, and she knew that I really meant it.
It will soon be two years since she passed and I know I am going to be a basket case again. She had died out of state but was finally (months after her death) laid to rest and I need, NEED to go there...I just haven't found the strength yet. When I do go, I will think of you and your grandmother and wish with every ounce of me that you will be able to reach her, and she will be able to reach back, in the future.
i agree with you about being monitored. her husband is probably standing over her... i might take a page out of your book and use the "big box" method. thank you for thinking of me. know that now when i think of my grandmother, i'll think of you fondly and admirably. i'm glad to know that i am far from alone and thankfully still have time to make the wrong things right. thank you again for sharing yourself with me.
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mouthy
even though my belief in god is on life support
I was happy to read the above quote....I am so sorry that your Gran is under mind control But I think the suggestion that you drop her cards every so often to tell her you love her is just what MY GOD ( JESUS)suggests ....LOVE!!!! My Grand-daughter sent me a letter telling me she wants nothing to do with me although she loves me- Cos I left Jehovah...