C.O. is in town, the harassment begins...

by PeachRose 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • Quandry

    Welcome, Peachrose

    Well, you are in a precarious postition. It's like the Mafia-you can't just walk away. If you do see them, they will undoubtedly try to trap you into saying something incriminating. They will likely ask, "Do you still feel that this is Jah's organization directed by the faithful and discreet slave?" Then of course, they are waiting for the answer with baited breath so that they can get rid of you.

    I opt for the take a day trip suggestion. It is hard to stay at home and quiet all day, dreading the knock at the door.

    When my husband and I first faded, he would not go outside and mow the lawn by himself, and we kept the front shades pulled for so long. We have gotten over that, now.

    Whatever you decide, hope all goes well.

  • Anitar

    Peach Rose: WELCOME! From the bottom of my heart, I am so glad to see you. Congratulations on escaping the watchtower, I can guarantee you will have more friends here than you ever had plastic smiles at the kingdom hall.

    There is no shame in either ignoring the CO, or confronting him to his face. I agree with most responses here, but I want you to make a decision for yourself, using your own brain. That's something you get to do alot outside the watchtower! Welcome to the real world!

    Hats off to you,


  • Mr. Kim
    Mr. Kim

    "Do I pretend I'm not home and don't answer the door bell this weekend? Do I answer the door bell and talk to them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated?"

    Stand up and answer the door. Play like you don't know any of them and you are just visiting realitives and in a few days you will head home to ???. This will throw them into retro thought and they will not even know what to say. Keep the act up incase the questions start. You can have a LOT of fun with this technique!!

  • mcsemike

    I wouldn't want you to live in fear. If you can pin down the hour they might visit, go out shopping. If you are home, don't answer the door. That worked when all of US used to go knock on doors, didn't it? I mean, how long would we have waited at a door that no one opened, even though we heard people inside? We used to mark on the territory slip "HBH" (home but hiding). They can't DF you for being in the bathroom, can they? (Actually, you'd be killing two birds with one stone, that's where their advice belongs....) Oh, SORRY, I was daydreaming.

    Why can't you be home with a migraine? In the shower? Whatever? They think they are super, but they can't see through walls. If you open that door, you will probably get the test question mentioned above: "Do you still believe blah, blah.....?" Then you might say something or I've even heard that those who won't say "yes" have been DF'd. Why give them anything to work with? You said you weren't ready to leave yet. So don't let them have any chance to do you in at this time.

    You could have a friend over that they don't know and he could dress up like a priest. Have HIM open the door with bloody hands and say "Come back later after the sacrifice is over, okay?" or "You better move off the porch. The exorcism is almost over and we expect the demon to hurl himself straight out the door." (Or anything else you'd get a kick out of.)

    I live in Florida. I would put up a sign: "Our pet alligator/snake/scorpion is missing. Please do not approach the door." But put the sign ON the door, so they can't see it until they think it's too late. That would be fun watching them sprint for the gate. Or "Our bipolar son is home again. His father's .45 pistol is missing. All visitors should leave NOW." Have some fun with it.

    It's your home and life. Play it the way you want to. THEY are the uninvited people. (Like they usually are.) Don't give them any power over you. Good luck.

  • quixote

    When you hear the knock, pick up a hat, umbrella, coat, jacket or any thing else that would indicate you are about to leave.

    Excuse your self with "Oh, nice to see you (o.k. so you have to lie a little), but I was just on my way out" They will ask you when is another good time to visit and in your mind say "NEVER" but utter the words,"I don't know, why don't I call you ?"

    It worked for me, so go on and give it a try.

  • Anitar

    This is so pitiful. When did Christ ever behave like this? Deliberately scheduling time to harass people? So much for "shaking the sand off your feet and walking away..."

    I can't make up my mind what's a more sorry excuse. Either they have such a superiority complex that they think they can decide when to come unannounced to your door, or it's because they all work at McDonalds and have nothing better to do! You know, this is not even about "religion," this is about violating the barriers of normal human conduct. I would tell them "I don't care who you are, just GET A LIFE ALREADY!"

    Mike, your humor is as always, priceless. I do hope they flush afterward!

    I have a question for Pink Rose, Mike, and everyone else. When you were a witness, and you were doing stuff like this, did you ever think "this is a total waste of time?" Or perhaps did you wonder if this is what Jesus would have done? It's one thing to do as your told, but did you ever feel wrong violating a person's personal space like this, because witnesses do this ALL THE TIME, in their visits and their conversations. That's half the reason I can't stand them. I'm sorry to be rude but it's something I've always wanted to know.


  • Legolas
    They also said that this week is the CO's visit (all hail the mighty JW pope is in town)


    If you want to get certain things done first...Avoid them!

  • dothemath

    Re: On the Way Out

    ("I am going to accept a visit from the CO and DO in about three weeks. That is because I am an active witness, who has just stepped down as an elder, by submitting a letter about my doubts. I am going to keep saying that I have doubts (really I no longer doubt that the GB is wrong) but I will discuss it no further. I feel that this is a necessary step in my fading away gracefully..................." )

    Just curious how this stragegy will work for you..........I too was an elder and also have numerous doubts about the "truth" .

    Hope you find time to let us know how it goes.

  • mcsemike

    First, thank you, Anitar. I try, sometimes I get lucky.

    I was a MS much or most of my JW time. Also a book study conductor. So I did feel right when I enthusiastically called on inactive ones. I truly believed they were "lost" and I was really doing them a kindness. I once called a sister who was not attending anymore. She said she got home late from work on meeting nights and by the time she made dinner, it was too late to attend. I actually suggested she eat something light and quick, perhaps a salad, then eat when she got home from the meeting. She said "who wants a salad for dinner"? I said something about the meetings being more important and she had had enough and told me she "didn't need this". I dropped it. She was later DF'd. But she came back, remarried, and is now happy. Now I'm alone and getting divorced because I stepped back and questioned the WT. Ironic, isn't it?

  • Sunspot

    Welcome PeachRose!

    There IS no answer other than do what YOU feel the best in doing! I tried this "avoid them" routine but they banged on my door morning-noon-and evening (ALWAYS after my nonJW hubby left the house) so I know they were watching to catch me alone and vulnerable.

    They are NOT there out of any loving concern for you....but to eventually get you to admit you are fed up with the whole JW-thang......they even went to where my hubby worked to tell HIM that "I had to speak to them" which got my Irish temper up even more! I had always been "Sister meek and mild", but they really pushed me way too far.

    SO.....as I said----do whatever YOU are comfortable with---they ARE going to get MORE pushy, MORE bossy and MORE aggressive. The thing that made me the most angry---was that for months before I had been quite ill and had been on crutches or in a wheelchair and stopped attending meetings---and NOBODY called or showed up to see how I was doing since after the Memorial (by now this was in OCTOBER!) The ONLY time anyone called was to get my "time" by phone, and one sister hurriedly dropped off a new book a day or two after the convention in Syracuse. Big stinking flip.

    I finally got extremely disgusted and wrote the PO a letter about the total LACK of "love", saying that now it was MY turn to play hard-to-get and I WANTED to be left alone to sort out my feelings (and WHY) about where I was in my life! THIS was when the constant aggravation began. I ended up putting up a sign that said "no JWs---and that the LAW would be called if they knocked on my door again"....which was when they went and bothered my hubby at work.

    They are hell-bent to do what THEY want to----and to make YOU knuckle under to THEM! I just wasn't having any PART of that OR them, thankyouverymuch.

    Keep your cool and try and have a good laugh at their expense......as they go about their "brotherly duties" to figure out where you "stand" in the congregation.....

    ...These little tin pretend wannabe Watchtowergods are pathetic.


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