2. If you can't avoid, make a polite excuse (busy, inconvenient, family business, etc.)
3. If they persist, make up an unverifiable illness -- migraine, depression, irritable bowel disease (they won't want to hang around discussing that!)
4. Be rude and tell them to go away.
OnTheWayOut: *** ..... I am an active witness, who has just stepped down as an elder, by submitting a letter about my doubts.***
It's happening again. The good elders, the ones with a conscience and a brain, don't stay JWs for long. Welcome OTWO. I hope you find your way out with as little JW interference as possible.
C.O. is in town, the harassment begins...
Hi everyone! Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I really appreciate the advice. I feel as though I'm among true friends. I've been debating whether I should invite them in for tea, listen to their "sound advice" and just come out of the closet right then in there but there are reprecutions I'm not yet ready to face-I am sure they will try to gang up on me to change my mind (though they can't).
I think (for now) I'm going to take the "cowards" approach and avoid answering the door & phones too (thank God for caller ID though Bethel numbers show up as private); however, if they happen to catch me off guard and I answer the door & try my best to get rid of them saying "nows not a good time". I guess the old "I'm not interested" answer wouldn't work this time (haha).
It seems like it's time for a nice little drive... outta town... far outta town, this weekend. That way you're doing things on your terms and not theirs. Keep truckin'; you're on the right path.
I am going to accept a visit from the CO and DO in about three weeks. That is because I am an active witness, who has just stepped down as an elder, by submitting a letter about my doubts. I am going to keep saying that I have doubts (really I no longer doubt that the GB is wrong) but I will discuss it no further. I feel that this is a necessary step in my fading away gracefully. If I were not an elder or appointed servant, I would suggest that people avoid the CO. I intend to do so on every visit after this initial one. The only way to face them and not get disfellowshipped, is to bite your tongue or lie. I will do some of both. Their own literature teaches us that we are not wrong to withold the truth from those not deserving of it. (They mean intrusive government officials, but it's the same thing) I will smile when these men make a "good point" and they will walk away hoping they did some good. If you cannot do that, then avoid, avoid, avoid.
On the way out--
I enjoyed your post but disagree with you. I understand that you may be doing this for family considerations, and while I still disagree, I sure do understand why you would do it that way.
I think it is best to explain in detail why they are no longer a place that you want to be identified with.
My personal issue was the UN. (I have a thread going with all my letters to the WT on an internet site).
However all that being said, I am rooting for you as you walk away.
I'm sure you will get a lot of suggestions and you can pick and choose from among them and do what makes the most sense to you. In the meantime, here are the "danger zones" for the week ahead -- the times when you will most likely get a visit, if you get one.
Weds, Thurs, Fri from 1 p.m. until about 4 p.m. That's when the CO is assigned to "go on studies" with dubs who are supposed to prearrange their bible studies for the CO visit. In most congos, the afternoon schedule is pretty spotty because most dubs can't, or won't, change their studies to mid-afternoon during the week. So the CO has time on his hands during these hours and will often draft an elder to take him around to visit "those who need encouragement." And in their book, that would be you.
The other time zone you need to be aware of is Saturday morning. The CO will be working w a carload of elders that day and someone is liable to suggest they "drop by" your house to see if they can catch you at home and "encourage" you. This way they can show the CO they are good shepherds and at the same time let him do the work.
It's possible the CO will want to make such calls one evening, but not likely; they have a full plate of meetings already including the elder's meeting that usually takes place on Friday night. It's at this meeting that your name will probably come up and the CO will either decide they will try to contact you the next morning or he will admonish the elders to make a concerted effort to shepherd you -- which the elders will translate as meaning sometime after he leaves.
Good luck planning your strategy. Remember, to fade you need an exit "plan." The plan relies heavily on elder avoidance
Excellent information. That is their schedule when the co's are in town. Very good so that Peach Rose can plan her strategy.
Put the answering machine on, let it pick up if they call and if they come back to your house, put on your robe, rub your nose and eyes and well, play sick. Tell them you can't make it and you can't let them in because you have a nasty flu bug and don't want them to get sick.
Or don't answer the door.
You could always put a few jack o' lanterns out there. That might send them the message.
Do you have a peephole in your front door? If you're not expecting guests and peek out and its the Men in Black, just don't answer. That's what we did when the CO and elder came to our house. There's nothing cowardly about it at all. They are uninvited guests. You don't have to answer the door. I strongly recommend against opening the door or having any discussion with them. If you must, tell them you will call them when you are ready.
Don't answer the phone, and don't answer the door. Just because someone calls or knocks does not obligate you to answer. If you talk to them, you send the message that it's OK for them to drop by or call any old time and invite themselves over. My husband and I have been playing that game for awhile now. They still often show up and call, but I don't give them the power to impose themselves on me, my time, or my home.
The other time zone you need to be aware of is Saturday morning. The CO will be working w a carload of elders that day and someone is liable to suggest they "drop by" your house to see if they can catch you at home and "encourage" you. This way they can show the CO they are good shepherds and at the same time let him do the work. willyloman
We did the 'encoragement' on Saturday mornings with the CO. It was easier then because every BS had at least one family that 'needed ecouragement' in oredr to 'remain firm in da faith.'
but there are reprecutions I'm not yet ready to face-I
To me, the statement above is the key. You have a plan, this possible visit this week does not dovetail in any manner with your plan. Thus, you choose to keep to your plan.
Don't think of yourself as cowardly or dishonest. Think of yourself as a brilliant tactician!
Here's to an exit wholly on your own terms!