If you say Hi to JW's you happen to meet knowing they wont say Hi back just to mess with them you might be an Apostate.
Jeff Foxworthy....You might be an Apostate if.....
If you think for yourself...you might be an apostate.
If you learned more about the Society in 1 day than you have in your entire life...you might be an apostate.
If you actually know who C.T. Russell is...you might be an apostate.
If you have a sudden urge to stand on your roof and scream...you might be an apostate.
If your 'Favorites' list has a 'to be continued' at the bottom...you might be an apostate.
If you watch 'The science channel', 'The history channel', 'The discovery channel' or any news channels...you might be an apostate.
If your "never believing" mate cringes when you say "come look at this on the computer"...you might be an apostate.
And if you all of a sudden feel like 'James Bond'...you might be an apostate.
You enjoy listening to Christmas songs year round because you JUST learned the words! Ya, that's me, an apostate!
You might be an apostate if you start to have a sex life without being married.
You might be an apostate if you masterbate or look at porn without feeling like you are going to be struck by lightening any second.
"If you feel you have reached celebrity status..You might be an Apostate!"
"If when you are out in public and are spotted by a JW and they immediately phone their friends because they saw you...You might be an Apostate!"
If you think "The Pioneer Spirit" is a beer they serve on the Oregon Trail........you might be an Apostate.
If you stop for gas on your way to work and have an urge to leave something with the attendant so you can count your "TIME".....you might be a JW.
If you think pissing people off at 9:00am will get you everlasting life....you might be a JW.
IF YOU THINK "THE FRUITAGES OF THE SPIRIT" ARE WINE COOLERS.......YOU MIGHT JUST BE AN APOSTATE!
If you say "GET BEHIND ME SATAN" to your disfellowshipped family/friends....you might just be a JW!
If everytime you hear the words "Satan" or "Demons" you are compelled to SCREAM out Jehovah's name & break open the bible and read.....you might be a JW.
If you have more friends as an EX-JW than you ever did your whole life...you might just be an Apostate.
If you feel that the "pouring out of Holy Spirit" is a waste of a good DRINK......you might just be an Apostate!
.....to be continued......
If you have new pet names for Jehovah like Jehoobie, you might be an apostate.
......If you've ever CRASHED the Memorial just to get a free drink.....you might be an apostate!
If you put on a mask & start handing out candy everytime a JW shows up at your door........you might be an apostate!
If you get excited for the March 1st Watchtower because it lists the Convention Dates............you might be a JW.
If you push & shove people out of your way to get to the back board where the list of "motels/hotels" are for the convention so you can be the FIRST one to call & reserve your 3 nights.........you might be a JW.
You have the desire to stand on the sidewalk during thursday night meeting with a sign that says "Come on in carnival inside, giving away king size candy bars, oh and dont forget the halloween costume contest"