Have You Been Divorced, Or Getting A Divorce?

by Outaservice 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • done4good
    done4good

    Divorce is becoming very common in the jw community. At least 6 couples in my last congregation, (including my ex-and myself), were either divorced or separated within the last 3 years.

    I would certainly say that the WTS contributes to this, at least indirectly. If we consider the aspects involved, it is easy to see why. First, dating is off limits, unless marriage is being considered. So what happens, young, horny people get married too young. I don't need to tell any adult what kind of mess that can potentially make. Bad start. Then, there is all of the "Theocratic" nonsense that pressured onto the marriage. This is no way helps. Especially, if one of the marriage mates, (like my ex), has some deluded understanding of what being a truly "spritual" person is. In her case, it was all about image. Very fake, but very common in jw land. An honest person cannot put with this for long, without needing to be medicated.

    Finally, when things get to the breaking point, the only "scriptual" way out is some form of adultery, (this makes absolutely NO sense). So let's see, let's have a one night stand, just so we can get out this mess! Any thinking person can see what is WRONG with this. Much better to just leave the abusive situation. I usually find most people, (at least one of the marriage mates), will leave the org. when it comes to this, simply becasue it's one of those things that makes one clearly see what is wrong with the "biblical" counsel, and the legalism of upholding it.

    j

  • OpenFireGlass
    OpenFireGlass

    Not to change the subject, but am I the only one curious about what Openfireglass can do with 4 cheap ties?

    Cog

    No I don't wear them... but let me tell ya what I could do with 4 cheap ties... if ya really wanna know...

    OpenFireGlass... I know!!! I know!!!! A jump rope?

    I'll give ya a clue... It also involves 4 bed-post's...

  • aarque
    aarque
    I met a guy years ago who was interested in religion. He started going to the Hall and studying; we started to date. The pressure to marry was unbelievable (I was 20; he was 26)... it was constant. When we decided to marry, the elders refused to marry us beasue he wasn't baptized yet. We were married by the Justice of the Peace and he was baptized several months later. A few years went by..we struggled with problems. Finally, we decided to have counseling by elders....they totally ignored us. I asked several times for help, but to no avail. We split up and I moved back home. During this time I did a slow fade. The elders came to the house and insisted that I could not divorce him. I told them he was divorcing me and I was not contesting it. There was nothing they could do. What I never told them was he admitted to me he'd had an affair while we were together. I felt it was none of their business. We divorced and even though I was never DF or anything, the Witnesses never, ever had anything to do with me - they never called on me, never had any kind of contact with me ever and I've never stepped foot in the Hall since. It's been nearly 30 years. I am now remarried and have been living in another state for the past five years.
  • Honesty
    Honesty

    The Watchtower Society contributed to the divorce by interfering in our personal affairs.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    I had two divorces. The WTBTS factored into the unhappiness of both marriages and weighed heavily in the divorces.

  • moshe
    moshe

    Yes,divorced 2 times. 1st time to my JW wife of almost 19 years- same story as others- she couldn't live with an apostate.

    The second was for only 9 months- I should have done more research on her. She was bipolar and just plain wore me out. He idea of fun was sex 3 times a day and 5 or 6 times a day on the weekends.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    She was bipolar and just plain wore me out. He idea of fun was sex 3 times a day and 5 or 6 times a day on the weekends.

    Poor Moshe. You should have hired a stand in. Or had a replica Real Doll made of you.

  • wonderwoman
    wonderwoman

    OFG: oooh...you naughty naughty little boy.
    And poor Moshe, you are too funny. I should hire her to be MY stand-in.
    Just thinking back...my-jw-elder-ex-father-in-law was the main pusher in my 1st divorce. My parents tried to talk us out of it, and wanted to see us make it work. His parents came over and moved him out, called me a whore and I almost got into hand to hand combat with my cookoo mother-in-law. Then there was the relentless elders meetings and bullshit. Ahhh, I miss those days. NOT.

  • raylo
    raylo

    I'm just replying again because I like your wonderwoman avatar..lol

    she's actually the only comic superhero character that I like...and yes I have the dvds of the show..

    Raylo

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug
    I was trying to do '"the right thing'", you know you are not supposed to sleep with a man if you are not married to him. Now, I would never marry again without spending much time with someone, and yes I would test drive first.

    Ah hon...I know the deal. Did you find that you really were not in love? Just chasing tracers from a bad portion of your life? I found that most of what I did to my harm was in an attempt to do the right thing....I was so wrong.

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