Its Over

by diamondblue1974 29 Replies latest social relationships

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    I'm sorry. Its always a little sad even if it is amicable. Hugs to you both!

    Cog

  • luna2
    luna2

    Endings can be sad even if both are in agreement. I'm glad for you guys that this was an amicable parting of the ways.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Brenda - Elaine wasn't at the BBQ - just to put your mind at rest!

    Gary - I hope I can continue to offer whatever support you need. We've spoken a far bit and although initially I was of the mindset that surely you could work this out - I understand that the differences are too fundamentally different and respect and admire you.

    I'm going through the same sort of thing as you know. After nearly 8 and a half years, and even though I am still in love and love Mr C, I can't make him happy. So we decided after many tears (all mine) this weekend that I should leave. It's very hard as I feel this is the first home I've had since I left my folks. I'm going to see my first bedsit tomorrow evening.

    Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

    hugs to you both and I hope it proves to as painless a separation as possible and bring you plenty of positives in the near future.

    Nina xx

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Nina:

    I'm going through the same sort of thing as you know. After nearly 8 and a half years,

    I'm truly sorry! (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

    Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

    Rubbish! Whoever wrote that - who did write that? - was a moron! I'd rather never have loved than go through the pain of losing my beloved.

    You and Gary are GREAT people!!

    Love,

    Ian

  • vitty
    vitty

    I always feel incredibly sad when I hear of the end of a marriage. But I admire the courage needed to recognize and end it when needed, instead of taking sometimes the "easy" route of staying together because your afraid of the unknown.

    I was wondering why would anyone feel badly towards Elaine ?????????????

    (((((( Crumpet )))))

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    I was wondering why would anyone feel badly towards Elaine ?????????????

    I think he just meant sometimes people take the sides of those they know the best or like the best and he's just trying to be even handed and make sure that everyone knows there is no blame or fault to apportion.

    Thanks Ian and Vitty! I know what you mean Ian, but you wouldn't pass up a year of Claire would you? However I have decided that I really don't ever want to have a relationship with anyone again - it is too painful losing people all the time.

    Sadly in my case it seems largely that my dub history is to blame for my break up. However I will post a separate thread about that when I feel emotionally less fragile. (Sorry Gary - I'm hijacking!)

    crumpet

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    (((((Nina)))))

    I am really sorry to hear of what you are going through. You will be in my thoughts.

    Take Care

    love

    Linda

  • Gill
    Gill

    ((((((((Gary ))))))))

    ((((((((Nina )))))))

    Sorry to both of you. It must be terribly painful for you both. Sorry for your pain.

    But....as Lowden said earlier 'Onwards and Upwards!' Things will get better.....but in time.

    Love to you both

    Gill

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974
    Gary - I hope I can continue to offer whatever support you need. ;We've spoken a far bit and ;although initially I was of the mindset that surely you could work this out - I understand that the differences are too fundamentally different and respect and admire you

    Thanks Nina, you are a great friend and your friendship and support is really appreciated.

    I'm going through the same sort of thing as you know. After nearly 8 and a half years, and even though I am still in love and love Mr C, I can't make him happy. So ;we decided after many tears (all mine) this weekend that I should leave. It's very hard as I feel this is the first home I've had since I left my folks.

    Sorry to hear that, its always a difficult decision to make and I can concur with the tears; my advice is that you should follow through with your decisions; there are some who would say that leaving is the easy way out; thats rubbish its staying put thats the easiest thing to do; the hardest is being strong enough to admit defeat and be honest with yourself. Good luck with whatever your decisions are and you know where I am when you need a chat.

    DB74

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    My heart goes out to you.......

    I come from a family of divorced parents. Seeing my father now, he is the happiest I have ever seen him - sometimes in life things are really not meant to be. My father cares for my mother but has moved into another marriage, which was based on love. I remember the grieving process my parents went through, but in time their hearts healed and they are better people. They were married almost 29 years.

    I firmly believe in divorce, if it the best for both parties. I have seen the hurt it can cause, but I have also seen the light beyond the divorce. (I've seen many divorces)

    I promise you, it will get better, just take time for yourself and start being yourself again. My only advice is, find a hobby and try and occupy your time with what makes you happy.

    ((((HUG))))

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