The Bastard told on my dad

by Lilycurly 55 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Swan

  I would make a very pointed phone call to the Elders who said that, and tell them that since they confirm that you are a big girl now, that it is NONE of their effing business if you and your mother associate together. You both quit their stupid asinine micromanagment bull$h!t cult and you do not answer to them. And then remind them againwhat they said above, and tell them that YES you are a BIG GIRL now and don't want them bitching about your associations with your mother who is no longer part of their stupid asinine micromanagment bull$h!t cult and no longer answers to them either. The fact that your father and mother are still together and still go places together is not a matter for the Elders to interfere with. It's NONE of their business. You can threaten them with a harassment lawsuit too.

  If they continue to interject themselves in between your mother and father, have your mother remind them that they are still married in the eyes of God and that Matthew 19:6 says, "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." -- New King James Version

  But do this in a mild mannered way, not in the heat of anger. As much as I admire Scully, and yes she is right too, I think she might be missing the big picture here as to which method of approach to employ. You do not want to loose your cool in this situation.

  You want to contrast yourselves to the elders in your father's eyes as much as possible. This will help him see more clearly what they really are. Again, take the high road. You want to interject doubt by introducing key thoughts and questions sparingly. Don't use a direct attack; cult conditioning causes members to become defensive of direct attack. The subtle approach is much more difficult, but it is what has worked in the past for people like Amazing1914.

  Tammy
• 

  sspo

  To Scully

  you have great questions for the elders BUT keep in mind you might as well be talking to a brick wall, they will not reason, they have specific instruction of what to do with apostate, remeber Satan was an apostate and this is how she will be viewed.
• 

  Scully

  Mainly, this information is food for thought for lilycurly's father. As long as they do not view him as an apostate, he could actually get away with asking all those questions. With the intent of "clarifying" the Bible's WTS's position on the matter, naturally.
• 

  Swan

  Mainly, this information is food for thought for lilycurly's father. As long as they do not view him as an apostate, he could actually get away with asking all those questions. With the intent of "clarifying" the Bible's WTS's position on the matter, naturally.

  Naturally.
• 

  looking_glass

  I have never believed in the "tough love" approach to life. When has it ever worked???? As for a group of over grown men who feel it necessary to over compensate for a lack of something (and I will leave it up to you what that is) by bossing others around and policing every one's activities, well they should get a hobby and leave people's private lives alone.

  Lily - my heart goes out to you and I hope your father comes to his senses (again) and stop shunning you.
• 

  Scully

  The Elders are interfering with your and your mom's fundamental freedoms under Canada's Constitutional Rights and Freedoms.

  http://lois.justice.gc.ca/en/charter/index.html

  1. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.

  2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:

  a) freedom of conscience and religion;

  b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;

  c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and

  d) freedom of association.

  Isn't it just so sad that the JWs, who spent so much time and legal expense fighting for their own freedom of religion, freedom of association, and freedom of peaceful assembly - particularly in Quebec - would deny the very rights and freedoms they fought for to their own members, and attempt to restrict those freedoms with ex members?

  Maurice Duplessis would be so proud of them.
• 

  Mary

  Isn't it just so sad that the JWs, who spent so much time and legal expense fighting for their own freedom of religion, freedom of association, and freedom of peaceful assembly - particularly in Quebec - would deny the very rights and freedoms they fought for to their own members, and attempt to restrict those freedoms with ex members?

  Scully, this is a really, really key issue and as you brought out before, our Charter of Rights guarantees the individual Freedom of Religion, not any Organization. I'm going to raise this issue with my co-workers husband, who is a lawyer and an Orthodox Jew here in Toronto about whether or not shunning a person because of religious beliefs is a violation of our Rights.
• 

  Mysterious

  Not surprising to find a JW being a snake and saying one thing to your face when he sees you but doing another behind your back.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  they have no leg to stand on scripturally against me for continuing my relationship with my daughter and would make that very clear to them. I would have a clean conscience before jehovah about my decision.

  Well good on you AgapeTroll; you'd be disfellowshipped of course, but at least you'd have stood by your principles.

  Lily, hang in there. Remember that nobody really takes 'discipline' well, your dad is probably smarting about it and deep inside there's a part of him that is upset that the elders have interfered with his family. It's confusing for them, and they have a lot to overcome, and you know how much time it takes. Well, that's what we can tell ourselves.
• 

  Lilycurly

  Oh my! So many things to think about....

  Yes, I know that the best thing we can do now, as the non-JW part of the family, is to show my dad how much more loving we are. As in "genuine love" not the "ratting-you-out, conditional" kind.

  To the poster who accused my mother of letting these things happen...please don't judge too harshly. My mother and I, we are best friends, we always have been. We both knew that the easiest way for me to leave would have been to just fade, like she did. But our ultimate goal is to get my father out of there, and this meant we needed to raise a bit of hell in some way. So it was a straight to the point DA letter from me. We needed to make his life in the JWs less comfortable, make him see that all is not good, that the elders aren't that pleasant when you aren't the perfect little family anymore. At first, we thought that my dad wouldn't go as far as shunning, that he would see the idioty of it. It didn't go according to plans, but we're not giving up. So many good councels here.

  So mom and I, and the rest of the family, we are all on the same side. No one is to blame, and she sure doesn't let him tell her that she can't see me. She told my father right out that she thinks exactly as I do about the WTS.

  He's not the kind of person who would forbid even my little brothers to see me. He's more inclined to act like a kicked puppy and urge the rest of us to go out together while he stays home. Or go in his computer rrom when I'm visiting. We don't want that though, because then he sees himself as the victim and tragic, saintly figure of it all . (And it reminds me of that blasted article about DFd kids.) My mother told him though, that she still wants to go out with me, she will not give that up. And it puts my father in the position of the one who is breaking up the family...and it can get to the point of ridiculous, for exemple, when she suggests we all go see a movie, and he takes the car with my little brothers while my mom and I take the bus and join in after shopping. So we go to the same movie, at the same time, but we sit in different places. It's so stupid, and surely my dad sees that too, and my brothers, who are 12 and 13, realized that it's just non-sense.