Why does LOVE hurt so bad ? (page 4)

Dansk

Oh, yes, women! Who the heck can understand them?

I read that women who leave an abusive relationship are most likely to end up in another one! Weird, but true! So, Old Flame, it isn't you that has the problem but your choice in women (but, I know, it's difficult to know what they're thinking because we can only go off their external behaviour at the time).

I've been married almost 28 years and I can still feel hurt. The hurt is never intentional, but I can be hurt non-the-less - but it cuts both ways.

I'll tell you what I told my children: don't go looking for love but just go out to enjoy life and then, when you least expect it, WHAM!, love will hit you right between the eyes. I don't know your situation, but one can try too hard.

Everything you say about yourself is desirable; those are wonderful qualities you possess, qualities the right woman would die for.

You may feel that age is against you and so you'll try all the harder. DON'T! Just relax, go about your business, be kind to all and, I'm telling you, WHAM!

Remember that - and don't forget to invite me to the wedding when you realise I was right.

Manly hugs, OF.

Ian

ballistic

From my own experience, I would say falling in love is much more exciting than slowly getting to like someone, however the risk is great and the fall is hard. My guess is that you *needed* her a little too much.

It's far more contructive to look at how you handled the situation than try to "understand women" who are all a little bit different to each other at the end of the day.

Twitch

Re: Why does LOVE hurt so bad ?

Can't answer that one for ya,....don't know. But I know how you feel.

The funny thing is, the next time it comes around, I know I'll take the chance again. And it'll be better.

SWALKER

OF

I wish all the nice people could meet up and all the ones with problems could enjoy each other...for some odd reason it just doesn't seem to work out that way! There has been a lot of wisdom in the above posts and there's no reason for you to think for a second that you're not going to find the "right" person. It sounds like you're a great guy and don't change a thing! (There is an issue with anyone that has been involved with someone that has addiction problems, and unless they've had therapy, they are likely to be drawn to those types of individuals again---it's called co-dependent behavior....be aware of that!)

Swalker

lesterd

So you when you loss it

lesterd

Its like most women who have the "bad boy" complex. They cant believe the real thing when it happens. It happened to me too many time when my first wife passed away, 35 years of marriage. I dated. wasnt looking for one night stands, wanted another wife for life, they couldnt believe it and walked away. Stop looking in the broken people pile, ost of them you cant fix and the rest dont want to be.

FreedomFrog

Oldflame ... nothing hurts more ... I feel your pain.
Sorry for yours (pain because of a woman) ... wish I could get over mine.
Sincerely hope life takes an upswing for ya'.

You're right there...NOTHING hurts more. I have 2 children and I can have 10 more with that kind of pain. The heart pain is unbearable at times. I could even deal with my finger nails being ripped off...that pain would be more bearable, and believe me, I have had one of my nails pulled off a time or two, so I know. I don't know why love can hurt so bad...but it does.

serendipity

Glad you're feeling better today, old flame!

Nice to "see" you again InBetween

oldflame

OK, I got to hand it to you all. This mourning I got up and decided to call her and tell her we needed to talk. I decided to keep being her friend and try to understand her problems. I met her and told about me being a member of a discussion board and that I brought it up for discussion. I told her that there were a lot of women who had posted to my discussion and that I learned a lot about her problems of continuing relationships with abusive men. I shared all the info that all of you shared with me and guess what ?

She started crying and said they are all right. She says I know I am only fooling myself and she told me how sorry she was for hurting me. We are going to try to work this out and I am going to be patient with her. It worked ! I won the Girl ! She told me not to worry that it is all good with us and we are going to enjoy our lives together.

You are all fabulous people, and I love each and every one of you. I don't know where I would be without this board and all of you who are such understanding people. So I wish you all goodness and give each of you a hug and kisses to the ladies of JWD you really helped me to understand women a little more. I think us guys need that once in awhile, you know a little refresher course in women 101 LOL

Sad emo

Sounds good oldflame

You're a big hearted guy to 'be there' for her. One step at a time.

Please be careful though that 'working it out' doesn't turn into a status quo on her part. If she's serious she's got to make efforts to change her situation otherwise she'll just be abusing your good nature.

Why does LOVE hurt so bad ?

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