by oldflame 52 Replies latest jw friends
Old Flame
I've been where you are, many of us have and it's SHIT!!!!!
When i've been there, people and friends have used the "it'll get better" line and although it's NOT what you want to hear at the time.....it's TRUE.
No woman or person is worth punishing yourself for too long.
You are the most important person here ....not her.
I've just finished a relationship! I'm not quite as heartbroken as you seem to be but there's still alot to wade through emotionally.
Peace
Lowden
I'm so sorry you are hurting and depression is something you shouldn't take lightly. Seriously, if you are thinking bad thoughts or of hurting yourself -- get help now, don't wait. As for this woman returning to the loser, it's a really part of the cycle in abusive relationships. I'm sorry you were pulled in and that really stinks. She may get to a point where she realizes that he will never change without help and unfortunately for most women that doesn't happen right away. My sister stayed with an abusive husband for five years before she finally left and he was physically abusive (a witness too -- shocker, right?) She had to learn on her own that he was not going to change despite all of the pleading, promising and begging that he did. Very, very, very few men are ever able to make the change, permanently. I wish you all the best but don't base your self worth on failed relationships. Get out of the house, exercise, go do something you love and most of all -- seek help if you need it. Talking out emotions is so very important. Again, I'm sorry for you hurt, in time things will change.
it never fails when someone comes along that really trips your trigger, you fall so hard for someone who really fits your wants needs and desires in everyway a man could want and then it happens. She has just left an boozer who is abusive. So I try show her how not all men are like that and that there are men in the world who really do respect women and cherish every one of them and it seems your making head way and you begin to feel like finally someone in your life whom you can really enjoy a life with, and then what happens ? They go back to the looser abusive drunk !
Old Flame, one of my sister zeros in on losers......she's lived with drug dealers, drug addicts, alcoholics, losers who can't hold a job, guys who beat her up or any combination thereof. The one who was 'only' an alcoholic and a woman beater had some kind of a hold on her and she went back to the asshole 5 times. If you get used to any situation, it feels "familiar" to your brain and can be difficult to break away from. This woman that you're in love with probably recognizes that you're a good decent guy who treats her well. The problem is, she isn't USED to men treating her well, so she went running back to what felt familiar to her.
Man this shit hurts like a hurt never before. I got a very deep feeling for this woman and she knows who I am and what I am. A genuine man who has values and a very deep passion when it comes to relationships.
Well hon, I know how you feel and you're right, love really hurts when you can't have the person you want.........hopefully, either this woman will eventually come to her senses and value you, or you'll meet someone else who does value the kind of person you are.
Here's a rose jes for you.
(((((OF)))))
((( old flame ))
I agree with the others. This is really more her problem. She may think she doesn't deserve better or that she can 'cure' him or it may be she has a recurring pattern of being drawn to these type of men due to unfinished business with her parents.
If you'll keep looking you'll find someone who will value you and what you have to offer.
Hey I got the problem resolved. Become a drunkin abuser then maybe I will get the love of my life back. What do you think ? think it will work ? Lets see where is that bottle of whiskey I hid ?
maybe there are things within yourself you need to resolve before you seek out love .
i hope you feel better soon.. believe me there are women out there who appreciate kindness and the love of a good man.
and not all women who leave abusive relationships end up in another or seek out that same kind of love.
Hey I got the problem resolved. Become a drunkin abuser then maybe I will get the love of my life back. What do you think ? think it will work ?
don't even joke about it? My first husband abused me and let me assure you that I will never...EVER...walk that path again. I know that there are good and fine men out there that can and do treat women with respect. I'm so sorry that you are hurting. It's horrible and nothing any of us can say will make it go away. But, you will get past this....trust me on this one. It won't be easy and it won't be quick...but it will happen ((((oldflame))))) Lisa
Old Flame, I just married a year ago a man who had been badly hurt years ago by a woman he loved. She treated him terribly (from what he told me) She lied to him, used him, ditched him in San Francisco. They got in a car wreck together and he got very badly hurt. She never called him or checked in on him. (He still suffers some injuries from that wreck) After a month she called to dump him. She broke his heart.
Then I come along and he sees the difference in women! Now he has a woman who respects him, looks up to him, and needs him and loves him, who would never lie to him or desert him.
We are both so glad we did not give up on love. I think the right combo is out there. Like a rooster (which I just got) you have to crow a little and let the girls know you are there and available. Be your sweet and loving self and the right gal will put her confidence in you.
But sorry you are hurting tonight O.F. Please just endure it. Cry if you must. True love is out there for you O.F.
Anewme
If you are 45, and the scenerio you mention happens over and over, the best I can surmise is that you have a defective picker.
You have a defective picker? What in the world does that mean?
