How do you answer this question??

by LuciousJ 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • M*A*S*H
    M*A*S*H

    I think it's a good question.

    Usually I would try to figure out why that person is asking me. Perhaps think back to any previous conversations I may have had with that person about religion or similar. I like to build up a mental image in my mind of 'who they are', their motivations possible religious affiliations, their upbringing. Once all that is carefully weighed up, as it is important, I'd probably...

    1. Start attempting to bite my right shoulder
    2. Develop a repetitive violent twitching in my left arm (the more violent the better)
    3. Try to achieve a good foot long line of dribble
    4. Perhaps try to eat something inappropriate... a cup or passerby for example.
    5. Bark like a dog briefly
    6. Then say "I'm *SPIT SPIT* a Jehovah's *HOWL FART (if possible)* Witness"
    7. Perhaps followed by "Would you like a Bible *BIG VIOLENT TWITCH* study? *PLACE HAND ON THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD PULL THE SKIN UP ON YOUR FORHEAD UNTIL YOU LOOK REALLY SUPRISED*"
    8. Jump around the person doing you're best impression of a kangaroo
    9. Pretend I Spiderman and run up a nearby wall

    If they're still hanging about...
    10. Walk up to them with your best mincing walk... and say "You?"
    11. *MAKE VARIOUS INAPPROPRIATE TONGUE JESTURES AS THEY ANSWER*

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    I usually say that I'm not a religious person. End of discussion. If they persist and ask, "Do you believe in God?" I answer, "The question should be, does God believe in me?"

    Then I open the sandwich and moosh the mayonaise covered bread in thier face.

    Just kidding.

    I try not to use mayo.

    W.Once

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    garybuss............you have the right attitude.........I love it

    I tell them I am an inactive JW.........I always get the eye brow lift.....then I ask do you want to know more? always...NO

    I say that because I am not df'ed or da'ed.........five years of fading this 9/11.

  • sspo
    sspo

    How about i'm spiritual but not religious.

    See what their reaction is.

  • sinis
    sinis

    How about saying your a Deist and that organized religion is just a geographical and chronological entity.

  • PrimateDave
    PrimateDave

    I would simply say I'm agnostic. I think most people find that less offensive than atheist, not that I'm all that concerned about offending anyone. If they inquire more, I'd just go ahead and say that I used to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and I found out that they were wrong. I have told non Witness friends about what Witnesses believe. I'm as blunt and direct as possible. I say things like, "Jehovah's Witnesses believe that over six billion people including babies and little children are going to be killed by god soon." That raises eyebrows.
    Dave

  • lesterd
    lesterd

    spiritualist, my relationship is with God and not a religious organization

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    I always say I don't belong to a religion, but I consider myself Christian.

  • skeptic2
  • Odrade
    Odrade

    LMAO @ MASH!!! bwahahaha!

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