My mom calls to chew me out about my college... YIKES!!!

by FreedomFrog 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • Scully

    I meant to tell you about this "interesting" little experience that I had.

    When I first decided to go back to school, in 1993, I had a very good JW friend whom I confided in about my plan to go back to school. She was a nurse back then, and I really thought she would be more supportive. But she told me what a mistake it was, and how selfish it was for me to "put The Truth™ on the back burner" so I could pursue an education and a career. We had been corresponding regularly for about 5 years at that point, but as soon as I started school, I never heard from her again. I figured: with friends like that, who needs enemies?

    Fast forward to 2005. We are on vacation and visiting some inactive JW relatives in the city where this "friend" lives. Just for the fun of it, I mention this person's name and ask how she and her family are doing. We were in for a huge surprise. Apparently, she had been taking University courses without telling anyone in the congregation about it. She is now a LAWYER and represents JWs in child custody cases. Her son, the same age as mine, is attending University with the intention of becoming a journalist. Her husband is still cleaning banks and wearing mauve sports coats to the meetings because he's pu$$ywhipped.

  • blondie

    FF, I would not let her control the direction of the conversation though. Have some topics you can change to when she gets on this topic. I consider this a form of verbal spanking and it does hurt especially when it comes from someone you expect to know what it means to show love. Don't be afraid to politely cut the conversation short it she continues in a hurtful vein. Just say, "I have to go now, Mom. I'm glad you took time to call...(add whatever)." Then hang up softly.

    Love, Blondie

  • Scully

    Here's another tactic that works great at keeping verbally abusive people in check. Use your speakerphone.

    The reason why this works so beautifully is that people who like to verbally abuse via the phone enjoy the privacy that a phone conversation affords them. As soon as they think that other people might be listening, they watch what they say.

    Next time she calls, just answer straight to speaker phone. Tell her that you've got your hands full (washing dishes or typing a report or making dinner) and need to have her on speakerphone... but "feel free to say hi to the kids while they're in the room!!"

    As soon as she realizes that your conversation isn't private anymore, "speaking her mind" is not going to be a priority anymore. And if she slips up and starts getting insulting, just say "OMG, I can't believe you said that with the kids here in the room!! That was so rude and uncalled for!!"

  • FreedomFrog

    Good suggestions!

    My mom doesn't call me much, it's almost like she calls me only when she is in panic. Well, on with life, eh?

  • lisavegas420



  • rebel8
    “Gina, if you would just come back to Jah, then ALL of your needs will be met. Sure, you won’t have a nice house of home, but you’ll always have food on the table and a cover over your head”.

    A jw said that to me, and I said, "No, I won't always have a home and food if I return to the jws. Look what happened to the jws in the Nazi concentration camps."

    His response: "That was only because Satan did that."

    I said, "Then how do you know Satan won't do it to me or you too? It isn't truthful for you to go around claiming Jehovah will always provide food and housing for jws, is it?"

    Response: " " (still waiting for an answer)

  • Scully
    “Gina, if you would just come back to Jah, then ALL of your needs will be met. Sure, you won’t have a nice house of home, but you’ll always have food on the table and a cover over your head”.

    In other words, I'm now doing a waaaaayyyy better job of looking after myself than "JAH" ever did.

Share this